I started bottoming a few years ago. And I'm now calling myself a bottom verse. So, a few things, lately I've been having my bigger dildo in my ass for hours at a time.
Is that a bad thing? Sometimes it aches after (like, after 2.5 hours after). And is this how guys get their holes to gape?
It depends on what you're using. Dildos should not be left in your ass for hours. The anal sphincter has a purpose- to keep the contents of your rectum and anus from leaking out- and the tone of that muscle serves an important purpose.
You can leave small butt plugs in place for periods of time since it requires constriction of the sphincter to keep the plug in place.
Also, suggestions for really learing how to control those muscles? I think I'm good at opening up my second hole now.
Finally, what exactly is the second hole?
You mean the internal vs external sphincter?
Here's a couple of pictures from a Sticky thread that is in the Health forum:
Anal Anatomy 101:
Versatastic said:
Starting from the anus, the rectum goes up a bit, and then makes a sharp 90 degree turn before making another 90 degree turn into the descending colon (hence the name "sigmoid" or "s" shaped). If a guy is just the right length, he hits at just that first turn, and it hurts a lot. It's not a sharp pain, it's blunt and doesn't subside with prolonged thrustings. If he's shorter, he doesn't hit it and everything's great. If he's longer, his thrusting will straighten it out so there's no turn anymore, and it's pure joy!
The colon and small intestines are held loosely...
There is one anal sphincter but it consists of two circular bands of muscle. The two bands are referred to as the external sphincter (the one you can see in a mirror) and the internal sphincter which is just a few millimeters inside the anus. Both muscles are under a combination of conscious and unconscious control.
Because these are muscles, they can be trained to maintain the tone of the muscle. When you're a child, you learn to keep those muscles taut during potty training. You can consciously tighten and relax the muscles by "clenching" and "bearing down". There are exercises that you can do called
kegel exercises where you alternately tighten and relax the muscles. Relaxing the muscles is part of learning to bottom since you must learn to consciously release both sets of muscles.
If you do not keep good muscle tone in your anal sphincter, you do run the risk of developing leakage of gas and stool from your anus.
There are studies that show that anal sex with objects of a reasonable size (basically, things the size of poop) don't damage the tone of the anal sphincter. However, there are some issues that can develop if you frequently use larger objects for long periods of time. For this reason, you shouldn't use large dildos or large toys for long periods of time.
Keep in mind that you only use your ass for sex for short periods of time; the rest of the time, your anal sphincter is there to keep gas and stool where it belongs. When you are doing kegel exercises and dildo training, you're working on alternately tightening and relaxing the muscles. Maintaining good anal tone is learning to tighten
and to relax the muscles. Don't solely focus on relaxation because while you want to be able to consciously relax the sphincters during sex, the rest of the day, you want to keep those muscles tight and in shape when you're not having sex.
