Being a virgin for too long

[TomahawkEagle]

A newspaper article talks about US teens losing their virginity at a young age.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21956421-401,00.html

In retrospect, is it bad to remain a virgin for too long? I'm not interested in doing it just for the sake of it. Some of my straight friends are still virgins and they are older than me. But would it be bad psychologically to still be a virgin in your late 20s?

 

[JetSetJake]

I think there are *potentially* many psychological effects of being a virgin in your late 20s or indeed later: such as the constant questions "am I missing out?"; "what will a guy think of me if I don't know what I'm doing?"; "will anybody ever want me if they haven't before?" etc . But at the end of the day, it boils down to the kind of person you are and whether you let such things affect you.

Speaking as a virgin of the same age as you, personally I waiver from one side of the fence to the other - sometimes I think it doesn't matter that I'm a virgin, sometimes I think about the above questions too much.

On the other hand, there are probably an equal number of psychological effects regarding losing your virginity at a much younger age.

It's six of one and half a dozen of the other IMHO lol

Toodles

 

[wildhog]

I think there are *potentially* many psychological effects of being a virgin in your late 20s or indeed later: such as the constant questions "am I missing out?"; "what will a guy think of me if I don't know what I'm doing?"; "will anybody ever want me if they haven't before?" etc . But at the end of the day, it boils down to the kind of person you are and whether you let such things affect you.

Speaking as a virgin of the same age as you, personally I waiver from one side of the fence to the other - sometimes I think it doesn't matter that I'm a virgin, sometimes I think about the above questions too much.

On the other hand, there are probably an equal number of psychological effects regarding losing your virginity at a much younger age.

It's six of one and half a dozen of the other IMHO lol

Toodles

dude, you are a good writer. your point of view on the subject was very well articulated.

 

[Overated]

I am 19 and a virgin and i am happy for it to be that way. I have always wanted to lose it with the right guy. Just haven't met him yet.



Even though nothing is perfect i just want it like that.

 

[thermodynamics]

I am 19 and a virgin and i am happy for it to be that way. I have always wanted to lose it with the right guy. Just haven't met him yet.



Even though nothing is perfect i just want it like that.

I'm 22, and am in the same boat as you.

 

[weasley]

ummmm, i think people these days are still giving it away easily... I think it worth the wait for someone special, at least special at the moment lol.

 

[lifeisamazing]

i didn't lost my virginity til i was 18. And the person only needed to say was "teens are more depressed than ever, and are looking for acceptance - SEX!"

you can back that up with so much research.

 

[Luminox]

Heh, I'm a virgin too, I'm 18...Most of my friends and classmates, the vast majority at least, ar no longer. Yes I do worry about it and yes I feel out of place and kinda embarrassed about it BUT : I;m not a virgin because I want to, I just haven't met the right guy. When I do I won't hesitate for long !

 

[Eternaldarkness]

do not be embarrassed about your virginity at all! hello! the people that need to be embarrassed are those who lost theirs because they want to fit in.

To me, you should do nothing in life to try to fit in. It is always better to have other people trying to copy you than rather copying them. Its just pathetic that they have to think that losing their virginity as fast as possible is the only way.

If you're that desperate, go hump a tree or something to get it over with.

Virginity or not is not that important. The idea of having sex for the first time is. Years ago yes, if you lose your virginity you were considered as unclean, sinful, bad...etc. You get killed for doing so or treated badly, then yes, virginity was important.

Now in todays society, virginity should no longer be something you hate yourself over. If you've lost yours, so what, the world doesn't end yet.

If you still have yours..so what.. if you haven't met the right guy, you just have to wait until you do. Don't think of it like losing an arm or a leg. Its more in the mind. Its like giving away a special thing of yourself. Don't blame yourself for waiting too long... you want to make it special then wait.

Like I said, if you're too desperate then go mound yourself on something and then get over it.

Just wait for the right guy..lower your high expectations if you will and be more open to accept them into your life. That doesn't mean grabbing the next guy you see comming through the door, though.

 

[enderwiggen]

I am not too worried about losing mine. It will happen when it is supposed to. I am just very keen that the person is the right person, and that I am very sure about losing it. Seeing as how I "classify" myself as being a straight/Bi hybrid [neither but somewhere in the middle], it will probably be after marriage seeing as my mate will probably be female [I am quite religious].

But, I am in no hurry. I am not a very sexual being by nature. This probably is a direct result of having low hormone levels throughout puberty [I am not a doctor however, and this is just my guess]. But, who cares. I am happy right now, and in no hurry to get in a relationship serious enough to have sex.

 

[luminum]

So you have sex, lose your virginity and then what? Suddenly you're cured of all your neuroses? I doubt it.

When you ask if being a virgin for too long can have psychological effects, it's very basic yes. Yes, it can. And so can everything else. Anything that effects the way you see yourself can have psychological effects. Losing a videogame can have psychological effects on someone, but not everyone suffers from low self esteem because they got beaten at Mario Cart.

It depends on how important the concept is to the person in particular. If being a virgin is the apex of your life, being one may effect you adversely. But for others, who just choose not to have sex until they find the right person, being a virgin means little tot hem in terms of psychology.

Don't let being a vrigin blow up into something more than it is.

 

[TomahawkEagle]

I was thinking about the psychological effects of being a virgin at my age. Jacking off isn't healthy if you do it too often. The same goes for watching porn while wanking.

So far that's the only experience I've had since high school. I did fool around with my mates in high school who btw all turned out straight.

And yes I haven't met anyone yet so that's another problem.

 

[JetSetJake]

Thanks Wildhog for the compliment - I try to express myself as best I can lol

Cheers too for reading and taking time to write

 

[Comrad]

I would have no idea. I lost my virginity at 13, i don't know if i was an easily bloomer, or if something just ignited in me but i HAD to have sex. I really have to give props to the guys that were able to hold back, at lest you have control of your self. But it also makes me wonder, was this by choice ?

 

[VICTORIADON]

Someone care to define "virgin?"
If you masturbate to orgasm, if someone else masturbates you to orgasm, if you give oral to someone, if someone gives oral to you, if you have anal sex...well, define it, in your mind, after all a female has a hymen, last time I checked a gay guy doesn't.

 

[drhladnjak]

First of all, I adamantly believe that the concept of virginity does not really apply to gay men. Virginity as a term was coined in the days when women were property transfered from one owner (their father) to the next (their husband) as a way of describing women who were not "used goods" where used means penis in vagina intercourse. None of that really applies to us as gay men, so I'd just as soon leave that baggage for the straights.

That said, a lot of people make a big deal out of their first time. Waiting for Mr. Perfect is more likely to result in a disappointing experience, largely because it's easy to set your expectations too high in that situation. That doesn't mean you should rush out and find the first willing guy either though. Have fun, be safe and accept your first sexual experience for what it is--the first in a line of what will hopefully be many experiences, not the end all, be all of your sexual history. Find somebody you like and trust, then take it from there.

I was in my mid 20s by the time I first had sex. Part of me wishes I hadn't waited so long, but in the end everything worked out. I'm certainly glad I didn't wait any longer because being my age and inexperienced was bothering me greatly at the time. Starting to get that experience was the right thing for me to do at that time because it helped me move on with my life. No, it didn't solve all my problems but it did allow me to focus on other, more important ones.

 

[TomahawkEagle]

Someone care to define "virgin?"
If you masturbate to orgasm, if someone else masturbates you to orgasm, if you give oral to someone, if someone gives oral to you, if you have anal sex...well, define it, in your mind, after all a female has a hymen, last time I checked a gay guy doesn't.

By "virgin" I mean actually having sex with someone. I've touched and been touched by other guys before but that was basically it.

I'm not sure about blowjobs and how that counts towards "virginity" because I would never like getting sucked.

 

[drhladnjak]

By "virgin" I mean actually having sex with someone. I've touched and been touched by other guys before but that was basically it.

I'm not sure about blowjobs and how that counts towards "virginity" because I would never like getting sucked.

Never like getting sucked, eh? Don't knock something until you've tried it. There are very, very few men in this world who don't enjoy being on the receiving end of a good blowjob. Unlike Bill Clinton, I do believe that oral sex is sex--hence the name "oral sex".

 

[SexyGuy]

I am 19 and a virgin and i am happy for it to be that way. I have always wanted to lose it with the right guy. Just haven't met him yet.



Even though nothing is perfect i just want it like that.

I'm in the same boat with you. I want my first time to be special, with my life partner...

But you have to remember this: no one dies a virgin. In the end, life screws us all.

 

[Comrad]

I'm in the same boat with you. I want my first time to be special, with my life partner...

How family ABC prime time, cheesy, Sesame Street (after mid night), my momma told me so, happy go lucky, old school Britney Spers (We all know that shit changed) is that shit. A question to all who said there happy with being a virgin. Have you guys ever had the opportunity to actually sleep with another human being before ?