I'm not new to the site, but I am new in the fact that now I'm registered and in need of help. I am going to copy and paste (a rather lengthy, sorry) a post I was asking help for on another site. I'd like your guys' advice.
Let me start by saying, I am a guy. I don't see myself as a gay person, that isn't the issue here. I have recently had an encounter that has thrown everything I know about straight people out the window. I am in my 3rd year at university and I just recently made some new friends. We've already gotten comfortable enough to goof off around each other. In goofing off, me and one of my friends, let's call him "Brad", somehow began a stupid game of 'gay chicken'
Now, if you don't know what 'gay chicken' is, it's basically a game where two guys go in for a kiss and the first to back away is the loser. It's a nice way to get girls to go a little crazy.*
Anyway, we both went in and smacked lips. There was an awkward laughter moment afterward. "Brad" then just basically went back to doing what he was doing before, but it just didn't seem as playful and joking as the few other times I've goofed off like that with my other friends. He's also played it with a couple other people around me, but never went all the way in. He's even mentioned that time he actually kissed me, in front of other people.*
I really like this guy, as a friend. I certainly don't want to say or do anything to ruin this friendship, but he is just different from anyone I've known, not in a relationship-wise way, but just as a person I guess.*
A while back, we had a rather (very) awkward conversation, just the two of us, in his car. We were headed to a party and he wanted someone to ride with him. I offered. As we were leaving he jokingly told everyone else, as we were heading to his car, "hey, we're off to have sex, everyone okay with that?". Our friends know we joke like that. It was fine until our conversation in the car. It was basically:
"Brad": Does this mean we're gay now?
Me: Nah, no way man.
"Brad": Well college is the time for experimentation.
Me: I thought that's what camp was for. (jokingly)
"Brad": Well, I never went to camp.
Me: Me either...
"Brad": So does this mean you're bit gay.
Me: No. Sorry. I'm not.
"Brad" (hesitantly and quick): I mean, me neither.*
That was the end of that conversation. We were both sitting in a ton of awkward silence after that. It's the strangest conversation I've ever had with another guy. I wouldn't say I'm attracted to other guys, but I'd like to know if this guy is interested in me. I really want to know. I would probably entertain that possibility, no lie.*
We literally met two months ago and he's really cool. I love hanging out with this guy and he has the craziest sarcastic sense of humor, much like myself. So much so, it's hard to tell when he's joking and when he's being serious. But after the legitimate kiss, then that conversation, I just don't know how to approach the question of "Are you gay?" or "Do you like me like that?" or "Was that kiss just part of a game?" without harming our friendship.
I have another friend that I joke with, almost at the same level, who happens to have a girlfriend, so I know it means nothing. “Brad” on the other hand, is just different in that I can’t tell if he’s being serious or not. I do know he's had at least one girlfriend before. He did introduce me to his sister who knew my name. When asked how she knew my name she said it was because “Brad” had showed her my picture. From where, I don’t know, but it’s just the little things like that, that keep adding up. He is very flirtatious with girls, but the ones he is that way around, either have a boyfriend already, or are not interested in him that way. (sorry if I sound jouvenile or childish in my rants).
Now, on Friday, I was at his apartment for a party. I got drunk enough to need the couch for the night. It's not the first time I've stayed over and it's never a big deal. As I was laying there I overheard him, in his room (with a girl, not talking at first, if you catch my drift) start to talk about "Mary".
Now, "Mary" is a girl he has confessed to liking a lot. They aren't really together because he just hasn't pulled the trigger on it. I overheard him explaining how much he really likes her, to the girl he was sleeping with that night. He said he enjoys people who are serious with him, but he always feels like he can't be serious with anyone. He's always a jokester and its true, he has a hard time being serious around people.
I love this guy like a brother and would definitely entertain the idea of getting to know him better and more intimately.
The crux of this gigantic post is; how can I explore the feelings I have for him, as he's sending signals of potentially being bisexual as well, without compromising our friendship of his interest in this girl he likes?
Let me start by saying, I am a guy. I don't see myself as a gay person, that isn't the issue here. I have recently had an encounter that has thrown everything I know about straight people out the window. I am in my 3rd year at university and I just recently made some new friends. We've already gotten comfortable enough to goof off around each other. In goofing off, me and one of my friends, let's call him "Brad", somehow began a stupid game of 'gay chicken'
Now, if you don't know what 'gay chicken' is, it's basically a game where two guys go in for a kiss and the first to back away is the loser. It's a nice way to get girls to go a little crazy.*
Anyway, we both went in and smacked lips. There was an awkward laughter moment afterward. "Brad" then just basically went back to doing what he was doing before, but it just didn't seem as playful and joking as the few other times I've goofed off like that with my other friends. He's also played it with a couple other people around me, but never went all the way in. He's even mentioned that time he actually kissed me, in front of other people.*
I really like this guy, as a friend. I certainly don't want to say or do anything to ruin this friendship, but he is just different from anyone I've known, not in a relationship-wise way, but just as a person I guess.*
A while back, we had a rather (very) awkward conversation, just the two of us, in his car. We were headed to a party and he wanted someone to ride with him. I offered. As we were leaving he jokingly told everyone else, as we were heading to his car, "hey, we're off to have sex, everyone okay with that?". Our friends know we joke like that. It was fine until our conversation in the car. It was basically:
"Brad": Does this mean we're gay now?
Me: Nah, no way man.
"Brad": Well college is the time for experimentation.
Me: I thought that's what camp was for. (jokingly)
"Brad": Well, I never went to camp.
Me: Me either...
"Brad": So does this mean you're bit gay.
Me: No. Sorry. I'm not.
"Brad" (hesitantly and quick): I mean, me neither.*
That was the end of that conversation. We were both sitting in a ton of awkward silence after that. It's the strangest conversation I've ever had with another guy. I wouldn't say I'm attracted to other guys, but I'd like to know if this guy is interested in me. I really want to know. I would probably entertain that possibility, no lie.*
We literally met two months ago and he's really cool. I love hanging out with this guy and he has the craziest sarcastic sense of humor, much like myself. So much so, it's hard to tell when he's joking and when he's being serious. But after the legitimate kiss, then that conversation, I just don't know how to approach the question of "Are you gay?" or "Do you like me like that?" or "Was that kiss just part of a game?" without harming our friendship.
I have another friend that I joke with, almost at the same level, who happens to have a girlfriend, so I know it means nothing. “Brad” on the other hand, is just different in that I can’t tell if he’s being serious or not. I do know he's had at least one girlfriend before. He did introduce me to his sister who knew my name. When asked how she knew my name she said it was because “Brad” had showed her my picture. From where, I don’t know, but it’s just the little things like that, that keep adding up. He is very flirtatious with girls, but the ones he is that way around, either have a boyfriend already, or are not interested in him that way. (sorry if I sound jouvenile or childish in my rants).
Now, on Friday, I was at his apartment for a party. I got drunk enough to need the couch for the night. It's not the first time I've stayed over and it's never a big deal. As I was laying there I overheard him, in his room (with a girl, not talking at first, if you catch my drift) start to talk about "Mary".
Now, "Mary" is a girl he has confessed to liking a lot. They aren't really together because he just hasn't pulled the trigger on it. I overheard him explaining how much he really likes her, to the girl he was sleeping with that night. He said he enjoys people who are serious with him, but he always feels like he can't be serious with anyone. He's always a jokester and its true, he has a hard time being serious around people.
I love this guy like a brother and would definitely entertain the idea of getting to know him better and more intimately.
The crux of this gigantic post is; how can I explore the feelings I have for him, as he's sending signals of potentially being bisexual as well, without compromising our friendship of his interest in this girl he likes?
best of luck!
