Anxiety, Oral Sex and STI's/HIV

[jumblesale]

I suffer from anxiety, similar to another JUB member that posted to this forum recently about over-worrying regarding sexual health concerns.

I've only recently become sexually active, but only oral sex so far. I've given unprotected oral sex (switching to my hands before they climax) to two guys on separate occasions. I suppose the real issue here is my anxiety, and that if I'm so worried about my health then I should obviously ensure from now on that I take whatever precautions there are that will make me feel secure and comfortable.

But I must ask, and this will probably grate on those who see threads like this all the time, but should I be worried about the risk of contracting HIV (or indeed, an STI) based on these two occasions? There is always a risk of course, but is the relatively high level of anxiety I'm feeling right now justified?

I'm learning so much about myself recently; my anxiety is flaring up alongside these new experiences.

 

[bankside]

It's easier to figure out if you should worry or not if you know something about the guy (or guys) you sleep with. Do you know them? Are they strangers? Or do they know the health and sexual history of people they have been with?

 

[Gekishinken]

I wouldn't be worried about HIV from Oral sex. What I would be worried about, however, are other sti's. For example, gonorrhea and chlamydia can spread from the genitals to the throat via oral sex. Many people who have gonorrhea and chlamydia don't even know they have it.

I got gonorrhea from oral sex once. The guy had it in his throat and didn't know it.

 

[jensu846]

ya, I got gonorrhea of the throat once from giving a guy head once too.. Its a risk you assume when giving head if you don't know the guy well or at all. If you start having a sore throat a week or so after, then you may want to get it checked.

 

[KaraBulut]

But I must ask, and this will probably grate on those who see threads like this all the time, but should I be worried about the risk of contracting HIV (or indeed, an STI) based on these two occasions? There is always a risk of course, but is the relatively high level of anxiety I'm feeling right now justified?

The time to worry is before. Little is accomplished by worrying after.

Bottom line is that you had sex with someone that you didn't know that well, so now you go to the clinic and you get tested for STDs. That advice is the same for everyone. It is part of the deal.

There's a lot of relative risks to every sexual encounter. HIV is the one that everyone worries about yet is it the least common STD. You're far more likely to get HPV, chlamydia, gonorrhea or syphilis. The risk increases with the number of partners and the number of encounters.

Instead of being anxious now, you should look at this the same way you look at all the risks in your life. For example, the more you drive and the more people who are on the road with you, the more likely you are to get into a wreck.... however, that probably doesn't stop you from driving. Instead, you try to be smart by not doing stupid things like drinking and driving. And you probably wear a seatbelt.. just in case.

When it comes to sex, you shouldn't make decisions about what you're doing and who you're doing it with when you're drunk or high. You should always use condoms. And you should chose your partners wisely. If you act responsibly about sex, then you should not be overly anxious about your test results.

 

[Benvolio]

Also, you should learn the early symptoms of each of the major possible STDs, so you will be less fearful without symptoms, and able to seek treatment if you should develop some.

 

[thenewkcm]

The time to worry is before. Little is accomplished by worrying after.

Bottom line is that you had sex with someone that you didn't know that well, so now you go to the clinic and you get tested for STDs. That advice is the same for everyone. It is part of the deal.

There's a lot of relative risks to every sexual encounter. HIV is the one that everyone worries about yet is it the least common STD. You're far more likely to get HPV, chlamydia, gonorrhea or syphilis. The risk increases with the number of partners and the number of encounters.

Instead of being anxious now, you should look at this the same way you look at all the risks in your life. For example, the more you drive and the more people who are on the road with you, the more likely you are to get into a wreck.... however, that probably doesn't stop you from driving. Instead, you try to be smart by not doing stupid things like drinking and driving. And you probably wear a seatbelt.. just in case.

When it comes to sex, you shouldn't make decisions about what you're doing and who you're doing it with when you're drunk or high. You should always use condoms. And you should chose your partners wisely. If you act responsibly about sex, then you should not be overly anxious about your test results.

Thank you for this post!

Though it's been a challenge, I'm overcoming my sexual anxiety.

I had shitty sexual education in school and when I became sexual active, I was worried about HIV the most. Clinics started offering free HIV, HBV, syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia testing, so I'd get tested every 6 months and I learned more about them. I BARELY engaged in intercourse, but was having oral sex and I never realized that I was putting myself at risk for other STIs and not so much HIV.

Once I started volunteering in the sexual health field, which is now my career and I'm a certified HIV testing counselor, I learned more about HPV and HSV (viral, no cure, easily spread), which FRIGHTENED me, so I started getting tested every 3 months and abstained from all sexual contact. I don't even want to kiss or date anyone.

But now I'm realizing that it's unhealthy to paralyze myself and stop myself from living. As long as I get tested, communicate with my partner about their sexual health/getting tested, and use latex condoms/flavored condoms/dental dams properly, I'll be just fine. Life must go on and I can't afford to keep hurting myself.

 

[PhunkSpunk]

You're far more likely to contract gonorrhea of the oropharanx and oral herpes from receptive oral sex than anything else. In fact, I don't think there has been a single verified HIV infection -- a large prospective Spanish cohort study of mixed partners has yet to turn up a single infection. While the mechanism of infection is hypothetically is there, so too are the body's best defenses against infection.

 

[SC6201]

Type 2 herpes from my first sexual experience...oral only. It happens. Be careful.

 

[PhunkSpunk]

Herpes is funny. Something like 90% of the population will be infected with the oral by the time they reach adulthood, typically through non-sexual vectors. In the west, HSV1 is the dominant infection, in Asia HSV2. There is a high degree of cross-reactivity between these viruses, which means that if you're infected with one, you probably won't get the other. If you get periodic cold-sores, chances are you won't get herpes on your Johnson.