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bhandsome

bhandsome

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It's been almost six months till I came out to both of my best female friends. They have been nothing but supportive and accept me for who I am, which is great. Since then I have been trying for the longest time to figure out when I should come out to my family (mainly my mother). I know for a fact that my mother wouldn't look at me differently if I was gay, the problem is am I confident enough to be openly gay?

I think about if I would be embarrassed to show public affection or to get married. I think I'm allowing society to give me reasons not to come out sooner. I know everyone has their time to come out when their ready, but I think for me it's whenever because I mentally feel ready; I just need the words to come out of my mouth.

As a Christian, I know what the Bible says about homosexuality, and I'm not worried about it. My family believes that God doesn't like the act of homosexuality but he loves the sinner. I have my own views on that statement, but I wont get into that. We have gay family members that we love and respect regardless of their sexuality.

I think with the growing list of celebrities coming out and the increase of support for gay marriage, I think this year is when I do come out.
 
It's good that you're moving forward. At a certain point you'll reach that moment where there's nothing else you can do but just jump into it. It's never a smooth transition, but it's surprisingly easy once you do it.
 
bhandsome, it's all a process and coming out to one's self if one of the most difficult and time-consuming processes, I think. Part of coming out to one's self involves the exact questioning that you're doing...how do I think of myself with regards to society, how do I handle my family, how comfortable am I, really, living openly as a gay man?

Some make the transition to complete openness, and some never do. I have a feeling you will, if only because you're asking the right questions at the right time.

Go slow and do what's comfortable on your own timetable. I'm glad your two best friends have been supportive--I hope that gives you confidence to go on.

I'm sensing there's a religious aspect to your soul-searching, too. Before you come out to family, who may have strongly-held religious convictions, be clear on your own religious feelings/convictions. That will help if someone (immediate or extended family) tries to use religion as a weapon against you. There are a lot of books on the subject--and a lot of threads about it here in the religion forum. A local gay MCC Church can also give you strength if you're interested in wrestling with that whole part of this.

Good luck. You're on a good path. Keep us up to date on how it's going.
 
Keep moving forward. ..|

Congrats for making it so far.
 
Thank you all for the feedback. As of late I have been thinking about loving another man and in my head it's an amazing feeling.
 
So there's this guy in my class that I'm attracted too and I'm not sure he's gay. We have talked a few times and we both have a love for art, and we're both art majors. I'm not sure how to go about talking to him more to lead up to asking him out cause I'm not 100% sure of his sexuality. The only indication is his voice isn't deep and he has switch to his walk lol but that isn't much of anything.

Maybe I should start flirting and see where it gets me. Thoughts?
 
Um, no, you should just let him know in a natural way that you're gay, and see if his interest piques. Otherwise - and please, from the bottom of my heart, trust me on this one - you'll NEVER have a conclusive answer to your question of his sexuality.
 
hi bhandsome,

I fully agree with Rolyo85 that its much better that you first tell him / let him know that you are gay. So he must have no doubts that the friendly fellow-student (= bhandsome) is a gay guy. So first tell him that you are gay, and see how he reacts. Definately, you have alot of opportunities to meet him at school. Why not invite him to drink coffee (or something like that) and -casually- tell him that you are gay (and still in the process of telling people that you are gay) / you want to tell him abit more about your private life (etc.)?

Any idea about his opinions about gay guys? Any idea if there are other gay guys in your class / at your college? Any idea if he might have 'clues' that you are gay?

So what's the problem to tell him abit more about yourself? Are there alot of homophobes at the school?

Take care & feel free to ask for additional advice.
 
I have decided to ask him to meet up to study together. Not really a date, but a chance to get to know him and his sexuality, if he's open to discussing it.

No flirting for now Roylo lol
 
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