An argument with this English guy...

[nightmale]

This is ridiculous. This guy I slept with a few times treated our dates like a hook-up and yet he blamed my hook-ups with others.

Here is his email--

Can ya please exclude me from your emails. I'm not impressed by hearing about your sexual exploits, and in fact it bothers me to hear you bragging about them so. These are people, and tho many among the gay community do share your inability to share real intimacy as formed over time, a few do not. So even tho you may not be alone, that does not make what you do good. It is purely selfish, and that is the strongest impression I am getting of you. I have no doubt that you will disregard these comments as coming from an overly prudish Brit, but that is where you oversimplify. A few years ago I went through a period where I was mildly addicted to sex, and in the end I hurt and lost the most important person I have ever met in my life. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about this, but thankfully it has made me a better person. Perhaps more of a prude, but when it comes to staying true to a mate and a love, I really don't think that's such a bad thing.

I know you mean well, but try to have a little more consideration for others please.

Best wishes,

 

[nightmale]

Here is my reply. Let me know what you guys think--

Hi, buddy, I appreciate your heartfelt email.

So did you have any consideration for others when you ran away after parking your car without saying Good-bye to the one standing alone by your car, watching you disappear all of a sudden? I felt like I was such an idiot at that moment. I knew you needed to rush to work, but I doubt it would take 3 minutes to say Good-bye.

And did you have any consideration for others when you kept me waiting and starving for almost 2 hours? You asked me to call you at 7PM, so I did, not at 6:59PM, not at 7:01PM, and I canceled all the other appointments. Then you said that you needed to take a shower and that you would come to my place at 8PM. At 8PM I went downstairs and trembled in the cold, outside of our entrance for half an hour. I kept calling you, left you messages, but there was no answer until 8:30PM, when you picked up the phone to tell me you were tired.

Your temperament and ambiguity confused me. One day you told me I could go with you to Victoria as your mother was expecting to see your best friend. Then another day you totally vanished, and didn't return phone calls as you previously promised to. Your lack of basic social etiquette and consideration for people who treat you with great sincerity, devotion, loyalty as well as an open heart is nothing to be proud of. Fortunately, I have a highly efficient immunity system and I always believe there are people out there who deserve my respect, sincerity, honesty and affection.

As for my hook-ups, I don't think they are indecent or inconsiderate. I didn't have date-rape as the action took place mutually. That was just a story to tell people about human vulnerability, in a way of expressing an idea, arousing empathy, and perhaps entertaining the readers. These people are lonely and all they need is just touch. God knows they are not looking for a marriage partner. As long as no one is hurt, there is no harm to any party.

Honesty is one of my greatest virtues. Sometimes I'm appallingly honest. When I was with you every time, I was genuine, sincere and dedicated. I told you when we were lying together I wish you were a dog, because a dog could never turn against his master, and a dog knows better how well his master treats him than a human being.

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck with your continued endeavor.

 

[evil_danger]

So is this someone on here, I'm confused what triggered his original Email.

I don't think its so much cos hes English, just hes a dick I wouldn't want anything to do with him, you're better off just ignoring him. He sounds arrogant, self centred and generally a pig. I don't think he was concerned in his original email, I think he was jealous and just didn't want to hear about anything sexual in your life other than him.

Keep us posted!

 

[nightmale]

So is this someone on here, I'm confused what triggered his original Email.

I don't think its so much cos hes English, just hes a dick I wouldn't want anything to do with him, you're better off just ignoring him. He sounds arrogant, self centred and generally a pig. I don't think he was concerned in his original email, I think he was jealous and just didn't want to hear about anything sexual in your life other than him.

Keep us posted!

Thanks for your supportive reply. This guy read my email about my most recent hook-up with a someone who looks like viggo mortensen (lord of the rings, eastern promises, a history of violence, etc.) and sent me that email.

We're now in the same city. He text messaged me twice that he really wanted to see me again and I even brought him presents when I came back, but he never called. So i decided to give up on him and to meet others, and they he sent me that email.

 

[Telstra]

It is best not to say too much in emails.

 

[nightmale]

It is best not to say too much in emails.

Well, that was not "too" much.

And, when you want to give up on someone, i think you'd better explain to him why. You don't just disppear and never contact each other anymore. That's not nice.

Normally if I don't want to see someone anymore I would tell him/her why and wish him/her luck in the future.

 

[Telstra]

Well, that was not "too" much.

And, when you want to give up on someone, i think you'd better explain to him why. You don't just disppear and never contact each other anymore. That's not nice.

Normally if I don't want to see someone anymore I would tell him/her why and wish him/her luck in the future.

well, some people is not as nice as you, they just disappeared and did not reply because they are not interested.

 

[nightmale]

they just disappeared and did not reply because they are not interested.

that's no strings attached. it is usually agreed by both parties before they decide to hook up.

you don't disappear from your wife of 15 years because you are not interested.

 

[pausanias_usa]

He pretty much spelled out in big letters "I HAVE ISSUES."

Don't make them yours.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

If a dude is late more than 15 minutes and he is not calling to say, what is going on, I move on and drop him from my list of contacts. The social etiquette is here for a reason.

You have your own way of sharing the intimate aspects of your life with the rest of the world. Some people are very tolerant and accept it for what it is. The others do not. You are calling the shots. If a dude does not agree with your need to share the intimate details on this board, he is not your cup of tea and should look for someone, who is more to his taste.

Some dudes live in a most comfy world of double standards. They go around and hook up with other guys, no strings attached. If you do the same, wow, that's all wrong and reprehensible. Again, you are calling the shots. If he wants the freedom, and is at the same time denying yours, you can either put up with it or send him away. I have always opted for the latter.

SC

 

[WYSIWYG]

Friendships and relationships is about trust and honesty. Sounds like you have both qualities. Some men are more loyal in a relationship that others are. Some gay me like to play the field and are not looking for a relationship or marriage......but I think your past friend has issues.

I would move on mate, emails are like letters people for some reason never think the person spoken about behind their back would ever find out!

We all justify our motives and words in some way. Be true to yourself and all will be okay.

 

[nightmale]

If a dude is late more than 15 minutes and he is not calling to say, what is going on, I move on and drop him from my list of contacts. The social etiquette is here for a reason.

You have your own way of sharing the intimate aspects of your life with the rest of the world. Some people are very tolerant and accept it for what it is. The others do not. You are calling the shots. If a dude does not agree with your need to share the intimate details on this board, he is not your cup of tea and should look for someone, who is more to his taste.

Some dudes live in a most comfy world of double standards. They go around and hook up with other guys, no strings attached. If you do the same, wow, that's all wrong and reprehensible. Again, you are calling the shots. If he wants the freedom, and is at the same time denying yours, you can either put up with it or send him away. I have always opted for the latter.

SC

well-said. thanks.

 

[nightmale]

Friendships and relationships is about trust and honesty. Sounds like you have both qualities. Some men are more loyal in a relationship that others are. Some gay me like to play the field and are not looking for a relationship or marriage......but I think your past friend has issues.

I would move on mate, emails are like letters people for some reason never think the person spoken about behind their back would ever find out!

We all justify our motives and words in some way. Be true to yourself and all will be okay.

you are right. i'm fully capable of loving someone wholeheartedly and i'm also fully capable of extracting from a game i don't enjoy.

 

[nightmale]

His reply again--
LOL

Something about you didn't feel right. Now I know what it was. I really couldn't stay when I was running late but you are right about when I kept you waiting and for that I am sorry. I'm not perfect either, but I try.

Perhaps I am like the reformed alcoholic, overly sensitive to others who drink, but also perhaps wiser because of it. It took me a while to recover from my own sex addiction and I went through various stages of justifying my wrong actions, but in the end I had to admit I was wrong.

I think the person who needs touch most is you. You are not doing this to save the world. You are doing this because you are horny. Justify it any way you like, but at the end of the day your desires are entirely selfish. What these people need is not touch at all...it is someone to be a part of them -- but people like you have taught them that a transitory touch is actually all they will get. Just because others have treated you the same and are doing the same thing does not make it healthy or right. Millions upon millions of people smoke, yet not one nowadays would argue that smoking helps their health.

And that highly efficient immune system you speak of is your greatest arrogance! Essentially you argue that anyone who does not agree with you is not worth listening to. Well I am not alone, as Nigel sent me a letter saying he agrees completely with me and that after receiving that letter he has blocked everything from you. You keep touting about the virtues of truth, but truth is not a virtue without knowing when to use it. If you meet a fat person, you do not walk up to them and tell them they are fat! People do not want to hear truths they are not ready for or from people who do not have the right to give them. I did not ask to hear about your trysts, and by telling me you do nothing but lose my respect. I suggest you concentrate on other virtues ahead of truth. Try celibacy perhaps? I bet you will discover you cannot. Do a little research on addictions and I think if you look honestly at yourself you will discover that you have somehow become a sex addict. As per any addiction, it is not healthy and will likely negatively impact your life in a myriad of other ways.

Think about this, and have the courage to take a really good look at your actions. You wished I was a dog? Well dogs are what you meet every day, mere animals acting upon animal impulses. Personally I have a brain and I will use it. Now if all you want is to present yourself as an animal then continue as you are. If you also have a brain, and a heart, then I suggest you find others who are like-minded because these are not them. Granted you are not alone, but that does not mean you are right and good.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

The mind boggles.

Why would you want to entraitain any communication with this fake Dr. Freud?

He commands absolute truth and absolute wisdom in his own world and no one, no one but 'yes men' are welcome there.

I did go thru a similar experience a few years ago. I cut the guy off right away. That was that. The end of story.

The best clue to detect such guys: when they start insisting that they are, who they say they are instead of what they really do and how they really behave. Once the dude goes into those waters, he is ripe. Every further debate is useless, since he has assumed the control of all the ultimate truths and wisdoms. Nothing for you to do about that, save to move on quickly.

SC

 

[nightmale]

The mind boggles.

Why would you want to entraitain any communication with this fake Dr. Freud?

He commands absolute truth and absolute wisdom in his own world and no one, no one but 'yes men' are welcome there.

I did go thru a similar experience a few years ago. I cut the guy off right away. That was that. The end of story.

The best clue to detect such guys: when they start insisting that they are, who they say they are instead of what they really do and how they really behave. Once the dude goes into those waters, he is ripe. Every further debate is useless, since he has assumed the control of all the ultimate truths and wisdoms. Nothing for you to do about that, save to move on quickly.

SC

True wisdom. Thanks! I'm so inspired.

 

[Eternaldarkness]

He's just another guy who cannot make up his mind, blaming you to take off the blames he have for himself. If he grows up and changes for the better then you should reconsider, but if not, then you should move on. Struggling with a person who is struggling with his own self will be the biggest mistakes in life.

 

[nightmale]

He's just another guy who cannot make up his mind, blaming you to take off the blames he have for himself. If he grows up and changes for the better then you should reconsider, but if not, then you should move on. Struggling with a person who is struggling with his own self will be the biggest mistakes in life.

thanks.

i have consulted regarding sex addiction and i dont think i have gone that far. he must be self righteous

 

[rareboy]

uhhhhhhhhhh,

Nightmale.

I don't understand. You brag on the boards about having a sexual contact every day; admitting that you are a prostitute and you're upset because some guy doesn't think you're worth his time?

Get over him.

 

[nightmale]

uhhhhhhhhhh,

Nightmale.

I don't understand. You brag on the boards about having a sexual contact every day; admitting that you are a prostitute and you're upset because some guy doesn't think you're worth his time?

Get over him.

brag?

prostitute?

are you kidding me?