Pushover
Made of Win and Awesome
So, today I woke up to find myself thinking about the strangest thing.
Am I really in the closet, or am I just telling myself this?
The more I thought about it, the more I kept questioning what I've always thought of myself.
I've never said "I'm gay" to anyone, other than a few friends online. I've never lied about it, either. Nobody has ever asked me about my sexuality, they've just assumed. I mean, I've never said I was gay, and I've never said I was straight, either, just as I never lead any assumption that I was gay or straight. It never came up in conversation.
I have the feeling that if somebody asked me right now, this second if I was straight or gay, I would be going against myself and my beliefs by lying. No matter who asked me, I think I would finally, really tell somebody that I'm gay. I have never spoken the words "I'm not gay" to anyone, and I don't think it's in me to say that.
So, if I've never lied about my sexuality because I've never been asked or had reason to say so, does this mean I'm closeted, or just not 'openly gay'? I'm certainly not 'out' am I? I'm not sure I know the answer to those questions.
~Danilo
Am I really in the closet, or am I just telling myself this?
The more I thought about it, the more I kept questioning what I've always thought of myself.
I've never said "I'm gay" to anyone, other than a few friends online. I've never lied about it, either. Nobody has ever asked me about my sexuality, they've just assumed. I mean, I've never said I was gay, and I've never said I was straight, either, just as I never lead any assumption that I was gay or straight. It never came up in conversation.
I have the feeling that if somebody asked me right now, this second if I was straight or gay, I would be going against myself and my beliefs by lying. No matter who asked me, I think I would finally, really tell somebody that I'm gay. I have never spoken the words "I'm not gay" to anyone, and I don't think it's in me to say that.
So, if I've never lied about my sexuality because I've never been asked or had reason to say so, does this mean I'm closeted, or just not 'openly gay'? I'm certainly not 'out' am I? I'm not sure I know the answer to those questions.
~Danilo