Am I an anomaly?!?!?

[provenlogic]

If we were all the same, what's the point?

ahhhh... the jaded sigh of youth...

 

[Soilwork]

I know shit about cars but I love my motorcycle... and I'm a dedicated metal head.

So you're not alone.

 

[Fat Tom]

I hate gays who fit the stereotype, personally. So you should be happy that you're an "anomaly."

I'm kind of in the same boat as you, all thought not quite the gear head you are. I love cars, but I don't really work on them much (I don't work on my own due to the lack of funds... haha). Plus, I listen to metal and hardcore like crazy.

I don't have much fashion sense, I have had the same style for years. Khaki shorts, black shirt, black socks, and dark colored shoes. I've expanded a little bit from that, but not by much. And I refuse to buy ridiculously expensive jeans or shirts just because they're "what's in" right now.

When I came out to my friends some of them thought I was joking around because they never would have suspected that I was gay. That's the way I like it. I hate it when people flaunt their sexuality. It's fucking annoying.

 

[Fire]

I hate gays who fit the stereotype, personally. So you should be happy that you're an "anomaly."

You also fit neatly into a gay stereotype, it's just not the standard one.

 

[spreadeagle]

Since an anomaly is something that deviates from the norm, in one sense all gay men, including your b/f Michael, are anomalies - not that there's anything wrong with that.

Stereotypes are simply bland generalisations used by lazy thinkers with a herd mentality who are anxious about whether they fit in or not. And this is how discrimination and homophobia arise. Children pick on others who are obviously different inorder to bolster their sense of belonging to their own group. People are particularly scared of homosexuality for the very reason that it does not have physically apparent distinguishing features (like being fat or black or crippled) and so they have to focus on particular behaviours in order to distinguish themselves from those they despise.

 

[Fat Tom]

You also fit neatly into a gay stereotype, it's just not the standard one.

If its not standard... how is it a stereotype?

 

[najfus]

I don't understand how anyone can hate another gay man for involving themselves in "stereotypical gay activities."

Your perpetuating the endless cycle of homophobia that is caused by the so called stereotypical gay man. He doesn't exist. We're all individuals, even if it's harder to find it in some.

 

[Soilwork]

They don't hate stereotypically gay people.. they hate themselves for being gay and project it onto obviously gay people as a way of attacking what they hate about themselves.

Kinda sad, really.

 

[Fire]

If its not standard... how is it a stereotype?

What I'm saying is, your psychology is actually really commonplace in gay men.

In this forum alone, I've seen a lot of posts that read just like yours, by "real men" who hold a lot of the same ideas, and it's been my experience that they always have something to prove. They constantly try to show off how tough they are, how strong, always on the defensive like their masculinity is secretly being tested. They see the very existence of effeminate gay men as a threat, so they carve a list of their manly attributes into their chest and walk around with their shirts unbuttoned, so no one will ever mistake them for a fag. You see, even though these kinds of guys are usually masculine by nature, they're terrified of being seen as weak or womanly, so they overcompensate, because they are deeply insecure with part of themselves.


Now, I'm not saying that's you, I'm just saying it's very easy to slap a label on someone, and it's not always fair.

 

[Lube]

I hate gays who fit the stereotype, personally.

You hate them or you're not attracted to them?

There's an enormous difference between the two.

 

[najfus]

In this forum alone, I've seen a lot of posts that read just like yours, by "real men" who hold a lot of the same ideas, and it's been my experience that they always have something to prove. They constantly try to show off how tough they are, how strong, always on the defensive like their masculinity is secretly being tested. They see the very existence of effeminate gay men as a threat, so they carve a list of their manly attributes into their chest and walk around with their shirts unbuttoned, so no one will ever mistake them for a fag. You see, even though these kinds of guys are usually masculine by nature, they're terrified of being seen as weak or womanly, so they overcompensate, because they are deeply insecure with part of themselves.

I completely agree.

 

[Lube]

I mean...and here's the heretical questions...

...what does the so-called "gay community" actually *do*? What makes it useful? What does it contribute to anything?

You mean other than this and this?

Yeah, those stereotypical fags are worthless, ya know?

 

[Soilwork]

When HIV first reared it's ugly head, the gay community stood up, banded together and not only tried to fight to find a cure but fought up help the people in need.

The drag queens and leather men and party twinks all stood side by side as we fought for rights, fought for funding, fought for survival.

I guess if all you want is a little covert sex, yeah.. the gay community doesn't do much for you other than give you a place to go look for it.

But without the gay community, it would be illegal for you to be gay... you think those laws were changed without a lot of work from the community?

Of course you're not accountable to the gay community. You're your own man and you don't have to shoe-horn yourself into any stereotype just to make anyone happy. Most gay men aren't stereotypical gay men... it's why we can be invisible.

But yes.. the gay community can do things.. we do a lot.

 

[Fat Tom]

What I'm saying is, your psychology is actually really commonplace in gay men.

In this forum alone, I've seen a lot of posts that read just like yours, by "real men" who hold a lot of the same ideas, and it's been my experience that they always have something to prove. They constantly try to show off how tough they are, how strong, always on the defensive like their masculinity is secretly being tested. They see the very existence of effeminate gay men as a threat, so they carve a list of their manly attributes into their chest and walk around with their shirts unbuttoned, so no one will ever mistake them for a fag. You see, even though these kinds of guys are usually masculine by nature, they're terrified of being seen as weak or womanly, so they overcompensate, because they are deeply insecure with part of themselves.


Now, I'm not saying that's you, I'm just saying it's very easy to slap a label on someone, and it's not always fair.

Yeah, that's not quite me. I don't have to prove how tough I am, at all. Although I do work out, and when I'm joking around I guess I can be kind of rough, I don't feel that the stereotype is a threat, I just can't stand it. You are a man, act like one. But I know what you're talking about. I'm not really ashamed of being a gay male, but I see absolutely no point in acting like, well basically, a little bitch.

 

[Fire]

I see absolutely no point in acting like, well basically, a little bitch.

Believe me, I don't get it either. I have no idea why some people act the way they do, and it used to bug the shit out of me, but somewhere along the way I just learned to shake my head and let it go. Now people doing ridiculous crap doesn't really bother me anymore, most of the time anyway

 

[Soilwork]

Oh trust me, many of us get annoyed by those guys who go out of their way to be as gay as possible. But we don't "hate" them.

Maybe just a bad choice of words on your side?

 

[d00d]

Spencer,

I swear, I just came on these forums right now to make that exact same, word for word post (except replace "having a boyfriend" with "I'm trying to find someone").

Just got back from a disappointing date, and got home all depressed thinking "Is there someone out there who just wants to hang out, work on my V8 muscle car which I cherish, KNOW what they're talking about, be passionate about it, and you know listen to some good numetal while we work on it.


Oh, and is gay."

Unfortunately I've only found that in the form of a straight friend. Shit.

Like... I just want some help replacing my intake manifold, not talk about politics, and listen to some Chevelle; is that too much to ask?


We're both anomalies. Rock on.

 

[Fat Tom]

Nu-metal sucks. Just thought I'd throw that out there... haha.

Seriously, though. No talent mother fuckers playing music simply for making money. Fuck that.

 

[d00d]

Nu-metal sucks. Just thought I'd throw that out there... haha.

Seriously, though. No talent mother fuckers playing music simply for making money. Fuck that.

Wow, you sure know how to make someone feel good about what they love.

Well played.

 

[Fat Tom]

Wow, you sure know how to make someone feel good about what they love.

Well played.

I'm very opinionated and argumentative.