angels and devils

[Andreus]

i just dont get all the griping about people getting along too much and being nice to each other

after being away for a few weeks and coming back, i am reading post after post of two types of complaints...

one is about people insulting each other

the other is about people being too nice to each other

so what is wrong with saying why we appreciate each other?

 

[justsimon]

so what is wrong with saying why we appreciate each other?

I don't know.

 

[justsimon]

OH! OH! OH!


That is SO gay!

No, you're gay... and I appreciate it.

 

[justsimon]

My GOD! What gave it away? I was being SO careful to act SO straight an' everything.

*breaks out in a sweat wondering how many OTHER people can tell*

This could ruin my bid to run as Pope.

*prepares backup career plan*

Relax. I won't tell.

 

[Lube]

It seems that people mistake discussion for attacks.

They are not the same thing.

People get too defensive.

 

[blackbeltninja]

I suppose from my side it is annoying to log in and all the posts are idle chit-chat with guys telling each other how nice they are and telling everyone else that this guy is awesome and that guy is cool; or in particular when an interesting thread is hijacked half-way through with little inside jokes and replies and the discussion is killed off.

I assume that's what you mean by too nice to each other, at any rate. I do tend to avoid the congrats threads and some others which look like they could go that way, so I get ratty when another thread morphs into something quite indulgently back-slapping.

My 2 cents, anyway; not that the .za cent is worth much at 7.3:1 against a US$, though.

-d-

 

[Andreus]

It seems that people mistake discussion for attacks.

They are not the same thing.

People get too defensive.

ehh

I think you and I did that once, but we learned that we are both just opinionated guys who are rather blunt. I look for the humor in things though, and most of the time i can find it.

I am amazed right now at the state of affairs so to speak at jub because if all parties, which seem to be equally vocal had their way, thier would be no discussion whatsoever.

I think JUB is an online club, and as such, I simply am not interested in rude people to have fun with. Thats not how i define fun.

I do really enjoy spirited and passionate debate, though.

However, I have been around alot of really bitter guys who just want to hang out at the bar and tear the guys down that are having fun.

that reeks of jealousy and seems to hint at a type of person unable to form friendly relationships and so rather than put out the effort, they just slam people.

the trenchcoat mafia of our virtual high school, so to speak.

that level of resentment and malcontent disturbs and worries me.

 

[GL]

Over the last couple of weeks I've been increasingly disturbed by the ongoing feud between certain members, the influx of less than pleasant newbies and the hostility that goes in between. Honestly? This place isn't what it used to be. It saddens me that some people who I have made great connections with no longer feel this is a place they want to visit. I see where they're coming from. I lurk more now than I ever did and if it were not for the friends I've made here I think I might have left already. But I so enjoy chatting and sharing with those good friends, whether it be here on the boards or by PM. They are the reason I still come to visit.

 

[blackbeltninja]

I am amazed right now at the state of affairs so to speak at jub because if all parties, which seem to be equally vocal had their way, thier would be no discussion whatsoever.

I think JUB is an online club, and as such, I simply am not interested in rude people to have fun with. Thats not how i define fun.

I do really enjoy spirited and passionate debate, though.

that reeks of jealousy and seems to hint at a type of person unable to form friendly relationships and so rather than put out the effort, they just slam people.

the trenchcoat mafia of our virtual high school, so to speak.

that level of resentment and malcontent disturbs and worries me.

I think the problem is that there is nothing else quite like JUB out there. There are porn boards, there are blogs, there are online movie and gaming forums, there are sites for people coming out, there are sports sites... but this is the only place which has the lot all rolled into one.

For some guys, the change away from what they are used to is annoying - there is a lot of flux here, even I as a relatively new guy can see that, and although I am posting a lot more than I was when I started, there seems to be less discussion happening and much more small talk than there was a few months back.

Small talk isn't all fun. Small talk exists as a way to pass the time when you're spending it with people who... [how can I put this? Are not your usual type? Are not your idea of a good time? People you don't know or can't identify with] Fill in the blanks as you see fit.

I love having discussions, but I am in another time zone from many/most other JUBbers. It's annoying when you post in a thread which is dead at my time of day at GMT+2 and then when I return 24 hours later it is a members only area.

I love the polls; I love the "tell us an amusing story about your cat," I love the need some advice or has this happened to anyone stuff as well, but I do sometimes roll my eyes on log-in when there is nothing which grabs me, and I wonder how someone sticks around for 17000 posts when there seems so little worth chatting about at my mere 520.

That's 4 cents so far; or just more than half a US cent.

-d-

 

[Rand]

if people would just realize that the reason they are here is for my enjoyment, things would be so much better ......

just putting in writing what the majority voted for - - - if you so voted and this is not what you meant, please leave ....

me a note and I'll change it for you.

 

[gmoney]

i just dont get all the griping about people getting along too much and being nice to each other

I don't get it either. I try in general to be nice to everyone. Occasionally, someone will post something that really lifts my spirits or enlightens me and I feel like responding on the boards so others can see my reaction. I never intend to hijack a thread or have personal chatter on the boards, but sometimes a little post-replying back and forth does happen.

 

[Lube]

^Everyone does a little of that gmoney. I'm guilty myself. It's no big deal.

 

[Lube]

I think the problem is that there is nothing else quite like JUB out there. There are porn boards, there are blogs, there are online movie and gaming forums, there are sites for people coming out, there are sports sites... but this is the only place which has the lot all rolled into one.

Couldn't have said it better myself. JUB really is one of a kind.

 

[Andreus]

I don't get it either. I try in general to be nice to everyone. Occasionally, someone will post something that really lifts my spirits or enlightens me and I feel like responding on the boards so others can see my reaction. I never intend to hijack a thread or have personal chatter on the boards, but sometimes a little post-replying back and forth does happen.

hey gmoney !!!

you can hijack my threads with kindness anyday

you are a sweetheart !!

people like you are why I come here

hugs

 

[tbonez]

It seems that people mistake discussion for attacks.

They are not the same thing.

People get too defensive.

Oh my eyes! The irony! (well, sort of)

Some people just get sick to death of all the little pointers and "rules of thumb" people pull out of their asses. Sometimes it just general fatigue as the result of posters bemoaning the fact no one respects them because they are so much older and wiser and in the next breath sobbing about "ageism".

I say post whatever you want, when ever the mood strikes you in any format you see fit...within the forum rules, of course. For those wanting to treat other posters as objects to be manipulated to suit their wishes, go play with your Barbie dolls and let the rest of us express out free will and our own better judgment...not yours.

Unsolicited advice gets stale quicker than day-old donuts. One bite is generally enough to turn anyone off.

 

[gmoney]

^ Thanks Dreu! You are one of the reasons I enjoy coming here. I missed you while you were gone!

 

[Riverrick]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! An Andreus Poll!

Sigh! I'm starting to feel a little more secure now.

OK, my answer is........I'm bothered by the insults.

Can't have too many compliments out there though. I'm happy when people show they love each other. Can't have too much of that.

I think compliments go long way in the Coming Out Forums also. Some of these guys are pretty deficient in being told how great they are. Some of them have trouble believing it even after we tell them. So I looooove finding those little special things about a guy and complimenting them. They're so sweet.