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Anyone been or in a relationship with a married man with kids?

J

jjgunn

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He decided he couldn't take the guilt anymore and just want to be friends. We were in for almost eight months. I knew this was coming, it was inevitable. I guess I was a fool to pursue him after I met him; even after he told me that he is married and has kids on that day when we first met. A fool again to fall for him for the past months. And a third fool to think that the relationship will go far. Im a triple fool, I guess. Ive always wanted to say "I love you" but I held it back for the months we were seeing each other. I was going to say those words when we had a talk last weekend but I held it. I just said "Im falling for you." He did tell me he has feelings for me and that he is falling for me too. But the guilt, he coudn't bear anymore. We talked about it for a bit again today over the phone. We will talk more about it, in person, probably later this week. He wants to be friends but I want more than that. And to make it more complicated, Ill be renting one of his properties in August.

:(
 
yes, i did that once and it was horrible. I was so in love with him. He always told me he was going to get a divorce but never did. He had a son, so he wanted to stay in the marriage for him. I would see him out with his wife at clubs sometimes and we would have to pretend to be strangers, but we would meet eyes across the bar. I hated it. After a year of him telling me hes getting divorced and not doing anything, (he would tell me he has attorney appointments and all that, but never really did) I realized I was just always going to be "the mistress" and never going to be with him exclusively, so I told him I cant do this anymore and cut off ties. I told him that if he ever does leave his wife, to contact me then and we will see what happens.
 
How long before the guilt ate away at you for breaking up a home? Unless you have no conscience. Did you really think you could live happily ever after knowing what you did? You pursued him, you lost. Did you really believe a man would give up everything, a wife, children and home, for you and would be happy and fulfilled?
You should be grateful he dumped you. Don't try to be friends with him, either. You won't be able to stop pursuing him if you do.
 
The potential alimony and child support stop a lot of married men from divorcing their wives. When the children are adults (and no longer legally dependent), the probability of divorce is higher.

Do you want to get better from your miserable emotional state? If yes, cut off all contacts with this married man. Don't even rent his property. Otherwise, you are very desperate. And he's playing you for a fool for the fourth time. Not only he rejected you, he's taking your money to support his family.

There are plenty of other rental properties in town.
 
I only messed around once with a married man, He was too confused and didn't know what he wanted so we eventually stop talking
 
Let me put it to you in the nicest way possible,gay or straight most of the time married men don't leave their wives,period.
You are a way for him to have no strings attached sex and nothing more. I'd be looking elsewhere for property if I was you.
 
Sounds really painful. I think the "married man/woman" thing presents a real imbalance. The married person is taking risks, but has a safety net. A home, a family, everything they want. The single person has none of that and is trying to build it, but can't.

Fatal Attraction.
 
Yes me married for 8 years two sons and had sex with a guy from work. 4 months later came out to my wife and divorced her. My sons who were very young at time treat us like two dads and I still talk with wife.
 
Relationships like that are bad news. Never fall in love with a married man who has kids. There have been many like you who have posted similar stories on this board. It always ends badly. His wife and kids are the number one priority in his life over the sex he has with you. Period.

Hopefully your story will provide a lesson to others silently reading this board to not go down that path. A woman is no less valuable in her marriage or relationship with a man than you are. And then the kids are a completely different story too.
 
jjgunn said:
He decided he couldn't take the guilt anymore and just want to be friends. We were in for almost eight months. I knew this was coming, it was inevitable. I guess I was a fool to pursue him after I met him; even after he told me that he is married and has kids on that day when we first met. A fool again to fall for him for the past months. And a third fool to think that the relationship will go far. Im a triple fool, I guess. Ive always wanted to say "I love you" but I held it back for the months we were seeing each other. I was going to say those words when we had a talk last weekend but I held it. I just said "Im falling for you." He did tell me he has feelings for me and that he is falling for me too. But the guilt, he coudn't bear anymore. We talked about it for a bit again today over the phone. We will talk more about it, in person, probably later this week. He wants to be friends but I want more than that. And to make it more complicated, Ill be renting one of his properties in August.

:(
Click to expand...

Everything about your story seems to mirror mine, except he didn't have kids. He told me he was married when we first met. He didn't share that information over the phone however. Nevertheless, I continued seeing him for 4 months knowing it was wrong. Then suddenly, he seemed to have lost interest in me. My texts weren't returned as quickly as before, and he wasn't the person I've come to know (and fall for). We finally talked about it, and he told me he was trying to make things better between he and his wife. So I asked him, "What does that mean exactly?" He said he will no longer see men period.

After months of feeling a painful lost, and trying to get over him, I discovered that he was seeing another guy, and he met this guy only weeks after telling me he was trying to change his life. So once again, I felt this burning pain in my chest that was just unbearable. I felt so stupid for allowing myself to develop feelings for this guy, thus I blamed myself for the pain I was suffering through.

I later came to realize that Married Men often use their Wives as a crush, or a way out of Gay affairs once they've satisfied their sexual curiosity with that individual. It's an easy way out that allows them to move on to the next sexual fling without the typical baggage that comes with a "legitimate" relationship.

Everything I've come to respect about MYSELF was betrayed when I entered into that situation. I couldn't look myself in the mirror for a long time. And it still hurts to this day.

Never again!
 
I'm married and have been in two long relationships with another man. One was married but not out to his wife. We had an understanding that the wife and family always comes first and he decided to stop seeing me. The other man is openly gay. It was actually pretty wonderful. I'll call him Randy. He had a married ex that had dumped him. Randy's ex always refused to see him anywhere in the city (Chicago). They would drive way out to the far suburbs and spend a night in a motel or go on camping trips together. Eventually Randy told him he had to make a choice. And the ex chose his wife. But when the ex called after about a year and a half, While Randy and I were seeing each other, Randy wanted out of our relationship to see what would happen with the asshole ex.

So it isn't always the married man who is screwed up.
 
Back when I was young and stupid and very selfish, I had a thing - 'cause you can't really call that a relationship, with a guy with kids. he was hot, I was careless, and callous, and it was fine for awhile. Until this one night we were fucking in the back of his car, outside his house, and the damn car seat kept getting in the way.

Now I'm a slut at heart, but somehow that fucking kiddie seat kept reminding me that this was not slutty, it was kinda sordid. i always had my misgivings, but as long as I could put her and the ankle biters out of my mind I was good to go. Until that night, tripping over his baby contraptions, outside his house in the dark, with the wife a hundred yards away. Not good.

I did not like the way that made me feel about me.

Never went back, and never did it again.
 
I was the married man with the two kids and had been fooling around for a few years until I met my husband. He and I raised the kids along with my ex-wife. He and I just celebrated our 29th anniversary.

I'd agree that it's playing with fire and wouldn't advise it as something to seek out, but we're all on our own path. Relationships start and end for all sorts of reasons. Obviously it's best when both people are free to commit, but how many of those relationships last?

There are things I wouldn't now do given the chance and things I wouldn't advise, but I'm very understanding of questionable choices when folks are motivated by sex or love. I think that people should look for happiness with the understanding that soap opera scenarios can lead to injury or worse.
 
Ninja108 said:
Let me put it to you in the nicest way possible,gay or straight most of the time married men don't leave their wives,period.
You are a way for him to have no strings attached sex and nothing more. I'd be looking elsewhere for property if I was you.
Click to expand...

Well said.

I never understood how someone would heavily pursue someone that's already in a relationship and try to turn it into a healthy relationship. If he's confused and cheats with you and eventually makes a decision to "come out" his selection of other men with be greater with tons of easy options so he will someone more suitable to his type. You are convient at the moment so don't assume you are his first and last stop. I know it's fun but these situations always take a turn.
 
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