Anyone ever come out by email, or mass email?

[UC3543]

Re: How to come out?

Anyone come out by e-mail or mass e-mail. I have only come out to one person, but I am seriously considering sending an e-mail to my dad, and my two brothers and two sisters.

I see some advantages - this will give my famly members a chance to read the news, have a chance to digest it and then we can talk.

Also this way I'll be able to say exactly what I want them to know, if I tell them in person - I know I'll be nervous and not say exactly what i want.

Sure, part of the reason is that I'm scared to death, but I think in some ways it is better to do in written form.

(just an aside, recently a good friend told me he is getting married - he told me by e-mail and I'm glad he did, because I think it is a big mistake for him to be getting married right now, and if he had told me in person, I likely would have told him, that. but by doing iti in an e-mail t gave me a chance to come to terms with it and realize, he wasn't asking me for advice, so I was able to congratulate him properly)

OK, tell me why this is a bad idea

 

[boy-i-wanna-make-u-sweat]

Re: How to come out?

Well I've come out to three people via MSN. It's not the same as email because you've still got that 'live' aspect, but I find it is easier as my fingers never choke up

For me, coming out has become addictive. I dunno, I've never liked attention but maybe that's why. Now I want the attention I missed out on

 

[Centexfarmer]

Hey UC your post was brought to our attention, so I copied your question into a seperete thread in hope that you might get more attention to your question, and more responses.

 

[KaraBulut]

Coming out to family is something that you should do individually with each member of your family- not via a mass email.

The entire conversation may not happen in one event. There have been a few people here who wrote a letter to a parent or family member when they were planning on seeing them in person shortly thereafter. The important thing is that is should be a conversation and you should be ready to listen to what they have to say, too.

 

[G-Lexington]

For people you're not that close to, for those you don't contact all that often, especially those who live far away, an e-mail is fine.

For people who are close to you, who share your life on a regular basis, a mass e-mail is awfully impersonal. It's like getting a "you're special" greeting card addressed to "Occupant".

If you don't think you can handle it face-to-face, or over the phone, that's understandable. A better method, though, would be a written letter. And WRITTEN - not printed out from MS Word. This shows you were thinking specifically of this particular person when you wrote it. If you MUST do it by e-mail, write a specific one for each person. Don't blind copy everyone you know, or cut'n'paste from a master copy. Address each person in turn as individuals, so they can feel that they ARE important in your life.

Lex

 

[GayJerseyGuy]

I came out to my friends, as well as my brother and sister-in-law via email. I didn't think I would be able to express my feelings in person as well as I was able to via an email. I have no regrets. I did however tell my mom and dad in person.

I say if you are more comfortable telling friends and family in an email, then go for it. Do what works best for you. However, realize that after the "send" button is pushed, you need to recognize that you will have to talk about it in person with all of these people at some point.

Again, I did it this way and am glad I did. Go for it...and let us know how it worked out for you!

 

[Jo-thin]

I came out to one person on texting! The guy I like and he totally excepted me! Like hes thugish wigger and he supports me!
BUt I think when it comes to family I think it should be inperson...... I know thats hard but you probably want to see and hear their reaction ya know

 

[Maecenus]

Hm. I'm away for the summer from college - I go to an out of state university - and I can't decide if I should wait until I get back or just start telling people over IM or something that I'm curious. Gahh!

 

[maxpowr9]

Initially, I came out to my close friends and family in person. Now, alot of the time ill just do it over AIM. Most people will realize after being around me for a month that im gay anyways without even telling them. People like the verification though.

 

[Tizinsane]

I've thought about telling some people in an email or on IM. I'm still trying to decide if I should do it that way or not.

 

[DonDon]

Many cultures have certain rituals and rites of passage that young people go through. In many of these cultures these rituals are supported by the family and/or community the young person is part of. Coming out is one of those rituals. It is one of the hardest things we have to go through and is made even more difficult because at the beginning many have to go through it alone. Only when we are certain that we are gay (or bi in some cases) and okay with that fact are we then able to tell others. But because of our society even asking for help in these early stages can seem really hard for a person.

The good thing is that once we are okay with ourselves and we tell a few friends, we then have more of a support group to draw on and we can use that combined strength to carry on through the rest of the coming out process.

I personally believe that coming out face to face with the important people in your life is a vital part of that ritual and while doing the easy thing and coming out in text or email may seem to lighten the load at the time, in the long run you will feel you have accomplished much more by doing it face to face. At the end of the day you may end up at the same place regardless of how you do it, but life is about gaining experiences and knowledge. And once you come out to your family and friends face to face, everything else in life gets so much easier because you know, deep in your heart, that you can pretty much do anything.

Having said that, close friends and relatives who are far away from you can be told by phone and those in your outer circles can easily be told by email. I'm not saying this is the only way to do it nor am I saying that if you didn't do this you were doing it wrong. I'm just saying, this is how I see it.

I didn't have people to turn to for advice and I had to do everything from coming out, to my first date, my first gay sexual experience and pretty much everything else totally on my own. I didn't handle everything in the best way but I got through it. I told my two closest friends who I knew had the biggest mouths and let them tell everyone else I knew. I then just had to wait for them to come to me. And boy, did they ever. Not as brave as approaching people but it was still face to face. Looking back I wish I had just gone up to each of them and said, "hey, I'm gay. Just so ya know." LOL!