Am I horrible?

[mrdude]

I've met a guy who is great, but I'm not sexually attracted to him. i just want to be friends with him but he's still after sex where I've clearly said I'm not interested in him that way. He's was all good and glad i was honest, but like I said before, he still is looking for 'fun' with me. I've been feeling shitty about this as he's a nice guy, but in terms of sexual side of things - there is nothing there. How can I tell him again that I'm not interested? Feeling shallow here, but I'm into older men, not guys younger than me :/

 

[HunterM]

Tell him "No is no. It is not maybe. It is not let me think about it. No is no."

 

[Seasoned]

If he can't take no for an answer you won't be able to be friends.

 

[hylas]

i dont know whether you are horrible, he is dense, or both. but this doesnt sound like something thats gonna work out for either of you.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Pursue another friendship. No means no.

 

[GatorJTR]

just went through this. he decided we couldnt be friends. sucks because hes a great guy and a lot of fun. he's a good bit older than me and im just not attracted to him at all.

 

[maxpowr9]

If you say you are not sexually interested in him and he still pursues you, you need to become stern and say something. Ignorance never works because perhaps in their mind, silence still means 'maybe'. I made a comment about that in a 'Hot Topics' topic about someone being butthurt that their friends did not find him sexually attractive. That is why they are friends and not fuck buddies or your partner. I am sure you comprehend this but your 'friend' doesn't. If they can't understand that, they are not your friend and I would ditch them.

 

[earlgrey]

Don't see how you're at fault at all here. You've been upfront and honest with him, and he's being persistent despite being told no directly.

 

[eastofeden]

I see the truth much like peeling an onion. There are levels of truth. I always try the nicest levels first but if I have to keep peeling because someone is ignoring it...the truth can get a bit hard to hear for most people and like peeling an onion for too long...it can bring someone to tears. Maybe you have to peel a few layers and get a little tougher with him.

 

[loveguys72]

Can't disagree with anything that's been said.

 

[mrdude]

Thanks guys, helps out a lot. Meeting up again but I've made sure he knows where I'm at in this friendship. He's happy to just stay friends.