Argh! Sick of Gay's discriminating against us Bisexuals!

[Romantico]

Argh! I am so pissed! I am trying to have a friendly civil debate with some gay friends on bisexuals. They just can not get past the fact that ALL BISEXUALS CHEAT! Seems like everyone of them has a bad bisexual story. "well, I had a friend who dated a guy who was bisexual and he ended up leaving him to back to his ex-girlfriend" Because of that ALL buisexuals are bad. Another friend said "He dated a guy who was bisexual and then decided that he wanted a family so wanted to start dating women". I could not win if my life depended on it. Sad thing is I am running out of friends but I asked them all, why do you want me as a friend if you think "My Kind" is that bad? They seem to think I will come around.

You see, they think I am just 'not ready'to come out yet and this is how I am dealing with it. Never mind that I am attracted to women the same as I am attracted to men. Its like, if they can not imagine it that it can not be.I also pointed out that one of my gay friends that told me the story about how he dated a bisexual, I also told him I remember his ex-boyfriend Danny. Danny was gay and the two dated for almost three years til Danny left my friend for a younger twink. I asked him how Danny got off his shit list but the bisexual didn't. I then said its cheaters, not bisexuals who you guys have problems with. Its just that Bisexuals are much easier targets. No one said anything.

Yeah, there are some bad bisexuals. There are also bad homosexuals and heterosexuals as well. I hate labeling people. Thats whats destroying our culture, in my opinion. These 'friends'of mine are ONLY friends with me because they all assume I will eventually come around and go 100% gay! Ironic that the gay community discriminates against a group over sexual orientation, isn't it? Okay, end of rant.....for now!

 

[gotdimples77]

I noticed this among some of my gay friends too. I'm gay, I have known gay guys who have slept with women too but dont consider themselves bi. I dunno, but the general consensus is that a bi-guy will always leave you for a woman. I think that is the issue, not so much that he cheats...but eventually he will be compelled to leave you for a woman. I guess with a gay guy there is some hope of satisfying him because you are both guys...but with a bi-guy..you can only satisfy half his urges or something...

 

[switchboyad]

I second that...Go ahead mate!

Are you really a romantico dude?

 

[Romantico]

Depends who you ask (wink)

I think my major problem is I identify with gays more than heterosexuals. I am a loud advocate for gay rights, gay marriage, and am always outraged when I hear of any gay bashing. I have fought for gay rights and every year for 3 years now take part in a AIDS walk for charity and awareness. I don;t feel I need to prove myself, but I am a strong advocate in the gay community. Its hard not to feel like I am being pissed on by my gay brothers and sisters. Its like, the straight peopel look down at me and some gays do now. It sucks being discriminated by one group of people but two? Its way too much!

 

[cosmicblue]

Think it is all about the Trusting or the lack of it with many Bisexuals...I personaly don't have problem with dating a Bisexual guy... But i agree that far to many gays do discriminate Bisexuals and as you point out there are both good/bad Gays/Straights and Bi so we share some of the sme traits... but hey we are human after all...

 

[Piquechampion]

I agree that it's wrong to be biased against all bisexuals. However, there are some bisexual men who only want sex from other men. There are more than a few on this board. These guys need to be upfront with other men about their preference for women. BTW, it's not only gay guys who avoid this type of bisexual man. I'm bisexual, and I'd never become intimate with this type of guy either. I could possibly be friends with them, but sex with them is completely out of the question. They'll have to get their rocks off elsewhere.

Me too, I love them as friends... but something else, mmm... not

On the other hand, I´ll probably end up like that, with a woman, closeted and cheating on her ass

 

[kayman23]

I agree that it's wrong to be biased against all bisexuals. However, there are some bisexual men who only want sex from other men. There are more than a few on this board. These guys need to be upfront with other men about their preference for women. BTW, it's not only gay guys who avoid this type of bisexual man. I'm bisexual, and I'd never become intimate with this type of guy either. I could possibly be friends with them, but sex with them is completely out of the question. They'll have to get their rocks off elsewhere.

Ok, I'm lost? "There are some bisexuals that only want sex from other men", and you would avoid them? I'm lost what do you mean by that? What is wrong with those types of bisexual men exactly unless one were promiscuous, which I could understand?

 

[lifeisamazing]

Dude, let me explain something - from someone who agrees with "Bisexuals Cheat"

The reason we say that, is every bisexual I have known, and its something around 40ish here....they've all cheated! Every single one of them...however, my best friend Addie, she proclaims shes Bi, but she's too deicated to her man, to go girl.

Look, the main reason MOST Gay's dislike Bi's is the fact, that they see Bisexualty as a front, a ploy, something that isn't real. I knew too many men who said they were bi and ended up being gay, and I haven't known many men who said they were Bi and then went back to being straight. To me, if a guy says he's Bi, it means hes gay and needs to grow enough balls to come out of the closet. Because they fear society will out cast them, religion will turn their back, they will be banished into hell, they'll be rejected from their family and friends - their lives will be over!

Not the truth! People let others decide things for them, by the media, religion, family, friends, and forced moral values - you know what, we live in a world where Gay Pride can be expressed openly and freely, and many straight people join in on the fun! We are not in a Holocaust, where if we come out, our days our numbered! Please, I want to see everyone to stop living in fear and lies, when you come out or just face whatever truth it is...it is a liberation a freedom! It's scary at first, I can tell you, not one guy on this forum, was scared at one point when coming out to someone!

Okay, so with that stated, you ask, there are guys who are attracted to both - Sure! I am attracted to Women all the time, but it doesn't mean I wanna fuck them. Being attracted by look and being attracted by sex are two different things, yes I am attracted to countless women and they make me drool - but I would never fuck them, cause I am gay. Nor, would I use that reason of attraction to defend my sexuality, I am proud of who I am, and if You can't be proud of who you are.....then who the fuck are you then?

I refuse to live my life into a lie, where I am trying to be someone I am not, I refuse to let religion and old fashioned family morals rule my destiny, humanity has moved on...and so should those who are hiding. I have been out since I was 14...openly out! Yes, I got critism for being gay, but who hasn't? The only thing is, I stood up for myself. I am not gonna come out and let people walk all over me...I don't do that, nor should anyone. If anyone had a problem about me being gay, I confronted them, and I never threw a punch in my life to defend myself - cause I don't create violence from abuse. People tried to kick my ass, convert me back, hell I even had a priest talk me back to God and say god would not be pleased.

I threw that priest out of my house, cause my relationship with God or any other higher power I chose to serve, is my relationship! Like, if you're scared of what happens after this life, that is a question in which you need to ask God....not you and your friend...you and your priest.....you need that question to be raw and ready to be filled with an answer!

Look, I respect anyone, and I don't dislike Bisexuals, I just don't agree with them. But several of them are some of my greatest friends, and you know what, Sexuality should not have to tear us apart anymore. I am sick of it! Sexuality is something inside of us, and we should not express it in order to make sure our life goes in the direction society as set forth for us to go, it needs to go in a direction were we want it to go - but when I know a man (or a woman) who is hiding their real truth behind a banner of lies, I will expose them, cause you always feel that you have a dark secret inside of you, a dark mark upon your soul - erase the dark mark! Live your life without restricition, live your life with freedom, as this country tells us to do.

Stop hating. Start respecting. Stop Lying. Start Living.



(thats my two cents)

 

[TriBi]

lifeisamazing...you haven't been taking lessons from someone who has been barred forem the Bisex Forum , have you?

It is the sort of attitude that you are displaying that was the catalyst for the Bisexual Forum to be created in the "No Flame" area.

*SIGH*
There are enough bigots in the straight world - it would be nice if certain people in the GLBT community would recognise the "B" part of that...(and realise that the "B" stands for "Bi", just in case that needs clarification.

 

[lifeisamazing]

Well I stand by what I say.

 

[miamicoach]

Alright, I've decided to rush in where angels fear to tread.

Labeling all bisexual men cheaters or closet cases or other negative epithets is bogus. Just meaningless.

If you want a monogamous, lifelong relationship, look for someone who also wants that and has the courage to make it work. It doesn't matter how he identifies his physical and emotional attractions.

If you don't want the lifetime commitment, make it clear upfront.

But let me tell, gay, straight, bi, ambiguous, (I don't really get "curious") it's about having the fortitude to decide the right relationship.

And anyone who thinks that because someone identifies as bisexual, they are a cheater or a hater by definition, has a lot of learning to do.

I think being openly bisexual takes a lot of courage and I hate to seeing that silenced.

 

[SuperQueer]

i think it's hard to put myself into the shoes of a bi-sexual. so please take make comments with a grain of salt.

but when thinking about the subject of if they all cheat - i find it hard to understand that a bisexual could apply themself as a fully active bisexual (having a relations/sex with men and women at the same time) and still remain monogamous to one sexual partner, unless they made a commitment to be gay or straight at that particular time.

i'm not advocating monogomy for bi-sexuals. i just think if i were bi-sexual, it would be big problem not cheating on my lover - if i desired to have sex with both men and women on a regular basis. understanding that there may be bi-sexuals that truely want a woman and then a man...and so on (people who like it that way). as long as everyone involved are ok with it - i think that would be an ideal framework to satisfy a bi-sexuals sexual/companionship needs.

am i thinking like someone from another planet? or am i painting a picture that most can see clearly? this is a difficult subject for me to understand.

 

[ctrust]

It's just jealously. You see, gay men resent that there are men who, like them, are attracted other men, but at the same time are attracted to women...and therefore can have a socially acceptable relationship as well, and can potentially settle down and be have that picture perfect life...with a wife, kids, grandkids, etc.

LOL! I don't know if jealousy is the right word because I doubt most gay men want or wish to be bisexual. And let's be real, it's not likely for a bisexual person to be open about their orientation when they decide to settle down and have kids with the opposite sex. How many openly bi moms or dads does anyone know? I'm guessing bisexuals would have to go back in the closet if they want to get married to the opposite sex and start a family. They same way many closeted gay men and women have done, so they can have the so-called "picture perfect life". So what's there to be jealous about?

 

[Romantico]

This all comes back to a story I tell people about my friend Josh. My friend Josh is gay and I love him like a brother. He has stood by me when others haven't & he is a sweetheart! Having said that, Josh can also be mega bitchy which has cost him alot of relationships in the past.

Josh met a guy named Tim who he knew was bisexual before he even began dating him. The two dated for about 7 months and even in the early stages we all knew it wasn;t going to last. Josh LOVES drama, attention, and is a male diva. We kid and say he makes Richard Simmonds look butch. Well, Tim broke up with Josh and Josh made a big deal that Tim was a typical Bisexual. Now, Tim did not dump Josh for another woman or anyone else. Tim would rather be alone and single than with my friend Josh.

Fast forward a few months later. Josh meets a gay guy named Randy. Randy is really cool and we all think this relationship might actually work. Well, they dated for almost a year before Randy broke up with Josh. Randy dumped Josh for a younger guy who was also gay.

What pisses me off is this. Josh CONSTANTLY tells people about how all these bisexual myths that aren't true. He then goes into his personal experience with a bisexual because faterall he date done. Randy cheats on Josh and gets a free pass. Tim dumps Josh and he is labeled as some kind of cheater.

The bottom line is Cheaters come in all shapes, sizes, genders, and yes, even sexual orientations. Bisexuals are easy targets. If a bisexual cheats he is scum. If a fellow homo cheats he gets a free pass. Cardnal gay rule #1, don't attack another gay when theres a fresh bisexual just waiting to be dis-dredited!

 

[kayman23]

Yes, some bisexuals can commit to monogamous relationships with either a woman or a man. If you're a bisexual (like me) who's in a monogamous relationship with another guy, then it's a homosexual relationship. However, my orientation remains bisexual. That means I'm attracted to both men and women. It also means that if my relationship ever ended with my boyfriend, I could move on to another guy or a woman. Actually I've been with alot more women than men. Believe it or not, not all bisexuals need to have sex with both men and women simultaneously. LOL.

I have to agree, Westwood blues.

However, there are some who do need both at the same time. I think they're called "fluid" bisexuals. Perhaps one of them can explain it better. Obviously, I'm not one of them. I'm not one of those guys that considers sex to be the most important part of a relationship either. A healthy relationship with another person involves alot more than sex although the sex can be awesome. You'd be surprised to see how a person can improve in bed if you just stick with that one person for a while. I just think I'm a little different from most guys to start with. You'll need to get between my ears (in my mind) before you get between my legs. LOL. And this is exactly how I "reel in" potential partners, male or female.

I am a fluid bisexual. My sexual attractions bounce from men to women from time to time. I remember breaking up with an ex-girlfriend of mine and within a couple of weeks later I found myself attracted to male friend. It is very confusing because right now I'm leaning towards men but a couple of months from now I could find myself pining after women again.

 

[RicanDAB]

It's just jealously. You see, gay men resent that there are men who, like them, are attracted other men, but at the same time are attracted to women...and therefore can have a socially acceptable relationship as well, and can potentially settle down and be have that picture perfect life...with a wife, kids, grandkids, etc.

Thanks for the laugh ...

I'm perfectly happy being a gay man, and I've dated men and women and gone through my own bisexualism. I still acknowledge the sexual beauty of women and do get turned on by some women even today - but I know that it's just that - sexual attraction. I can have sex with women whenever I want and I choose not to because for me it's not just about sex anymore. My ultimate happiness with sex and a relationship as one package will certainly be with a man - hence, I am GAY.

Whoever said a life with wife and kids, etc. is the picture perfect life? Settling down with the love of your life irrespective of gender and going forward in life together is what I call picture perfect. I don't live my life to conform to social acceptability anymore. Life's too short for that. I live my life to conform to my own happiness.

When I touted myself as bisexual years ago, gay men used to run away like I had the plague. Now I understand why and I've become one of them now. I don't need a partner that's gonna wake up one day and start whining that he misses pussy. I belong with an all-dick man .

So me, jealous of bisexuals? NOT!!

BTW, Lifeisamazing - great post I'm with ya.

 

[probeteam1]

Thanks for the laugh ...

I'm perfectly happy being a gay man, and I've dated men and women and gone through my own bisexualism. I still acknowledge the sexual beauty of women and do get turned on by some women even today - but I know that it's just that - sexual attraction. I can have sex with women whenever I want and I choose not to because for me it's not just about sex anymore. My ultimate happiness with sex and a relationship as one package will certainly be with a man - hence, I am GAY.

What?

Whoever said a life with wife and kids, etc. is the picture perfect life? Settling down with the love of your life irrespective of gender and going forward in life together is what I call picture perfect. I don't live my life to conform to social acceptability anymore. Life's too short for that. I live my life to conform to my own happiness.

And good for you.

When I touted myself as bisexual years ago, gay men used to run away like I had the plague. Now I understand why and I've become one of them now. I don't need a partner that's gonna wake up one day and start whining that he misses pussy. I belong with an all-dick man .

So me, jealous of bisexuals? NOT!!

BTW, Lifeisamazing - great post I'm with ya.

I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand. You claim sexual attraction to both sexes (which is a good fifty-cent definition of "bisexual" in my book) and yet you call yourself gay.
You used to identify as bi, and gay men discriminated.
Now you identify as gay, and remarkably, the gay guys stoop discriminating, and now you get to join in the discrimination against other bi guys.

I respect the courage of your choices and the authenticity of your position, but this looks to me almost like stepping out of one closet and into another.

Even setting that aside, can you honestly say that your own experience applies to everyone? I can't say that mine does.

 

[lifeisamazing]

Look, all of you take the offensive all the time and play the victim! I was not downgrading BiSexuals at all, I do not discriminate! Out of all the things in my life, I am not discriminative! Here is a tiny phillsophy on what I said:

Its like Praying to God and Satan....eventually you have to choose a side! Deep down in your hearts you know which side you want, and which person you want more than the other, so just stop lying and come out! Cause Harvard did a study over 10 years, where they proved BiSexuality in Men is nearly impossible!

 

[slnattak]

I hate stereotypical straight boy-ish all masculine community that judges your sense of worth by how hard you throw a football and I hate the overly-feminized gay communities with bitchy queens that just sit and watch movies and pat themselves on the pack for fitting every stereotype under the sun and causing normal people to hate me even more when I'm nothing like them. I hate bears, twinks, and daddies because it's just a cartoon cartiacture there's nothing actually innately homoerotic about it. I'm having such a hard time finding REAL homoeroticsm these days.

I feel like I don't belong anywhere sometimes, and that's sad. All I know is I love dick. I find most gay men and people with non-straight sexual orientations to have WAAAY too many social disorders (I include myself in that list btw). They don't know how to seduce people at all, it's really funny. They just hate themselves, play victim, and talk in a whiny nasaly voice and expect other people to find them sexy. (which they clearly don't because we have absolutely no charisma just a fake sense of put on ness) They eroticze straight men too much without finding their own sexuality. What is so hot about sucking a guy with a baseball cap on that doesn't show any passion at all and just sits there like a log? Fuck that shit. If I am with a straight or bisexual guy that dude better spit on me, throat fuck me, call me a little whore, rub my face all over his ass, and give me a few manly bruises. I'm serious. It's time to stop all this gay pussy-footing around just be REAL. Not play a role, a fake role that DOESN'T EXIST. STOP ACTING. BE REAL. But in today's society being 'gay' is still considered some how less than being straight. How can a gay man NOT have a complex or piss you off so goddamn much you just want to gay bash him? I can only pray for a better world and try to change things I guess.

I don't think it's all our fault. I'm not blaming anybody, I just think we live in a homophobic society and this is the price we pay for it. We still can't 'be ourselves' yet in many places and not everybody wants to go to stupid California.

So anyway yes the only thing I have against 'bi' guys is that you guys fit a role too much just like every non-straight person.

 

[Romantico]

Life is amazing, considering how you feel towards us why even post in the Bisexual thread? Your not one and you come here and insult us. EXCUSE ME? You choose over God or Satan? Are you for real?

No offesne, but your a JERK! (No Offense!) You have zero idea of what your talking about. You have no idea how we think or how our sexuals desires work. No, its not about picking a side. Dumb jerks like you see the world as black and white only! Iys people like you that make it hard for all of us! You are no different than a homophobe. You don't understand soemthing therefore it must be wrong because YOU DON'T GET IT!

My advice to you is to post somewhere else. You have no business posting or even reading our threads. You don;t understand is and know NOTHING of what your talking about. All you do is stir the pot and disrupt! ARGH! Its people like you is why I opened this thread!