Attitudes towards the super-obese

[Fallen1984]

I'm watching a program on TLC (The Learning Channel for those abroad) about four people from the UK and the US who are what doctors would call the "super-obese" . . . 400-700 pounds or so.

I'm curious what your reactions are to people with this affliction. (And please remember that this is a no-flame zone).

I feel such incredible compassion and maitri towards them.....I've personally dealt with weight issues my entire life . . . at the height of it a few years ago I was near 300 pounds and have since worked my way down to 200 (I'm 6'1 btw), and for my build, my doctor tells me that I am now completely healthy and well within range for my height (even if, by the almighty chart I am still "overweight"). But it was such a long, lonely path, and I know first hand how cruel people can be re: weight.

I've come to embrace the fact that I'm simply built like a football player. I'll never be one of the skinny folk that dominate the mainstream, TV, movies, porn, etc etc, but I'm perfectly happy being the stocky and fairly muscular man that I am now.

But I see these sorts of documentaries, and I so feel for those who are "super morbidly obese." I'm tempted myself to say the usual, "Well why eat so much," or "They did it to themselves," but in my heart I know so much better. And I'm really not sure if someone who has grown up blissfully lithe and "fit" can understand.

So I'm curious what others feel about this issue.

 

[secondmonkey]

I don't feel sorry for them one bit. Not even a tiny tiny little bit. It may be very common to say "they did it to themselves", and that is because that is an absolute fact. If they stop shoveling food into their fat face they will cease to be fat. Simple physics. Yes, it can be hard. Life is hard. Get over it. I've been fat too. I had very few friends in school and I still have some very serious body image issues. But I also realized I can choose not to be fat. And that's what I did, I lost about 100lbs. It wasn't that hard.

If you're fat, and you don't like it - get off your ass and do something about it! Until then quit your whining.

 

[luminum]

Personally, it's a mystery to me how they got to that point. I'm not them, I don't know them, so I'll probably never know how they got to be so heavy and so it becomes inconsequential to me.

I feel pity a lot of the time, because I know when you get to a certain degree of obesity, things like dieting and exercise can become almost physically impossible or unhelpful. So arguments like "stop eating so much" or "get out and exercise" don't really apply anymore...or at least not now. I would probably recommend some kind of fat removal procedure first, so that the person is able to support their own weight and then a steady diet and gradually increasing exercise.

And sometimes, there's a thyroid problem (though many have over-claimed this, to the detriment of those with the actual condition) and while medication are available, not everyone can afford them.

The important thing is that the person makes an attempt to reach a healthier standard of living. There's nothing wrong with being a few pounds (10 - 30, maybe) overweight, but when your obesity and lifestyle are jeopardizing your health, then something needs to change.

Even peopel who are 20 - 40 pounds overweight from fat can usually do something small to boost their fitness a bit, like taking a walk, or getting some exercise or eating a bit more healthily. It's amazing how a little change can do a lot. And regular exercise is good for you beyond just being a weight loss method.

So if a person is super obese, I give them the benefit of the doubt for how they got that way, but there's little excuse for doing nothing to improve one's health if possible.

 

[oz_doc]

Thyroid problem or not you need huge calorific intake to put on that much weight. I think I know the show you mean and if so a number of these people have not left ther bed in many years, this brings up a point rarely raised, when they die their career should be charged with manslaughter, if they cant get their food then someone brings it to them and it contributes to their death directly.

 

[secondmonkey]

when they die their career should be charged with manslaughter, if they cant get their food then someone brings it to them and it contributes to their death directly.

I agree.

It doesn't matter what condition or disease you have. There is no excuse for being 400+ pounds. Overweight, yes. Morbidly obese, no way. If you don't stuff an inhuman amount of calories through your mouth, you cannot be that fat. It's impossible. Feeling sorry for them is like feeling sorry for a stunt man who got hurt doing a stupid and unsafe stunt.

 

[screwnutty]

Wow.

First we pick on the bisexuals, then the bears, twinks, people who are 30 plus years of age, who go to gay bars and stare at younger guys and now fat people. The love never stops on this forum does it! Man.

I love the response "well they can just stop eating" or "they did this to themselves". Well that may be true in some cases but anything can become an addiction. We don't go around making fun of drug addicts, alcohol addicts, sex addicts etc. The stuff that goes on in this forum regarding some of the fights and stuff, makes me glad that I live in a rural area where there are hardly any gay people around. I'm a big guy. Everybody in my family are big people. It's been that way in our family tree since we we left England for Canada in the 18th century. It's in our genes. Maybe with society finally having stomped all over the people who smoke and now have turned there attention to the growing weight problem in America. Maybe in like 10 years there will be no more "fat" people that you have to worry about. Maybe we can all just look alike, act alike, like the same food. Maybe I can conform to your standards.

It just like somebody else said in another post regarding William Shatner. Saying something along the lines of "He was good looking 40 years ago, now he's just to be used as a warning to never let yourself go!" The man is 75 plus years old and looks to be in good shape compared to alot of other 75 year old men. Good god. I hate to tell you "image is everything" guys but life is too short to stay at the gym your whole life and if all you feel is pity or disgust for me. Then fine. But if you'd take the time to know me, the time to look past the husky guy and more into my personality. I think you'd find a guy who could be the best friend you every had. I know all of my friends would agree.

Sorry to rant here but When I was in my 20's, I was alot bigger then I am now. Thankfully they found out that I was suffering from a rare condition and I am now on medication for it. I lost over 125 pounds and found that people who didn't want to date me or get to know me where suddenly very interested in me. You know what I did? I showed them the door. It's better to live alone for the rest of your life then hook up with somebody who only likes you for your looks. Cause looks fad, six packs turning beer tanks and time is like a predator that hunts you down. Though I have to agree with somebody else that Time is more like a friend that follows you on your journey of life and tells you to treasure every moment of it.

 

[psychobandit]

Well said Screwnutty

 

[MindBlast]

If a super-obese person is exercising every day and eating properly, then I feel bad for them that they're still obese. This is extremely rare though.

If the above is not true, then they can cry all they want to me, and I will say "cry more!"

I'm sorry, but if you don't put in the effort, you will NOT see the results. I had issues with being super skinny (to the point of looking like I came out of a concentration camp, no joke), and I finally decided "Hell I'm gonna do something about this!"

Now I eat about 3 times as much as I used to, and I do a lot more physical activity. And guess what, I'm growing! Who woulda thought?

There's nothing wrong with being built like an NFL linebacker. There is something wrong when a person has to go to the doctor's office and get their radius measured instead of their height. If you're starting to turn spherical, chances are you probably won't live too long. How much fun is it trying to struggle to get up the stairs, or be always last when you go for a walk with a group of friends? It's probably not too fun. Just like how I found being unable to lift up a vacuum cleaner no fun. I did something about it, and I worked my ass off! Losing fat is a LOT easier than gaining lean mass.

 

[rotary]

I used to be overweight, 215 lbs at my heaviest (now 155), so I can understand how they feel. However, they have it in them to drop the scale, and need to commit to a major lifestyle change.

I empathize with these people, but I don't feel sorry for them.

 

[evil_danger]

I don't feel sorry for them one bit. Not even a tiny tiny little bit. It may be very common to say "they did it to themselves", and that is because that is an absolute fact. If they stop shoveling food into their fat face they will cease to be fat. Simple physics. Yes, it can be hard. Life is hard. Get over it. I've been fat too. I had very few friends in school and I still have some very serious body image issues. But I also realized I can choose not to be fat. And that's what I did, I lost about 100lbs. It wasn't that hard.

If you're fat, and you don't like it - get off your ass and do something about it! Until then quit your whining.

You are so ignorant it hurts.

Smoking is just as damaging, if not more so because it damages the people around them, but its not being made a big issue.

I cant understand how a person can look at a larger person and can just think "eww, they should stop eating" and other rubbish thoughts like that, there is always more than meets the eye.

I come from a large built family, that’s what I put it down to, I don’t over eat and although I don’t exercise as much as I should I do a lot of walking and I’m on my feet at work. (I’m probably more healthy than other people who are half my size). I look at my grandmother, an active woman who doesn't eat much, she doesn't smoke or drink and she’s on the larger size, but then I look at people I work with who eat junk smoke 20 -30 a day and drink themselves silly and their painfully skinny.

Yes food does come into it and there are those people who are just lazy, but they are few and far between, there is always a story behind things.

 

[3nipples]

Quite frankly I don't think anybody wants to be so fat and saying "it's their own fault" is simply dismissing the problem and it is a problem, one that most obese people have difficulty solving themselves.


What I don't understand is how come the health care system doesn't kick in when a teenager starts to balloon.

 

[secondmonkey]

Alright, all you naysayers - tell me, exactly, how someone can become morbidly obese (400+ pounds) without constantly shoveling a ridiculous amount of food into their face? IT IS NOT POSSIBLE! There are diseases and conditions which make people fat, not morbidly obese. There are no diseases that force people to shove twinkies down their throat by the box.

You do not have to exercise, EVER, and you do not have to eat vegetables to maintain 250 pounds or less for a normal sized person. There is NO excuse what so ever to be 400+ pounds. If you think I'm wrong show me some facts. "cause I come from a big family" is the stupidest excuse ever. My family is all fat too. That's because they're lazy and they like to eat. I'm not fat anymore, because I quit eating so much.

 

[jockboy01]

I think the reality lies somewhere in the middle personally.

Nobody ever decides to intentionally gain weight and become morbidly obese. The just go about their daily lives and eat more calories than they burn in a day. And before you know it, they're stacking on the pounds. Before they know it, they're obese... or morbidly obese.

And then there is the other side, once you're fat, it's that much harder to go to the gym. I mean, you see all of these in shape people that look great. Who wants to start that once they're overweight? I can't say I blame them. I'm so proud of the few fat people I see at my gym b/c I can only imagine how hard it is to make that committment to lose weight.

It ultimately comes down to lifestyle choices. And yes, I did say choices. Nobody intentionally chooses to become fat. But they do choose the lifestyle that leads to that. They choose to go home and watch TV and eat at the end of the day rather than spending a few hours at the gym. Do I think I'm wasting my life away at the gym? No, I do it more to feel good than to look good. The looking good is an added bonus. But I feel so much better after a workout... it's like a natural high.
So my lifestyle leads to me being fit. Others choose a different path... in general the less healthy path... but more as an unintended consequence rather than a conscious choice.

 

[oz_doc]

Alright, all you naysayers - tell me, exactly, how someone can become morbidly obese (400+ pounds) without constantly shoveling a ridiculous amount of food into their face? IT IS NOT POSSIBLE! There are diseases and conditions which make people fat, not morbidly obese. There are no diseases that force people to shove twinkies down their throat by the box.

You do not have to exercise, EVER, and you do not have to eat vegetables to maintain 250 pounds or less for a normal sized person. There is NO excuse what so ever to be 400+ pounds. If you think I'm wrong show me some facts. "cause I come from a big family" is the stupidest excuse ever. My family is all fat too. That's because they're lazy and they like to eat. I'm not fat anymore, because I quit eating so much.

The one condition that comes to mind where ther is consistent permanent often uncontrollable urge to eat is prader willi syndrome. But again we are talking about the incredibly rae exception, not the rule.

Obesity is a balooning epidemic in modern western cultures, this is NOT because of increasing levels of thyroid, hypothalamic or genetic disorders, it is because it is a lifestyle problem, people are eating too much nutrient low calorie rich foods and not doing enough physical activity. One of the most farcical aspects of managing such a patient is that they are often clniically malnourished, their calorific intake is so devoid of actual nutrtional benefits that they have clinical deficincies in key nutritional areas.

love the response "well they can just stop eating" or "they did this to themselves". Well that may be true in some cases but anything can become an addiction. We don't go around making fun of drug addicts, alcohol addicts, sex addicts etc. The stuff that goes on in this forum regarding some of the fights and stuff, makes me glad that I live in a rural area where there are hardly any gay people around. I'm a big guy. Everybody in my family are big people. It's been that way in our family tree since we we left England for Canada in the 18th century. It's in our genes. Maybe with society finally having stomped all over the people who smoke and now have turned there attention to the growing weight problem in America. Maybe in like 10 years there will be no more "fat" people that you have to worry about. Maybe we can all just look alike, act alike, like the same food. Maybe I can conform to your standards.

It just like somebody else said in another post regarding William Shatner. Saying something along the lines of "He was good looking 40 years ago, now he's just to be used as a warning to never let yourself go!" The man is 75 plus years old and looks to be in good shape compared to alot of other 75 year old men. Good god. I hate to tell you "image is everything" guys but life is too short to stay at the gym your whole life and if all you feel is pity or disgust for me. Then fine. But if you'd take the time to know me, the time to look past the husky guy and more into my personality. I think you'd find a guy who could be the best friend you every had. I know all of my friends would agree.

Sorry to rant here but When I was in my 20's, I was alot bigger then I am now. Thankfully they found out that I was suffering from a rare condition and I am now on medication for it. I lost over 125 pounds and found that people who didn't want to date me or get to know me where suddenly very interested in me. You know what I did? I showed them the door. It's better to live alone for the rest of your life then hook up with somebody who only likes you for your looks. Cause looks fad, six packs turning beer tanks and time is like a predator that hunts you down. Though I have to agree with somebody else that Time is more like a friend that follows you on your journey of life and tells you to treasure every moment of it.

To screwnutty, I am not talking about the ten twenty pound overweight patients, I am talking about super morbidly obese patients (BMI over 40). I am not talking about the peopple who dont "stay at the gym the whole time" I am talking about the patients who have not stood up from their bed or chair in years, this is becomingly increasingly common and I have serious ethical issues with spending hundreds of millions of dollars on treatment and surgery for these patients who I believe in most cases are suffering from an illness brought on by a gluttonous sedentary lifestyle. I see so many areas where I think patients are far more deserving of access to healthcare services, we dont give new livers to alcoholics, why should we give gastric bypass and lap banding to food and laziness addicts?? If like you, the patents are commited to improving their health and making required changes then I am more than happy to come to the table and help them in every way possible. What has happened to personal responsibiltiy in our society.

 

[xyzguy]

luminum said "So arguments like 'stop eating so much' or 'get out and exercise' don't really apply anymore...or at least not now."

Deciding to eat a healthy diet or do any form or amount of exercise can NEVER be not helpful no matter what your weight is. That statement is just so.... urgh!

Anyway, I agree with secondmonkey.

 

[Christopher123]

And then there is the other side, once you're fat, it's that much harder to go to the gym. I mean, you see all of these in shape people that look great. Who wants to start that once they're overweight? I can't say I blame them. I'm so proud of the few fat people I see at my gym b/c I can only imagine how hard it is to make that committment to lose weight.

Exactly.

There's one man that's been coming to the gym I go to and when he first walked in there, he was well over 300 pounds. He looked around the place, another guy and I were standing there near him, and he said, "Boys? I know I'm not gonna be pleasant to look at, but I'm tired of being a fat slob, so you're just going to have to deal with it for a while."

I thought that was totally cool and we've been talking ever since and he's down to his 270's now. So he's getting there. And 270-something doesn't sound much for a guy if he's tall and/or big-boned, but he's not much taller than I am and I'm 5'9. He's not only been moving more, he's been eating less. He's watching his calories and only takes in a certain amount every day and he's given up the junk and the fast food and the crap.

It truly is about lifestyle choices. Yes, there are some disorders and illnesses that can cause a person to put on extra weight. But to just eat yourself into oblivion, day after day, knowing you're probably gaining 10 pounds a week, is just crazy. There has to come a point in a person's life when they finally say enough is enough. Like this guy did....

(I'm just posting the article because there are a ton of ads all over this site, so I better not post the link)

Half Ton Man Continues Weight Loss

The Associated Press

By OLGA R. RODRIGUEZ

March 07, 2007

A man who once weighed well over a half ton left his house for the first time in five years Wednesday _ wheeled outside on his bed to greet neighbors and see a mariachi band. 'The sky is beautiful and blue and what I want is to enjoy the sun,' said Manuel Uribe, who had once been certified by doctors as weighing 1,235 pounds. Though still unable to leave his bed, Uribe has lost 395 pounds since he began a high-protein diet a year ago. He now weights about 840 pounds.

To celebrate the milestone, six people pushed Uribe's wheel-equipped iron bed out to the street as a mariachi band played and a crowd gathered. Then, a forklift lifted him onto a truck and the 41-year-old rode through the streets of San Nicolas de los Garza, a Monterrey suburb.

With dozens of reporters and photographers in tow, Uribe traveled along, passing the town's plaza and church and waving at clusters of people eager to get a glimpse of him.

'It fills me with joy to see he's getting better and getting a little sun,' Uribe's neighbor Guadalupe Guerra said. 'I would go crazy if I had to be inside my house for so many years.'

Uribe was a chubby kid and weighed more than 250 pounds as an adolescent. In 1992, he said his weight began ballooning further.

Since the summer of 2002, Uribe has been bedridden, relying on his mother and friends to feed and clean him.

He drew worldwide attention when he pleaded for help on national television in January 2006. Afterward, an Italian and a Spanish doctor both visited and offered gastric bypass surgery.

But Uribe chose to accept help from Mexican nutritionists working with the Zone diet. He says he will stick to that diet until he reaches his goal of 265 pounds.

'My goal is to leave the house on my own but I know that will be a long process,' he said. Doctors say it may take between three and four years for Uribe to reach his goal.

Uribe said he plans to start a foundation to help overweight people get medical assistance and teach them about healthy eating habits.

I think this is absolutely awesome.

 

[Ohiospeedo]

Wow.

First we pick on the bisexuals, then the bears, twinks, people who are 30 plus years of age, who go to gay bars and stare at younger guys and now fat people. The love never stops on this forum does it! Man.

I say we go after the midgets next. Freaky little hands. What is wrong with them, why would they ever come out in public. (And for those of you that are too slow to realize, this is sarcasm.)

 

[screwnutty]

I say we go after the midgets next. Freaky little hands. What is wrong with them, why would they ever come out in public. (And for those of you that are too slow to realize, this is sarcasm.)

Nah it won't be midgets. It would have to be some group of people that some other group of people don't like. Midgets are funny to some people and are very rare to see. I've never seen one. So we need a group. I say after they have destroyed the fat people they'll move on to......oh.....I'll say brown haired people. Cause really. Are brown haired, green eyed people nice to look at? We all know that "master race" is blond hair, blue eyed." (Now this is Sarcasm.... )

 

[luminum]

luminum said "So arguments like 'stop eating so much' or 'get out and exercise' don't really apply anymore...or at least not now."

Deciding to eat a healthy diet or do any form or amount of exercise can NEVER be not helpful no matter what your weight is. That statement is just so.... urgh!

I'm talkign about people whose weight condition is so serious that they cannot move or support their own weight. Doing arm lifts when you're restricted to your bed isn't going to help you in any decent amount of time and it won't get you to the point where you can get up and go for a walk on your own.

People whose weight condition has rendered them sessile need some kind of medical intervention just to get them to the point where they can begin to do some regular full body exercise and where a proper diet will become more beneficial.

No doubt that the effects of minor exercise and dietary balance are major, even when they're small steps and incorporated into a consistant lifestyle change.

However, if we're talking about someone so morbidly obese that they cannot get up and walk or support themselves, then changing their diet and doing such limited and exercise is out of the question.

People who can get up, who are obese, by fully mobile and supported have no excuse for not doing a small walk in the morning, and its effects will be infinitely better for them.

But for others way beyond that point, they need to be brought to a weight at which they can actually start to apply those healthy choices with any effect.