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Any Advice?

jojo84

jojo84

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I've been around these threads for a while now, leaving for a while and coming back. I think I am beginning to accept my bisexuality. I have only had intimate relationships with girls, and so I know the attraction is there. However, I definitely find myself attracted to guys, physically and mentally speaking. Sometimes I feel like I am more attracted to a personality regardless of gender, so I can find myself attracted to guys and girls. So despite never having a physical, intimate relationship with a man, I can admit to myself that I am attracted to men.

I'm still no where ready to "come out" beyond this thread. I am still grappling with accepting m bisexuality in terms of my faith and how I would chose to express it. But I was just wondering if anyone has experienced the same scenario in their process of discovery. If you have, do you have any advice so I can become more comfortable with myself and confident with my sexuality?

Thanks

PS. I have had a fairly conservative upbringing and REALLY need to get out more.
 
I'm not bisexual but in my experience learning to be comfortable and confidant in ones sexuality isn't something that just happens. It takes time of living with it and accepting it. Admitting it to yourself is the strongest step you can take, and since you've done that I think time will be your best aid.

As far as your faith, the religion forum here has an abundance of resources. In fact I read something from here today that would be perfect for you, but alas, I cannot find it at the moment. I'll look for it and if I see it I'll let you know.
 
I had quite a similar scenario with coming out: me finally coming to terms with my sexuality, how to tell friends &family members & predicting their reactions. like, through middle school I was trying to convince myself that I liked girls just a little so I wouldn't have to be a complete gay, like its not as bad as it sounds because I still liked girls. yeah, I threw that idea straight out the window because I don't know, all of a sudden I just thought, well, I'm gay, I always have been, I'm clearly not attracted to any girl, and then accepted it within myself that isn't something I've chosen, its just what I am and how I always felt. in high school and at work I had several, several lesbian and gay friends so I could see that I'm not alone in this, there's millions of people that are going through the same thing, so why be ashamed of it? I was brought up to believe in god, follow the bible teachings and so on, but in this time of discovery, because I know that being gay wasn't a choice, I can't and won't believe in a god or any of his teachings that think homosexuality is a sin. to me, that's like, ok you're going to hell because your gay and didn't chose to be, so now I'm not sure if I believe in a god, and I don't believe in religion for sure,and decided that being agnostic is the best way for me to come to terms with me being gay. that way if I think I do believe in a god, its not one that says you're a sinner for something you didn't choose. I think that started giving the attitude like so what I'm gay, you either like me or you don't. then when I started coming out to friends and family, it was under the belief that if they're really my friends, then this shouldn't be a big deal, I'm the same person, just not hiding the homosexuality anymore. so I did, and they didn't care the least bit that I was gay, and so it worked out. and my family was really cool with it, they said they could already tell,but I still haven't come out to my dad, he's a big homophobe and I just don't think he's ready yet for this news.
 
so I don't know dude, I think if you go out and make lots of gay friends, you ,too, will see that you aren't alone in this, there's others struggling with the same problem, if they're truly your friends, it shouldn't be a problem at all. and just embracing this within saying, 'this is who I am, you like me or you don't', kinda gives you the courage to be strong....
 
It's a process. Acceptance and being totally comfortable with oneself doesn't happen overnight.

The good news is that time handles most of it. As time goes on the process continues and you start to get more and more comfortable with who you are.

When I was younger in my twenties I felt overwhelmed with fear and anxiety about things like What will my family think? I can't let my friends know, etc. I'm Catholic so it's "wrong." Blah, blah, blah.

I'm totally at peace today with God with my family with my friends and with my partner.

You will do just fine my friend.
 
JNewYork posts a lot of wisdom ^^^ and I found the same to be true in my experience.

You're on a path of self-discovery. What's great is that you seem to be embracing learning about yourself, instead of hiding from it, denying it, and pretending certain feelings don't exist. That will bid you well in the time ahead.

I can't speak for everyone here, but I would guess that many of us were where you are now at some point in our lives. Time really does help bring this all into focus. Keep reflecting on it, and the answers that are right for you will come.

Good luck!
 
Hi,

I fully understood the difficulty of your coming out. You even have the church for an avatar. I am not good in words or giving advices & all that but I know that people in this forum would be a great help for you.

Good Luck!
 
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