Becoming a slave

[Jory]

I don't know much about the life style but I think it's the term slave that gets a lot of people rattled here

 

[joshz88]

Hey gdude, first of all I will say that you are very smart and reasonable for getting the opinions of others who both support and criticize you before making the decision, and everything I am saying is out of respect to you and wanting to help you out with this tough situation. Now, I don't know you or your life story or anything, but I've read this thread and found it pretty intriguing. I always figured the master/slave thing was just an act for the bedroom that people did for fun like any other role playing, but I've never heard about it in the form of a committed relationship. I have to say though that this sounds completely unhealthy to me. You are forfeiting control over certain parts of your life by becoming a slave to "Sir." I have never heard of anyone living a happy life under the control of someone else beyond the normal control set by parents. It may just be a 3 month trial, but 3 months is enough time to leave you completely damaged. This honestly sounds like a cult. Yea, this "Sir" may allow you to have some time with friends, family, and work, but what about your life outside of those three things? You will be giving up your freedom in your relationship with "Sir" by being his slave. To you and everyone else participating in this thread, have you ever heard of anyone being happy in a relationship where they are in such a vulnerable position where there is absolutely no balance of control? Just like someone had previously said, I was completely put off by the fact that "Sir" has already told you that cannot have sex with anyone else. As you stated, you were a mere observer to the relationship between "Slave" and "Sir," a fly on the wall. Can someone really give an observer such a narrow rule to abide by? How strict will "Sir" become once you are actually his slave? Yea you may create an agreement with him, but as he is in a dominant position and you are in a position where you succumb to all of his rules and orders, he will be in the position of power to ignore the agreement and control your further than you can not even imagine. I'm not saying he will, but he will have the power to do so if he pleases. And I know you think that you do this because you like it and not because you are trying to fill some sort of void or gap in your life, but do you really, I mean really, think that's true? You said yourself that prior to meeting "Sir," you lacked self esteem and motivation. I'm no psychiatrist, but I feel like because "Sir" has taken an interest in you, you are validating yourself through an unhealthy lifestyle and you feel that self esteem now because you feel worthy of being his slave, but I don't think the type of self esteem and self worth you are getting from this is the type that is going to be long lasting. It reminds of all those teenage girls everyone constantly hears about who have sex with multiple guys to feel self worth, when in reality they are letting their vulnerability take advantage of them. and skew their perceptions of reality. You may see that the other "Slave" is happy with his situation with "Sir," but you could be seeing that just because you want to see it that way. Also, from reading your first post in this thread, it does seem like it means a lot to you that your parents have taken notice in the improvements you have made in your lifestyle as far as being more self confident, being more honest with them and improving your image. However, you also say that your parents know that "Sir" and "Slave" exist but do not know the lifestyle they represent. How would your parents feel if they really truly knew the lifestyle they represent and the relationship you are about to embark on? I know your sex life is none of your parents business, but this is not just a sexual lifestyle. It is the lifestyle of your relationship. I'm sure your parents would not have that same approval if they knew the means it took you to make those improvements. It is honestly like using adderall to study hard to get good grades on an exam. Sure you got the high grade, but you still used a drug to get yourself to study and learn. Just as that is an unnatural means of motivation, this master/slave scenario is completely unnatural.

That's just my opinion and advice, do what you will with it.

But most importantly, even if you ignore or disagree with everything I've said above, at least tell your parents the extent of your relationship with "Sir" and tell them what lifestyle he represents and the lifestyle you are about to commit to. There is a very big chance this experience could leave permanent emotional and psychological damage, so you really really need to talk to your parents about this because it seems like their opinion and approval does matter to you as it would to most people, and it seems like they do not know the full magnitude of this.

Good luck with everything though gdude, I hope you make a wise decision and find whatever you are looking for.

 

[Lube]

JoshZ88, your earnestness is admirable, but you don't really have any knowledge of this, as you admit:

I always figured the master/slave thing was just an act for the bedroom that people did for fun like any other role playing, but I've never heard about it in the form of a committed relationship.... I have never heard of anyone living a happy life under the control of someone else beyond the normal control set by parents.

Well, of course you've never heard of anyone living happily under the control of someone else, because you don't know anyone in a voluntary, consensual Master/slave relationship.

 

[Lube]

This is how this thread started off. The very beginning:

Okay so.

Before anyone flames the hell out of me.

Voluntarily slavery. Serving a sir or a dom. Being able to leave any time you want. And doing it because you want to not because it's forced.

Just needed to clear that up since the term "slave" varies for everyone.

 

[gdude30]

Thank you Joshz.

As Lube pointed out. You have never heard of someone being happy in the lifestyle because you don't know the lifestyle and have never really heard of it. But there are many people who have lived this lifestyle and found happiness. And some who haven't. All depends on the people involved. Just like any relationship. It needs work and communication.

Some people might feel, "Oh well cause I'm a sub I shouldn't say anything and let the dom make all the decisions and just take it." That's not true. A slave is a strong person. Not someone who gets pushed around. While it's true the dom makes the final decision. With the slave. There can be no master. And most masters are aware of this. The ones who aren't are the ones who abuse or take advantage of the slaves.

And if Sir ever violated part of the agreements or changed it to some things that I found to be unreasonable. I would talk to Sir about it and ask him what's up because of the agreement we have. And if we could reach an agreement fine. And if we couldn't reach an agreement and it would just result in arguing and fighting then I'd consider finding someone else.

If Sir started acting bossy and took advantage of his current slave or abused him slave would not take that. But this being said Sir doesn't seem like that kind of dom who would do that. But people change and you never know. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I don't really think I'm giving up my freedom.

I don't think this is any way damaging or a cult.

It's just an alternative lifestyle. It is very different then the way others live there life. But in a way it's very much the same.

This portion of training I'd say is different. And if there wasn't a lesson to be learned then it would just be someone who is bossing me around and controlling me. And to a small extent I am being controlled a little. But it's not a bad thing because there is a purpose for it. It's like a test I suppose. I donno what other tests or guidelines there will be. But so far I've done good with the tests. And homework.

I've also met and talked to a lot of masters and slaves. For the most part they all seem fine.

And isn't a cult something that completely takes over your life and you give up your life to do that?

How is this giving up my life.

I still have work, I still live at home, I still practice driving, I still hang out with friends, and I still jack off.

I say I still jack off...because men into the BSDM part of the lifestyle or sometimes master's or Sir's in general believe that a boy or slave's only sex organs are the mouth and ass and that permission is needed to for him to touch himself.

I am glad that Sir doesn't believe in that. Becuase that is something I don't believe in. And that part is more of someone is into humilation. Which Sir and I are not into.

See all the misconceptions that come with these 4 seperate but somewhat joined lifestyles?

And the concept of the lifestyle in general. You think about being a slave as it's a bad thing or think about giving up your freedom or being controlled and you completely miss the point and meaning in it. Yes you might lose a little bit of freedom. Yes you might get controlled a little, and yes you have to respect and answer to someone else.

But there is a purpose for all of this that alot of people can't understand. And because the majority can't understand it..this is why the community for the lifestyle is very small.

And you know what. It only takes about 4 things to be able to understand the lifestyle. And in this day and age. They are 4..traits which are rare in people. Just becuase of how much things are changed.

This is partly why the lifestyle is changing for the worse and why it's hard to find someone who understands it. Because of those 4 things.

Honor, loyalty, acceptance, and responsibility.

Because so many people are dishonest, are not loyal, don't accept others, and don't hold themselves responsible. Well the result is a bunch of misconceptions. To be honest. If you just have those 4 traits. You can understand some of the lifestyle even if you've never heard of it before. Oh I left out respect..that's an important one.

 

[youngnihilist]

If you consent to it, then why not? It's incredibly misguided and stupid in my opinion (giving up your natural freedom to some immature ego driven freak), but live and learn.

 

[rareboy]

^ there is a difference between role playing domination and psychological terrorism.

I'm going to say that a 24/7/365 sir/slave relationship is not healthy and the dominant partner in this set-up likely has some serious mental health issues.

At a point where any person is afraid in a relationship, it is a bad, bad situation. I don't mean the kind of kinky little frisson that gets your adrenalin pumping, but a constant nagging little fearfulness. What you are doing is putting yourself in a constant fight or flight physiological state and this will destroy you after awhile.

 

[Telstra]

this thread is so long and i can't read everything. Just one question for both gdude30 and ivoryy.

Do your parents or family or friends know about your master/slave thing? Do they know where you are when you are with your master?

 

[backpacker]

Please be careful, there are those who will take it further or become obsessed with you.
I just turned 18 a month ago, and fell into being a slave recently, now all moved in with my owner, finding out its not what I thought it would be. My owner/master is I think, 40 yrs old, and has became obsessed with my body, and now has his freinds over to help do things to me. easy to say for me to just ask for help, but I got into it with my own free will, but I did sign a contract, and some things have been done to scare me not to do that. Im in a learning state right now I guess. I have my own room and pc as you know with me being on here. Really not looking for help, but somewhow I got linked to this forum and had to join and respond to this thread.
Did I read it all fully, no.
I really felt like talking more about my issue, but felt it more important to post a be careful post.

What you have described is not healthy and probably dangerous. Don't worry about the contract you signed, it's probably not legally binding. You cannot legally enter into a contract for things that are illegal. Slavery is illegal. Given what you have said, I don't believe any court would uphold the contract. My guess is that the contract is used to try to control you assuming that you don't know that it's not legal. With regard to the threats, those are probably against the law (depending on the nature of the threat). If you say no or stop to any sexual act and they continue, that's illegal. If you haven't already said no to things you don't want to do, please do so. If you feel endangered, then you should file a police report and possibly obtain a restraining order. Once they know that you have filed a police report, they will be far less likely to follow through with any threats. They will be the prime suspects if anything were to happen. Even though the probability they would carry out threats would be reduced, I would recommend that you find a way to leave town for a while. If you don't get out now, things will only get worse. They will keep pushing your limits and will break you down mentally. Get out now! Don't worry about any stuff you have there. You can get a police escort to obtain your stuff. Besides, the stuff can be replaced, you can't.

 

[gdude30]

Wow thanks for giving him that great advice Galt.

Nope. Oh yeah. My parents know where I am when I am with my Sir or Brother. My parents have meet both my Sir and Brother. It seemed to be a bit more than mutual.

I have spent the night at My Sir's house several times as well. Hell one week I was there everynight. And my parents were fine with it. I told them I'd either stay for dinner or spend the night and call the next day.

While they don't know the lifestyle that I am in. They do know that my Sir has been such a great impact on me and a positive influence as well. He is sort of helping me in areas that my parents never could. Such as ettiqute, ironing, how to dress, and just basic things that most are taught but I never was.

They are very grateful for that. They also know that I'm 19 and I am entitled to my privacy. Their main thing is this. They know who I am with. My Sir and Brother who they have both met and hell I was going over there before my parents meet them. I told my parents I was over there and like I said because of my dramatic change and the fact that Sir was a good influence they allowed it.

My Sir has even taken me to school and he helped me study for my finals. Good god that was hard. I might not have been able to do that without Sir.

But back to the topic. Yes they know where I am. They know where my Sir lives and they know I'm safe.

Unlike Ivoryy I have not sold my soul nor did I get into something just because an older guy liked me. It took a while before we all talked about it and then eventually I signed the contract and became My Sir's slave in training. And yes the contract can't be held in court. They'd laugh at it. As I said in the other thread it's not the validity of the contract. It's the symbolism of it. And if it's done for right reasons and both want it then it's a good thing

And believe me Ivorry. I've dealt with freaks and psychopaths before. And yes some who were obsessed with me and to the extent threatened me. And someone doesn't have to be a dom to be a freak.

As I said before. What you are doing isn't what the "Master/slave" lifestyle is about. It's BDSM which is a sex and scenes.

It's not good if you are afraid as well. The only reason I used to be afraid was if I could actually be a good slave or fit in the lifestyle. I have never been afraid of my Sir nor my slave brother.

I appreciate your honesty for admitting you want to talk about your issue. While I feel bad that you have gotten yourself into the situation as drastic and serious Galt's point was. He is right. But no one can make that choice for you but you.

If you say you aren't looking for help then you wouldn't have posted what you said and you wouldn't have said, "my issue".

But anyways. If you want to truly ask for help then tons of people on JUB will be willing to help you as Galt has already shown.

But you have to show in the initiative first.