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Appearance Issues

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bigjon4life

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Hey everybody! I am a 19 year old male that weighs a good 193 pounds. I am straight but curious and this really bothers me. It doesn't bother me that I am curious, it bothers me because I find myself unattractive. I mean why would a guy be interested in me when no girl has ever dated me (I have never had a girlfriend)? I am very self-conscious when it comes to appearances and being in college, it doesn't help. Everywhere I look there are very toned guys walking around in underwear (this provides some good stories to masturbate to but it doesn't help my situation).

My main two issues with dating a girl or even trying something out with a guy are my "puffy" nipples and my small penis. I don't know what it is but my nipples jut out and they are very noticeable and I am nervous taking my shirt off in public. Also, I don't want to get into a great relationship only to have her leave me because of my small member. I've had many sleepless nights contemplating that I will be a virgin forever because I am too shy to make any advances.

I occasionally joke around with my friends about my ugliness and it is all in good fun but somedays it just hits home and I feel bad about myself. Can anyone give me some confidence tips that I can use? Tanks!
 
I found this thread on here that describes me almost perfectly.

"My best friend just told me that a friend of ours is confused about his sexuality. He honestly thinks he has "gay tendencies", but still is attracted to girls. He worries too much about being gay, and since he watches mostly gay porn, he now gets hard only to gay porn. He is also worried about when he wants to have sex with a girl, he wont get hard because he watched so much gay porn.

He still gets that shy, and nervous feeling when he likes a girl, and wants to ask her out. So I think he is bi-curious. He dosen't think about having a relationship with a guy, or as a partner, but more so a sexual experience is what he thinks about."
 
Well if you weight and appearance really bother you that much then do something about it! Hit the gym, go on a run, etc...

Don't worry about the size if your penis either. Not everyone has a whopper and you'll find someone who will like you more then the size of your penis.
 
There are a lot of people who use imperfections as excuses as to why they can't do something in their life.

It's a convenient excuse to say, "I'm fat. No one could ever love me" or "I'm not attractive, they'll never hire someone like me for the job" or "I have small dick, so no one could ever be happy with me".

You anticipate outcomes before they happen. These imperfections become excuses for not even trying.

The solution is simple- if you don't like something about yourself change it.

But when you do, you will remove the excuse. And you're going to have to confront the underlying insecurity.
 
Your Future Girlfriend/Boyfriend Scenario 1:
"Yeah, 3 years ago, my boyfriend was worried about not being toned and he also thought he had a small penis, so he lay awake in bed, night after night, worrying about it, thinking no one would ever find him attractive. But I love a guy who worries. That was SOOO HOTTT. I saw him around campus and I just knew he was agonizing over his appearance. I'd think of him lying in bed with that worried look on his face. I'd fantasize that he would be so worried that he'd look like he was about to barf. Night after night, just lying there, obsessing over his nipples and his penis, and I knew then that and I just had to ask him out."

Your Future Girlfriend/Boyfriend Scenario 2:
"Yeah, 3 years ago, my boyfriend was worried about not being toned. Can you believe it? He must have hit the gym right after this picture was taken because look at him now. I know! And the things he can do with his tongue are incredible. He rocks my world in bed. I want to be with him forever."

Pick which one you want to date!
 
It seems to me there are two separate issues here. One is your uncertainty about whether you're gay, straight, or bi. The other is your concern about your looks. Also your shyness. So I guess that makes three issues.

Let's take the looks first. Do I really need to post about 100 links to Xtube showing guys who weigh way more than 193 having hot animal sex -- sometimes with skinny guys? Or guys with small penises ditto?

So what about the "which am I" issue? Is it really that important to put a label on yourself? If you're bisexual, you shouldn't be surprised if you're attracted to guys for a while, then girls for a while. You should just go with the flow, at least until you're ready to settle down.

That leaves the shyness, which I think is the real issue. The best advice I can give you here is not to put pressure on yourself. Figure out some way to make friends, non-sexual type. Look for people who have the same interests as you, people you can talk to. It won't be too long before the possibility of sex will come up one way or the other. But don't make that the only priority or you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
 
Yikes! If 193 is causing you grief about yourself, you'd have jumped off a bridge long ago at my weight.

The previous post hits it. Your issue is shyness. Just make some friends and worry about fucking later. You still have your hands, right?
 
Overweight guys get laid.
Guys with "puffy nipples" get laid.
Guys with small peni get laid.
By men and/or women, depending on who they like.

Confidence tips? I have only one.

Like yourself. Love yourself. Love your 193-lb, small-dicked, puffy-nippled body. Love being attracted to both guys and girls (now). Love who you are, what you look like, what you do. Make yourself the most kick-ass bj4l you can be. Because the more you like you, the more other people will like you.

Lex
 
^Easier said than done, of course.

Personally, I'm not so into flat nipples haha! So I think that might be a plus...at least with a lot of guys.

I am extremely shy about taking my shirt off in public, and it's not about having a body I don't like or anything, it's just uncomfortable!

I recommend working out, running, walking or anything. Take steps two at a time. When you work out, you get a natural high and you will feel better, even when you don't notice results right away. It's about the chemicals in your body!:)

AND- this helped me the most:

EVERYONE, EVERY SINGLE PERSON, has issues with themselves, and their looks. Nobody, even those hot guys with their shirts off are completely loving themselves. Keep that in mind, and let someone fall in love with YOU, YOUR PERSONALITY. Because nothing else matters. I have never planned on being with someone who is extremely hott unless that person has a great heart and is very smart :) Nothing matters more, even if that's what you might see sometimes...

Hope that helps
 
^ agreeee completely. All the looks stuff..psh, it was what i looked for when i was an immature little kid/teen. Just turned 20 and.. none of that matters at all. At all. When i look for a mate I look for someone who has a great sense of humor, can keep my attention, and if thats there i am attracted to them. doesn't take a big penis to please me, thats all superficial stuff society tells us whats hot and whats not. we are more alike to others than we think. Cheer up, feeling like this, your just gonna keep from finding anyone. ever here, can't love anyone till you love yourself? Find that boy!
 
For what it's worth I have a huge crush on a guy who matches your description perfectly. Weight, age, height, nipples. A lot of people just care more about personality.
 
You can definitely work on your body image, it just all depends on how much hard work you want to put in. The first step is to join and gym, start weight training and doing some cardio.
 
Many women actually like a guy to have a smaller penis because it's more comfortable for them to take. Large ones can be quite painful for them, and since a great many women do not orgasm without stimulation of the clitoris, how much they have crammed up their hoo-hoo doesn't have anything to do with whether or not they get off.

It's very easy viewing internet porn to get a skewed view about your own equipment when there seems to be so many men who are packing serious heat. And as far as you not thinking you're attractive enough, guess what? Some of the world's most amazing looking people are just as insecure about their own looks.

If you don't like how your body looks, then as others said, work on changing it. But as Lex pointed out, there is always going to be someone fatter, uglier and dumber than you who is in a relationship or is getting some. So, unless you're a troll of epic proportions, you're probably making a big stink about a little poo.

And even trolls get lucky.
 
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