An Oldie But Goodie

[martin6]

I wrote this over a year and a half ago, but I kinda like it still. I've got a good tune in my head-- of how it should sound. But I can't figure it out when I try and play it on my piano. Oh well. Maybe someday...

What I Am

I’m not myself today
Could it be you made me this way?
I push myself inside
Could it be you like me to hide?

Oh, what I am’s not what I am
When I’m around you

I hate myself today
Could it be I’m just that ugly?
I lie awake tonight
Could it be because I’m untied?

Oh, you don’t deserve all this hurt
That I’ve caused you

Now I’m wondering why
I can’t just talk to you
I’m wondering why
You and me aren’t through
But every night
I wish you said something nice
And every night
I wish we weren’t living lies

Oh, what I am’s not what I am
When I’m around you

You have something to say
Why do you have to say it that way?
You act like you’re abused
But why do you make me feel used?

Oh, I don’t deserve all this hurt
That you’ve cause me

I change myself for you
But that’s not what I want to do
I’m mean and angry
And that’s not how I want to be

Oh, what I am’s not what I am
When I’m around you

Now I’m wondering why
I can’t just talk to you
I’m wondering why
You and me aren’t through
But every night
I wish you said something nice
And every night
I wish we weren’t living lies


I’m not myself today
Could it be you made me this way?
I push myself inside
Could it be you like me to hide?

Oh, what I am’s not what I am
When I’m around you

I made you sad again
It’s the only way that I can defend
Against your wicked words
I make you bleed because I am hurt

Oh, you don’t deserve all this hurt
That I’ve caused you

Oh, I don’t deserve all this hurt
That you’ve caused me

Oh, what I am’s not what I am
When I’m around you

I’m not myself today