being friends with a downlow guy is weird

[fabulouslyghetto]

I'm as organic and honest as they come, the truth just spills out of me but when your best friend is DL you have to lie, a lot. He's a Gangster Disciple so in a sense the stakes are even higher for him than they would be for Joe Notagangbanger. He has 4 kids from 2 different women and a new girlfriend every week so the average idiot can't clock him. Even his lisp which I personally could hear from a mile away isn't really noticed by the general population.

But we're inseparable so questions and rumors happen regularly. On an average day, if we aren't hanging out, we just got through hanging out or are about to, people looking for him ask me before they'll ask his baby mothers. He's played off the gossip as "This is my best friend and I don't care what people think" which I used to applaud except it's all big sham, he's just as gay as I am. But with few exceptions I don't out people, least of all my bestie.

"Is he gay?"

"What?! Him??!! No. Noooo. No he's not gay. Nah. Nope. Nuh uh. I think I would know if my best friend was gay!"

Not wanting to be dishonest I'm perfecting the art of semantics, the American politician non-answer answer.

"Whether or not he is gay you would have to ask him." or "I personally haven't ever seen him with another man." I worried that people might catch on that I'm avoiding a direct answer but this actually works. Maybe I should run for Congress? Anyway it's strange to be irked by the fact that two guys can't have a close relationship without assumptions being made, then again in this case the assumptions are right so.... And if enough people ask about his sexuality can he really be classified as DL?

When he's inebriated (and we're alone) he crosses the platonic line and invites himself into my personal space but i don't take him seriously. Downlow dudes aren't gay enough to know how to fleet properly and everybody knows most of em are bottoms, alpha male in the streets, dick-hungry sub the sheets. As a rule of thumb DL guys are off limits to me, a lot of them were abused and are deeply conflicted about their sexuality, I always thought men who took advantage of that are predators.

 

[eddielee]

So, if he were outed, his entire World would come crashing down? He is lucky to have you as an understanding friend. Many people would judge him harshly for not coming out.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

So, if he were outed, his entire World would come crashing down? He is lucky to have you as an understanding friend. Many people would judge him harshly for not coming out.

I don't know all the details about gang life, I've always wanted a future that doesn't involve prison or an early grave so I never bothered learning about that culture, I go out of my way to tune him out if another gang member is around and they start talking about that stuff, but I imagine the repercussions could be pretty harsh. Mind you, I judge him harshly in my mind-- he's a coward a slave to public opinion but I wouldn't ever tell him that unless he makes me really really really mad.

 

[Alistair]

Aren’t you putting yourself in a dangerous spot? Being around gang bangers, what if one takes a disliking for you and comes back later and rapes and kills you for being gay. I’m pretty sure you’re obvious with being gay.

I’m not knowledgeable about the gang scene and maybe I watch too much Law and Order and SVU, CSI 123 and 4, The Closer, Major Crimes…….But it is a common theme.

 

[USEDCAR]

The gang life is way too dangerous one little hiccup and someone can kill you whether it's one of the gang members or rival gang. What if you and the gang members are chilling and the police breaks down the door and arrest them for a crime ​including you for being a bystander?

This guy is a DL in a gang has tons of baby mommas and a past that you know nothing about. He sounds like true drama i would distance my self away from him and his gang. I feel like this is a plot for a movie.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Aren’t you putting yourself in a dangerous spot? Being around gang bangers, what if one takes a disliking for you and comes back later and rapes and kills you for being gay. I’m pretty sure you’re obvious with being gay.

I’m not knowledgeable about the gang scene and maybe I watch too much Law and Order and SVU, CSI 123 and 4, The Closer, Major Crimes…….But it is a common theme.

I'm a gay black man from Chicago, if I wanted to flee from danger I'd have moved to Canada 20 years ago. And not to split hairs (and certainly not to exalt myself above anyone) I'm openly gay but not obviously gay. The kween stuff is just a fun forum persona, in real life I'm kinda plain and boring, traditionally "masculine" whatever that means. People can't clock me based on clothes or mannerisms, however I do say stuff like "Damn he looks like he's got a huge dick." Maybe the fact that my aesthetic gayness is pretty tame makes me easier to digest? I've only been gay-shamed a handful of times, mostly by people who are jealous of our closeness.

PS: you totally gave me an idea for a new show. people reacting to gay stuff i say. my social circle is all straight guys (gay friends = conflict of interest just like a straight guy having female friends or vice versa). It's pretty common for me to be chillin with a group then outta nowhere I'll make a comment about a hot guy and everybody acts shocked like maybe they forgot I was gay- I guess I say things you'd typically expect to hear from a campy fem.

Also: can somebody put on some coffee? Kween Fab had way too much gin last night and also this morning.

 

[Latimer]

Stay away. You could get caught in the crossfire. Why endanger yourself? It's not as if you have to move out of your house as some people do in neighborhoods consumed by gang-related violence. My partner's legal secretary would duck whenever she passed in front a window at night in her south central LA house in order to avoid a stray bullet until she had had enough and moved to Pomona.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Stay away. You could get caught in the crossfire. Why endanger yourself? It's not as if you have to move out of your house as some people do in neighborhoods consumed by gang-related violence. My partner's legal secretary would duck whenever she passed in front a window at night in her south central LA house in order to avoid a stray bullet until she had had enough and moved to Pomona.

Believe me you, I do avoid anything gang-related and whenever other gang members are around I'm quick to let em know "I don't bang i only have friends that do." my demographic doesn't make it to this age (36) on accident, it actually takes a lot of concerted effort. i definitely know when to distance myself from him, it's kind of a running joke between us that we'll be hanging out and as soon as he gets around the wrong element or i'm not feeling the vibe he will blink and i've disappeared. i can only tolerate so many shenanigans.

we're very protective of each other though, both have gotten into scrapes on the other's behalf-- but my traditional role is diplomacy, no fighting unless it's self defense. true story we're at the park minding our business and this drunk at a nearby table tries engaging me in convo, i brushed him off as politely as possible but dude comes over to our table and flicks his cigarette in my face. long story short my friend beat him up in an alley and i ran his pockets until a small puddle appeared on his crotch and started spreading. wasn't even worth it, got a cheap ass phone and ONE dollar. felt bad afterwards cuz i went through his texts and dude was going THROUGH IT, sleeping in his car, baby mama problems and now getting beat up (technically by some phags) and pissing his pants.

 

[backagain]

How do you know that your friend is on the DL? You have never slept with him nor have you given an example of where you suspected that he has slept with another man.
I have slept with married men unknowingly, so I know what to look for in DL men. I avoid them.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

How do you know that your friend is on the DL? You have never slept with him nor have you given an example of where you suspected that he has slept with another man.
I have slept with married men unknowingly, so I know what to look for in DL men. I avoid them.

Not that I needed confirmation because my gaydar is calibrated daily, I KNOW MY PEOPLE, but he admitted to having "a thing for trannies." But there was too much evidence I was gonna convict him based on:

1. Being SUPER friendly with every fairy and trans on every side of town. Theres being open-minded, and then there's every gay person we run into knows you and loooooooves you. :-/

2. DUH checked his browsing history on his phone and saw trans vids. Doesn't everybody violate their friends' privacy like this?

3. Cindy Brady lisp.

4. Domestic violence. I wont explain unless someone asks, but its literally a science. Put 10 downlow men in a room, I betcha 8 of em have at least one DV charge on their record, or at least strong contempt for women. My best friend has beaten every girlfriend he's had since I met him. Only reason i respect him is he's not a behindcloseddoors beater like most guys, he'll beat em up at their job in front of their boss and tell everybody he did it and why (not that there's ever justification)

5. there's brotherhood and then there's bromances-- he has a roommate who is also (technically unconfirmed) downlow, his roommate tries almost daily to sneak off with him sans their girlfriends, one time dude came into my best friend's room wearing nothing but a bed sheet wrapped around his body. Like in movies after sex scenes when women cover their bodies, I have never seen a straight grown man do that.

6. Sagging. Self explanatory.

7. Guilt by association. Once you confirm one downlow dude they fall like dominoes. You notice groups of guys that all have these traits in common, birds of a feather baby... so I know my friend is DL that puts most of the men in his social circle on the suspect list. Especially the ones that like to wrestle or dap him up and hug him tight when he's got no shirt on. I dont care how many baby mamas and girlfriends these dudes got I can clock em from a mile away bl8ndfolded facing the opposite direction.

More than enough evidence even if his confession were inadmissable.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Almost forgot the biggest tell. Long hair, my bestie regularly grows and locks his hair. Downlow men LOVE having long hair. Be tossin and flippin more than Beyonce.