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Am I terrible for wanting to do this

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aijalon18

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I'm bisexual and most of my friends know. This one friend in particular knows, and I can tell wants to hook up with me. We have been friends since we were 12 but only recently I became attracted to him. he is definitely into me too. But he's never been with a guy and wants me to make the first move. He pretty much identifies as straight and if you must give a label I'd say he is bicurious.

I really want to get it on but the problem is he has a girlfriend. He is pretty much happy with her. I like her too and I like them together. I dont want him to leave her for me or anything like that. I want to still just be friends. I really want to get this out of my system cuz I'm kinda obsessing over it.

If anything happens, which it totally could if i make a move, does it make me a horrible person?
 
The fact that you have to ask, gives you your answer. You know it's wrong. You just want someone to reassure you and give you the green light.

Always follow your heart and instincts, except on the SAT.
 
You already know the answer, otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question, would you?
 
aijalon18 said:
I'm bisexual and most of my friends know. This one friend in particular knows, and I can tell wants to hook up with me. We have been friends since we were 12 but only recently I became attracted to him. he is definitely into me too. But he's never been with a guy and wants me to make the first move. He pretty much identifies as straight and if you must give a label I'd say he is bicurious.

I really want to get it on but the problem is he has a girlfriend. He is pretty much happy with her. I like her too and I like them together. I dont want him to leave her for me or anything like that. I want to still just be friends. I really want to get this out of my system cuz I'm kinda obsessing over it.

If anything happens, which it totally could if i make a move, does it make me a horrible person?
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He got a girl friend. Don't make a move.
Let him make a move.
 
the "right" thing to do would be to stay away

we don't always do the right thing

if you really cared for him that would be one thing

but since u just want to score .................. staying away is the good guy thing to do

good luck
 
I would feel bad i think too. But I think about it like this. He and I are both sexually liberal. His girlfriend is kinda conservative. He loves her but knows she wouldnt be cool with him having a one off with his male friend.

I dont know if i would have a problem facing the gf but on the one hand I might feel bad because she would be unaware. But I'm honestly not in love with the kid and do not want to be in a relationship with him. So it's not like I'm trying to take her man.

He wouldnt mind if she messed around with one of her girl friends. In fact she's always dancing with them at parties and has even makes out with them. He's not into girl on girl at all so her making out with her friends does nothing for him. He let's her do it because she wants to. But we all know there's a double standard when it comes to female vs. male bisexuality.
 
So, if you had a boyfriend, how would you feel about someone making a move on him?
 
i dont think this will make you horrible person, but the guilt of doing something may haunt you in a worse way than this lust ever will. follow your heart and be prepared to deal with your actions, whichever route you take
 
josher said:
So, if you had a boyfriend, how would you feel about someone making a move on him?
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Honestly if it were a similar situation, I would be cool with it. I'm not sure if I would necessarily have a wide open relationship with tons of hookups. But I guess to compare it would be like if I was with a guy who wanted to hook up with his female friend. Not romantically just for sex I wouldnt mind at all. Or if I was with a girl and she wanted to hookup with her female friend as well, I wouldnt see it as a threat to our relationship at all.
 
^ Okay, that may be you. But what about her? Yeah, she wouldn't be cool with that.

Respect relationships. Heterosexual relationships are just as equal as homosexual ones.
 
Honestly if it were a similar situation, I would be cool with it. I'm not sure if I would necessarily have a wide open relationship with tons of hookups. But I guess to compare it would be like if I was with a guy who wanted to hook up with his female friend. Not romantically just for sex I wouldnt mind at all. Or if I was with a girl and she wanted to hookup with her female friend as well, I wouldnt see it as a threat to our relationship at all.
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Okay.

You're not helping us here.

If you want your boy friend and his girlfriend to hate you, then by all means fuck him.

There are issues of trust and fidelity and betrayal here that you're just not getting.

Here's the deal. Sit down with both of them and ask the girlfriend if she'd mind if her boyfriend fucked you, since it is just about sex, y'know.

If she says yes, then go for it.

And if you and the other guy don't have the balls to do this one little thing, then I think you have your answer.
 
I guess I wont do it. Even though I think her rules are a bit hypocritical. This is the girl he chose to be with so in order to keep my conscience clear I'll have to respect that.

But I also think people here cling a little to much to traditional relationship rules where a relationship needs to be monogamous. I think their should always be honesty, fairness, and openness but not necessarily monogamy.
 
aijalon18 said:
I guess I wont do it. Even though I think her rules are a bit hypocritical. This is the girl he chose to be with so in order to keep my conscience clear I'll have to respect that.

But I also think people here cling a little to much to traditional relationship rules where a relationship needs to be monogamous. I think their should always be honesty, fairness, and openness but not necessarily monogamy.
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But as Just_Believe and Rareboy said, you have to take her wishes into consideration, not just yours and the boyfriend's, right? There are 3 people here. She has a say because she's part of the relationship. If it's open, she has to say it is. So why don't you ask her? Do you know what the answer is already? I think so.

And the fact that he's not into woman-on-woman action and he wouldn't mind if she played around... makes it sounds like he's a closet case, not bicurious. IMHO.
 
Lube said:
But as Just_Believe and Rareboy said, you have to take her wishes into consideration, not just yours and the boyfriend's, right? There are 3 people here. She has a say because she's part of the relationship. If it's open, she has to say it is. So why don't you ask her? Do you know what the answer is already? I think so.

And the fact that he's not into woman-on-woman action and he wouldn't mind if she played around... makes it sounds like he's a closet case, not bicurious. IMHO.
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Yea everyone is right about considering her feelings. She is under the impression they are in a monogamous relationship and any modifications should be approved by her.

ANd I'm sure he's not a closet case. There is a big myth that all straight guys are into girl-on-girl. Most of them might be. But I know many of them are NOT at all. Both of my older brothers dont like it, a lot of my cousins, and many friends of mine are not in the least bit turned on by it. Some even think it is gross and wouldnt date girls who have been with other girls. It's one of many things straight guys say they like when they want to fit in with other straight guys.
 
huntneo said:
Yeah--I'd steer clear of this situation, aijalon. Don't go there.

I know it's really tempting to you...but find someone else. :)
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I know I gotta do something else. I'm just gonna push it outta my brain. I'm honestly not in love witht the kid I just wanna fuck him and be able to play xbox after.

I dont plan on anything happening but we are supposed to be moving in together. it was kind of a last minute thing. My lease is up and his roommate just kinda sprung on him that he is moving his gf in. I think it'll be find because we are friends but we have seperate lives as well.
 
I suspect it's coffee time.
 
I really wouldn't feel bad, especially if he made the first move. If he doesn't hook up with you he will probably find another person to hook up with you.

On the other hand I would pursue it, theres gonna be drama attached to it and I would rather stay away from that and wait till hes single :P or force him to break up with her haha.
 
If you ever go to Minneapolis, go to Butter Café. They have the best scones anywhere.
 
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