ANyone afraid tehy will be alone for eve?

[screwnutty]

I'm just got home from the bar and my first gay party! I;m alone. maybe i'm just destinedtio be alone forever? Anyine else have this fear?

Hey Mark. Long time no see. Anyways to answer your question.....Yeah I had the fear. But I don't know if it's just me aging or my personality changing. But I find that as I'm getting older in my life (Compared to you...I'm old at 31!! Yup, to be a young pup again ) I find myself not caring about popularity or the need to be with somebody. I guess what I trying to say is the fear of being alone has changed to a new fear....the fear of finding somebody who I just "click" with and then losing them.

Oh well....maybe I'm just getting mean in my old age! I mean I'm so use to having to do things myself without anybody else for help that I'm slowly becoming a lone wolf. Course I'm a big guy in real life....I've gone 31 years so far without any girls or guys for that matter, even remotely finding me attractive, and the three guys that I have really liked in life....turned out to be straight. So I've just thrown in the towel and accepted fate. There's no sense worrying over something that you can't control. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't....it doesn't. Life goes on I guess.

Anyways your still young and plus your still in the whole coming to terms phase....I won't worry about it yet. Just stop assuming that every party or friends house that you go to...that you have to hook up. Most of my friends got there girlfriends/wives totally without even trying...it just happened.

 

[puka-pride]

ok babe.. every single person has this feeling... and every single guy who comes home from a night at the bar or a party.. or a club.. will feel the same as you...

but let me just say this... if you didn't come home alone tonight... then u've probabl;y brought someone home who doesn't really care... it probably just be a one night stand and u;'d still be alone...

so its much better to go out and have a great time with friends.. meet new guys.. get numbers, email adresses whatever.. and come home alone because one nighters will never stop the feeling of loneliness

 

[M4P]

Back when I was single and unsuccessful finding a partner I made a decision that I was going to become comfortable with my situation. I did it; I was happy with my life as a single man surrounded by good friends. With this I decided if someone came into my life all the better. If not, it's still going to be okay because I'm happy with who I am and my circumstances

 

[luminum]

Sweetie, I think you're drunk. And it's okay to feel that way.

So everyone does, and you'll be much happier, like puka says, with someone you bring home when you're completely aware than with someone you stumble home with after a good drink.

 

[BrandonSBCA]

You should feel lucky that you go to a gay club, I haven't been to a gay club yet. I have been to a gay bar.

I know for a fact I'll be alone this Christmas Eve, but then again I don't really care. I've been alone for New Years as well 7 straight years.

I've learned to accept it and it's not like I try to make it a big deal.

 

[Andross]

Yea, definitely. At 26 I feel that "time is running out" sorta... I really don't know why - I have plenty of good friends, the best boss (female, lesbian, married to her wife) in the world - but not a single gay friend. I know a few gay people - i.e. a real cute barkeeper from one of the gay bars in town, but that's it. Nobody who is even remotely in the vicinity of being a relationship. I hate being alone when I am at home, so hopefully whoever decides about boyfriends, has one in store for me

 

[Andross]

Well I think if you're cute, it adds another "barrier". Many people think "oh this guy probably already has a bf" or "he doesn't like me anyway". I catch myself thinking that when I see someone cute The two times I've fallen in love so far were unhappy straight guy crushes that hurt a lot. Being single is a protection against that sort of thing, but it also hurts to be alone. Either way you do it, it sucks... and not in a good way.

 

[M4P]

I think 26 is a little young to be writing off your prospects of finding a partner for the rest of your life

If meeting someone is your ultimate goal you need to be out. Bars aren't always the best places to find someone. Get involved in activities where like minded people will be - volunteer activities, college courses or sports groupls

Most of all, hold your head up high and show confindence and self respect. When people believe you like and feel good about yourself they are going to want to get to know you

 

[Alive and Free]

I sure do wonder.

 

[Pringle]

Ah bless you No need to apologies - No law yet about "Drink JUBbing". (its only the grammar police that will get ya )

Yeah I'm pretty sure I wont ever find the right person but I'm not afraid about that as I'm pretty happy with how life is for the time being. Unless someone wants to come and do the housework???

 

[M4P]

No apologies are necessary; I'm glad your point of view has changed today!

Enjoy the rest of your day

 

[Theyoungman]

I'm not afraid because I know for a fact I will be alone...

 

[Kulindahr]

Sometimes I'm terrified of being alone.
Right now is close to that, because of memories: last Christmas, my first Christmas out, I called ahead to my mom's house to see if everything was chill, and she said it was kool, come over... and when I got there, my siblings walked out on me. See, I'm the "wicked" one in the family, now.
That was just a couple months after all my local friends finally got the word "what" I was... and all don't even admit I exist, on the street.
So being alone is harsh. Getting to a gay bar helps; at least there's people to talk to (though I'm crappy at it). But I've never gone home with anyone from a bar; I haven't even gotten a phone number or e-mail addy.
Just be glad you're close enough to go regularly; it's a $30 round trip over a mountain for me. And when you're feeling like you'll be alone forever, stop by a bar you like, for lunch, and remind yourself of all the fun people there... and that you're bound to at least make a friend or two, in time.

 

[spreadeagle]

The prospect absolutely thrills me, and if you embrace your solitude you'll find you have so much more energy, time and money to engage in the things that really matter. Ultimately everyone is alone.

 

[The_Reaper]

Are you kidding?

I'm not even 20, and I'm already convinced it's my destiny to be alone.

Of course, I could be wrong.

 

[_AJ_]

It seems I have a tendency to come home totally wasted and post threads like this...I know what everyone has said so far is true: I just need to step back, enjoy my singlehood and realize what I have is important too.

But, when you're drunk, all life's little things seem so big. Or maybe they just do for me (depression, therapy, etc.)

Either way, I'd like to apologize for my little indiscretion and thank you for the support.

gotta love drunken JUB threads

it seems to get to me more when ive had a few as well its either up up up
or way down its not nice

 

[looseliam]

With friends and family, you'll never be alone.

 

[Kulindahr]

With friends and family, you'll never be alone.

That worked... till I came out.

 

[gabriel1]

I'm just got home from the bar and my first gay party! I;m alone. maybe i'm just destined to be alone forever? Anyone else have this fear?

Nope I like it this way. Just because one is alone does not mean they are lonely.

 

[Evsann]

Don't really fear it. I just came to conclusion that no relationship will ever fulfill my idea of a relationship and in the end will collapse under the weight of my own misery.

I have lived in my head for some time now. I have just come to expect that I will continue to live on that way.