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All of a sudden not a friend anymore

mrcorbin

mrcorbin

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Let's start from the beginning.

In case some of you haven't figured out.. I am a medical resident with an EXTREMELY busy schedule. A few weeks ago I had the weekend off (and I wasn't on call!) and a friend talked me into going out with him. We went to a bar and the bartender was really cool and hooked us up with some drinks. A week or two later we went back (predominately gay bar) and the same bartender was working. We said something about going to the back of the bar and he mentioned that if we wanted some shots to come see him. A few days later I noticed he added me on facebook (we had discussed our lives and introduced ourselves to one another). I accepted the friend request and we started chatting on facebook when I would have some spare time in the ER. Things were going really good and, in my opinion, we were hitting it off (he is 100% gay). Yesterday we started chatting and I had a page and had to leave in the middle of our conversation. When I got back to the house (much later) I read what he had said and went to send him a message back, because he wasn't online to fb chat, but noticed we weren't friends anymore. I haven't said anything yet but neither has he. He gave me his phone number but we really haven't moved the conversation from fb to the phone yet so as of now I'm just kinda hanging out waiting to see if he says anything.

Should I send him a message asking WTF why aren't we friends? Or just hang tight and see if he adds me back. I honestly have no idea why he would have gotten pissed and deleted me -- because last I heard things were going good.

Anyways.. any thoughts are much appreciated!!
 
It's time to make that phone call.
 
Did you tell him you got paged? Was he upset? Did he believe you?
 
Well, some members here have always been strongly against this texting stuff - whatever, emails or FB - and they have always been right. Maybe try to meet him in person, instead of sending messages, so you can find everything out?
Maybe he accidently removed you from his friends.
 
Did you tell him you got paged? Was he upset? Did he believe you?
Click to expand...

Yeah I mentioned it real quick and then left. What was strange is everything was cool when I left so I didn't even think anything was up.

Of course my life cannot be simple -- my iPhone crashed and I had not backed it up while it had his number. So therefore calling him is not an option!

Well, some members here have always been strongly against this texting stuff - whatever, emails or FB - and they have always been right. Maybe try to meet him in person, instead of sending messages, so you can find everything out?
Maybe he accidently removed you from his friends.
Click to expand...

Who knows - I'm almost over it now lol jk.

We will see -- I don't have time to go out anytime soon so maybe I will run into him.

Hope everyone had a great St. Patrick's day and as always - thanks for the responses.
 
So the benefit of working in the ED late at night is you get to hear all of the drama around town. The benefit of working at an ED late at night near the gay bar is that you get to hear all of the gay drama around town. My new "friend" I learned gets around town quite often -- and the reason we aren't friend anymore is because I didn't drop my pants quick enough.

Oh well. I have bigger things in life to accomplish! Thanks for the comments on here. I appreciate the thoughts.
 
aww that's sad. his loss really!!

you don't let a medical resident slip through your fingers. tsk tsk.
 
Jesus Christ I'm so over it with the whole "but on face-book he de-freinded me! What does it mean???? What does it mean????" dramas.

Fucking call him and ask. Or don't and wonder. Your choice. WE certainty don't know.
 
Tx-Beau

thanks for the input. Let me just dial him up on the phone number I don't have and ask him.

iPhone crashed and I had not backed it up while it had his number.
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What were you expecting in this relationship (no flame zone) forum?
 
Right, and what are we supposed to tell you? We don't know him, we can't read his mind. You want to gossip, go to hot topics, but you don't need advice, you want to speculate.

And if you really wanted to, you could contact him. But you won't, because then there'd be nothing to talk about.
 
I would consider yourself lucky and a bullet dodged. if he is going to be this much of a drama queen when you run out from chat, whats he going to be like in a few months when it could be date. A nightmare. Forget him and move on, and congratulate yourself on not being sucked into a drama life.
 
Well we talked tonight -- but according to Tx- Beau I should just STFU - which is what I am going to do.

Mods -- feel free to delete/close, etc.
 
Who cares if you really are in the medical profession why don't you find somone more up to your speed? Not to say that bartenders aren't good people but do you know how many people he meets? Get real if thats how he is going to act. By the way anyone on facebook needs to get a life.
 
I must say that I hope that if you are actually a medical resident with an extremely busy schedule, I hope that you're more mature and intelligent in your work life than you seem to be in your personal life.

But I'm not buying any of this. So what if you lost his number?

He is a bartender. He works in a bar. You went there a couple of times.

Didn't it occur to you that you could go back there again?

Why do I imagine that you'll be so busy that we won't hear from you under this name again for some time now?
 
There are a few posts in this thread that do border on being out of line for the no-flame zone.

I think where many people are puzzled by the story is that the relationship is casual enough that it happened primarily on the internet and wasn't serious enough to have a serious conversation in person.

That leaves it in the realm of an internet chat relationship. While there are many people who place stock in the relationships of social networking sites, it doesn't equate to real world relationships.

If this were a relationship that either of you felt had a future, the two of you would met for lunch in the hospital cafeteria, or a nearby coffee shop or maybe a movie at one of your homes.

That leaves several possibilities- he's a flake, he has a boyfriend, he likes the flirting and the chasing but nothing serious... but in the end, it's not worth worrying about. You can do better and there are other people that you could be investing your limited time in- with a far better return on the time invested.
 
^ Sagacious and temperate advice as always.
 
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