Asking bi-married/bi-ex-married guys...

[Atzesp]

Hey, guys.

This thread came up due to some situations that happened and I thought it was too much of a coincidence for me... On the last two months, at least 5 friends of mine, married to women, told me they were divorcing because they had found a guy and were having feelings for them. Suddenly, they were all giving up their straight life in order to have a gay life - with a formal relationship and all that.

And then I wonder: have any of you already gone through this? Or intended to do so? If you have gone, or intended, which were the reasons? What made the whole thing so... attractive, in order to change completely your life? Was it worthy?

 

[dman9924]

I am bi and divorced. I may be an exception in that I was never interested in leaving my wife for a man. I was pretty happy in the marriage. However, being bi, I think made it hard to establish the deep intimate connection required for a lasting marriage. I take half the blame. At any rate, she left me for another man.

 

[bijockdude]

Hey, guys.

This thread came up due to some situations that happened and I thought it was too much of a coincidence for me... On the last two months, at least 5 friends of mine, married to women, told me they were divorcing because they had found a guy and were having feelings for them. Suddenly, they were all giving up their straight life in order to have a gay life - with a formal relationship and all that.

And then I wonder: have any of you already gone through this? Or intended to do so? If you have gone, or intended, which were the reasons? What made the whole thing so... attractive, in order to change completely your life? Was it worthy?

First off; were these first experiences with the guys? If so I presume that these guys had tendencies but felt forced to do the "right" thing and get married to a woman. Please don't take this as an insult or a prejudice however; I am aware of a machoismo pressure in the Latin culture with men to marry and procreate with a woman; due to the influence of social media and the internet could these five men have finally found outlets for their true passions?

It is a huge step to divorce a woman then commit to a man so there after without really having time to explore if that is really a lifestyle that suits them moving forward. I would love to understand a bit about the "partners" that these five have totally changed their life for today.

 

[Atzesp]

First off; were these first experiences with the guys?
(...)
I would love to understand a bit about the "partners" that these five have totally changed their life for today.

Well, my friend, in fact no - these were not first experiences. In fact, all of them had been leading a double life for quite some time, although it was nothing definitive, with only one guy. All of them had already gone out with many guys - some, lots of guys... But, since I know each one of them, I heard (more than one time) that "they'd never give up being married in order to be with a man". And they were comfortable with that, none of them had had crisis or guilty about doing this.

That's why I wonder about the subject. Apart from judgments about their behavior, the point I'd like to understand is more or less same as yours: what about the "partners" made these guys change their lives? What was so intense in order to perform such a major change?

And of course, I'd like any jubber to tell us his experience - if he has gone through the same thing.

 

[neditesjamais]

Interesting question and very complicated answers. As usual. I would say that there is a very complex web of "moments" involved in all of these situations and those "moments" happen for different people at very different rates, not to mention in different orders. Here's my list of "moments"--maybe others can identify their experience by saying what order they occured in.

--recognizing an attraction--of some sort--to both males and females
--recognizing a strong attraction to one or more specific individuals (maybe at the same time, maybe not)
--recognizing such a strong attraction to one individual that there's some reason to formalize it
--recognizing that a choice you've made is no longer the best choice
--unformalizing a relationship
--establishing a relationship with a different individual

Here's the order for me:
I was married, happily at first, less happily later, and very, very unhappily (on everyone's part) for far too long. Then I was pretty happily separated for quite a long while, during which time I had a close but purely platonic relationship with a bisexual woman. Finally, I was very, very happily divorced. For quite a while I was very, very happily independent and not interested in anything of any gender or species. And recently, I have figured out that there was something else there in terms of my attraction to men for a very long time, but it wasn't very obvious and it wasn't very urgent. But now it is.

I'm really glad I have only had confusing and mildly disconcerting relationships one at a time. Maybe I'm just lazy?

ned

 

[BINOWGAYLATER]

not interested in anything of any gender or species

well, glad to hear the sheep are safe!

but seriously ----

here's the short version.
very attracted to me -- as in (as a teenager PLAYBOY did NOTHING for me)
dated chicks in high school - found some good kissers -- felt some boobs - they were all 'good girls" and didn't fuck or suck.

found THE girl -- Got married (okay - society pressures, idk) -but i was really in love -- did the husband "duties" -- liked it - still liked thinking about men .
still married - still get off to men -- horribly faithful to my "vows" - would never jeopardize my marriage for a "roll in the hay" with the hottest guy. - too late now.

can i still call it having sex if I'm the only person in the room?

 

[Telstra]

Hey, guys.

This thread came up due to some situations that happened and I thought it was too much of a coincidence for me... On the last two months, at least 5 friends of mine, married to women, told me they were divorcing because they had found a guy and were having feelings for them. Suddenly, they were all giving up their straight life in order to have a gay life - with a formal relationship and all that.

And then I wonder: have any of you already gone through this? Or intended to do so? If you have gone, or intended, which were the reasons? What made the whole thing so... attractive, in order to change completely your life? Was it worthy?

Interesting topic. Divorcing a wife and marrying a man.
I would like to hear more of that.

I have no experience of marrying anyone.

 

[Telstra]

not interested in anything of any gender or species

well, glad to hear the sheep are safe!

but seriously ----

here's the short version.
very attracted to me -- as in (as a teenager PLAYBOY did NOTHING for me)
dated chicks in high school - found some good kissers -- felt some boobs - they were all 'good girls" and didn't fuck or suck.

found THE girl -- Got married (okay - society pressures, idk) -but i was really in love -- did the husband "duties" -- liked it - still liked thinking about men .
still married - still get off to men -- horribly faithful to my "vows" - would never jeopardize my marriage for a "roll in the hay" with the hottest guy. - too late now.

can i still call it having sex if I'm the only person in the room?

So your situation is your wife no nothing about your secrets ?
Human are smart. Wouldn't she noticing a tiny bit of your secrets ?

 

[Atzesp]

can i still call it having sex if I'm the only person in the room?

According to our master philosopher Woody Allen, masturbating is having sex with the person you love the most.

 

[bangthisbi]

I'm divorced but never thought about leaving her for a man or woman while I was married.

 

[palemale]

According to our master philosopher Woody Allen, masturbating is having sex with the person you love the most.

Rodney Dangerfield once said, "of course I was terrified the first time I had sex, I was alone."

I believe what Woody said, in the movie Annie Hall, was "what's wrong with masturbation? At least it's sex with someone I love."

 

[jmadaf]

i was only cock curios, but the wife would give limited sex and gay men I got involved with would give all I wanted, I'm still married but I find myself wanting more cock than pussy. When I do fuck my wife I fantasize fucking a guy I'm hot for. It's getting to the point if I don't do this I can't cumm with her. Am I turing more gay than st.