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ARTICLE: "My Experience Falling For A Straight Guy And What It Taught Me"

M

MrMojoRisin

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I always thought that once high school ended, these heartbreaking crushes on straight guys would end as well. But I was wrong. My most recent experience came a few years ago. I had just ended a six month long period of back and forth with a guy I went on a couple of dates with. The good news is, we've stayed friends. The bad news is, it wasn't the right time for either of us to be together.

I was online one day and came across a video of this musician on YouTube. We'll call him Mike. Mike was singing and playing guitar in some parts of the video. In other parts of the video, he was giving an interview. I was immediately struck by his good looks. I was also struck by his apparent shyness and introverted nature. Despite his quiet demeanor, he was so talented as a singer and musician. I also developed an admiration for his songwriting skills.
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MORE:

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/falling-for-straight-guys
 
That is one experience I have never had. I find it fascinating that it's said to be so common with gay men. Are gay men "imprinting" on straight men to acquire their Avatar (by which I mean, their Final Fantasy Guy)? Imagine that the role model is the guy who used to taunt you at school, or, in some peoples' cases, perpetrate violence upon them. A disturbing Catch-22.
 
mcbrion said:
That is one experience I have never had. I find it fascinating that it's said to be so common with gay men. Are gay men "imprinting" on straight men to acquire their Avatar (by which I mean, their Final Fantasy Guy)? Imagine that the role model is the guy who used to taunt you at school, or, in some peoples' cases, perpetrate violence upon them. A disturbing Catch-22.
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Yeah, or maybe it's as simple as gay men like men and most of them are straight.
 
I think it's more than that. I'm not even sure that McBrion is talking about gay men being attracted to straight men but rather about this particular variant where a person invests a ton into trying to groom a relationship with a straight man.

I think it's a little understandable because in-lieu of actual dating experience gay men probably had to rely on media a bit more. And think about it, dating in media tends to be more sensationalized, entertaining, so there does tend to be a lot of unnecessary and largely ineffective, in the real world, complexity involved in winning the affections of the love interest. So like, yeah, part of it is being attracted to a majority that is not interested, straight men, but it's also the lack of more grounded romancing examples.
 
TX-Beau said:
Yeah, or maybe it's as simple as gay men like men and most of them are straight.
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There's a considerable stretch from "liking men" to 1), meeting the straight ones (who may hate you, or not like gay people, but that hardly seems to be a consideration for most men who profess their "Love" for a straight man, 2), trying to lure them into your net, and 3), then professing to "falling in love" with them. Besides, which, "falling in love" is frequently a euphemism for "I desire them." They're not even close to being the same thing.

And what's the motivation for going after someone who is (mostly) not available. That's self-defeating behavior, which is why these posts show up so often. Guys sabotaging themselves. I understand it, but it's still not healthy. So, just because most men around you are straight, you don't simply try to bed them, you THINK you've fallen in love with them? The Road to Hell... But you know something? That's how some people have to learn, so...might as well learn the lesson the painful way, since painful experiences frequently help a person evolve more than good experiences.
 
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