At the gay bar........

[SilverRRCloud]

If you are not looking back and are plainly ignoring the dude, he ought to be getting the message loud and clear.

Some guys believe that they should keep on trying till you cave in and since many dudes do that, they feel confirmed in their faith.

I'd stop short of going over to the dude and telling him, do not follow me, I ain't interested... that's kinda a lame, and he can always insist, he was not following you, so what the hella are you talking about.

So, yeah, show interest in this other guy and leave the dense dude behind.

SC

 

[Riverrick]

If he isn't getting the nonverbal messages, then just tell him plainly and clearly. After all, you are trying to communicate an idea with him. Why be uncertain whether he understood you correctly.

I think its good for us to feel our own feelings, whether it be joy and happiness or pain and hurt. Why should anyone take those away from us? Good luck!

 

[looseliam]

I've done the following:

Tell him you're there with your boyfriend
Tell him you're there with your girlfriend

 

[M4P]

Or just be honest and politely say you are flattered but you're either seeing or interested in someone else. I think politeness is key here because you could be the person who is being told the object of your desire isn't interested

I was always flattered when someone showed interest in me

 

[maxxximum]

have you actually told him you werent interested? if not, do it politely. otherwise, talk to him and start pointing out hot guys and tell him what you want to do to them. best of luck.

 

[jockboy01]

Well, if at a gay bar with music it is easy... go dance with the guy you like. The other one will get the message. If no music, just talk to the guy you like about whatever and don't pay attention to the other one. I agree that sometimes they think you'll cave b/c many guys do. BUt just continue what you're doing and you should be fine.

 

[spikethecat]

I got a question? How do you let a guy know that you are not interested in him without hurting his feelings. I was at a gay bar recently and he just kept following me around. I wish I had feelings for him, but I am concentrating on another guy. Should I tell the guy that I really want about this situation? Do you think it might help him to make up his mind about me?

its gonna hurt his feelings. just dont be brutal about it. say something nice about him then use that word ....."BUT"

As in "I think your a nice guy, BUT you are not my type."

Try not to do it within earshot of a bunch of people so he has the opportunity to slink off in a corner and lick his wounds until he finds a different "Mr. Wonderful". You have to help him by keeping your distance also. Even if you feel bad for it. Dont be a jerk, just dont leave much wiggle room.

(lol..I said wiggle)

 

[jockboy01]

hmmm, from the little info you've given, I think I agree that he's kind of in the closet... but not totally. But there isn't a lot to go on about this guy... except he pointed out girls at a gay bar and that he seemed jealous. Based on those two things, I think your assessment is accurate.

I would say tell him how you feel. But maybe test the waters a bit. Ask him what he thinks of a particular guy rather than saying what you think of them. And then maybe just ask him if he wants to go to dinner... that could be harmless but it should get your point across. That's my thoughts. I don't think you will scare him off unless you just say you want to jump his bones, then he might run like a rabbit (or he might agree, but it's much riskier... stick with dinner)

 

[Riverrick]

Hey Guys,
I want to add to what I started. The guy at the bar is sooo hot. I would be grateful to be his, but I am waiting for this other guy. The guy I want pointed out some girls that he liked to me, which was fine. I am pretty sure that he is in the closet. It did not bother me too much. I think I might have went over board a bit and I told him about the guy at the bar. I saw some jealousy in him and felt kind of bad. He shouldn't get jealous if he isn't gay like he says. He doesn't really know how I feel about him. Should I tell him that I have feelings or would that scare him to stay deeper in the closet?

Hmmn....Are you sure you want to wade into that stream? A guy who has to act straight even at a gay bar? I'm just warning you, he seems to have some issues.

I vote to tell him how you feel. I don't think you'll scare him away. I think he wants to hear that. And if he does act scared for a few days, he'll eventually come around because he'll be so intrigued. And flattered. Good luck!