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Being Gay Isnt A Choice For Me
- Thread starter J-23
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M
MRMATTX2
Guest
Being gay isn't a choice for any of us. Period.
I can understand why people can't understand that, but I don't understand why they continue to argue the matter. It just doesn't make sense, why would people CHOOSE to be gay, especially in a society like this.
Ignorance is a frustrating thing.
I can understand why people can't understand that, but I don't understand why they continue to argue the matter. It just doesn't make sense, why would people CHOOSE to be gay, especially in a society like this.
Ignorance is a frustrating thing.
I had a similar conversation with a friend and the way the question was phrased implied that she thought it was a choice. I ended up pissed off for half the week. I just don't get it, if you can't explain to me why you like the opposite sex how do expect me to explain it to you.
I think a lot of these feelings these people are talking about are fleeting for them, not constant. Like I might be curious what sex is like with a girl, but I could never love them. They assume that those little thoughts that creep up on them and disappear are experienced the same way by all. They don't think that we have those thoughts, some of us, but its just the opposite.
I think a lot of these feelings these people are talking about are fleeting for them, not constant. Like I might be curious what sex is like with a girl, but I could never love them. They assume that those little thoughts that creep up on them and disappear are experienced the same way by all. They don't think that we have those thoughts, some of us, but its just the opposite.
dkonfrost
This is for you Shaun!
Being gay isn't a choice for any of us. Period.
I can understand why people can't understand that, but I don't understand why they continue to argue the matter. It just doesn't make sense, why would people CHOOSE to be gay, especially in a society like this.
Ignorance is a frustrating thing.
Took the words right outta my mouth (well, my fingers)! it wasn't a choice then, it isn't a choice now, and it never will be
dunno260
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There is a strong enough counterculture movement in our society and many societies to the point that if it was a choice I think some people would chose to be gay, if it was a choice.
I don't ever recall being presented a choice. But I think my life right now would be a lot easier if I could be straight.
I don't ever recall being presented a choice
. But I think my life right now would be a lot easier if I could be straight.
The ONLY choice that I made was to stop living a LIE!
I chose to stop living my life the way everyone else wanted, or society expected me to.
That's the only choice that I made!
Why would I chose to live a life where narrow minded idiots like your coworker could make assumptions and assertions about it?
Why would I chose a life where I risk being disowned by my family and friends, possible loss of employment and social opportunities, because the oppressive alternative would be to live a lie?
I chose to no longer be oppressed by my fear, and I chose to live my life the way my heart and soul sees fit, and not under the guise of someone else to satisfy some dipshits view of what "normal" is.
I'm sure that there's nothing wrong with Travis that a fat cock in his ass wouldn't take care of.
Share what we've written with him, and see what he thinks!
Good Luck!
Honestly, I would immediately end all contact with him, and if he continues to want to persue an other than professional relationship with you, I would consider filing a sexual harrasment claim with H.R.
(Disclaimer: Come back here first before you do that! I've done it before, and there are consequences to be considered!
)
I chose to stop living my life the way everyone else wanted, or society expected me to.
That's the only choice that I made!
Why would I chose to live a life where narrow minded idiots like your coworker could make assumptions and assertions about it?
Why would I chose a life where I risk being disowned by my family and friends, possible loss of employment and social opportunities, because the oppressive alternative would be to live a lie?
I chose to no longer be oppressed by my fear, and I chose to live my life the way my heart and soul sees fit, and not under the guise of someone else to satisfy some dipshits view of what "normal" is.
I'm sure that there's nothing wrong with Travis that a fat cock in his ass wouldn't take care of.
Share what we've written with him, and see what he thinks!
Good Luck!
Honestly, I would immediately end all contact with him, and if he continues to want to persue an other than professional relationship with you, I would consider filing a sexual harrasment claim with H.R.
(Disclaimer: Come back here first before you do that! I've done it before, and there are consequences to be considered!
)
Runewell
Sex God
NEWS FLASH: It is not a choice!!!!!
Just tell him to get the hell out of your face. (I know you can't do this at work, but what an asshole! )
God, I hate that "you don't have to act on your feelings" bullshit!!! I bet he'd screw the first girl he could get his grubby hands on!!! That is the stupidest thing any homophobe could say. I'd rather he just be totally against gays, instead of this half-assed "don't act on it" shit.
Tell him to "resist his feelings" to fuck a girl for a while and see how far he gets. Sometimes people are just too ignorant. Can't they see that it works the same way?
Just tell him to get the hell out of your face. (I know you can't do this at work, but what an asshole! )
God, I hate that "you don't have to act on your feelings" bullshit!!! I bet he'd screw the first girl he could get his grubby hands on!!! That is the stupidest thing any homophobe could say. I'd rather he just be totally against gays, instead of this half-assed "don't act on it" shit.
Tell him to "resist his feelings" to fuck a girl for a while and see how far he gets. Sometimes people are just too ignorant. Can't they see that it works the same way?
halubtsi
Optimist Eternal
Interesting thread. Is being gay a choice? Well, it all depends on what your definition of gay happens to be.
To me, a guy who is sexually attracted to men is gay, regardless of whether or not you act on those feelings.
There are some (ie. the Catholic Church) that believe that someone can be "same-sex attracted" but only become "gay" if they act on that sexual attraction and identify themselves as such. It's a silly notion, imo, but it's like this: If I like skiing, but have never skied before in my life, I can't be called a skiier. That's the "rationale" behind the 'same-sex attracted' label vs being labelled gay.
In short, Travis is telling you that you chose to be gay, but his definition of gay may not be the same as yours. I never chose to be attracted to men, but I did choose to stop hiding and being ashamed of that part of me.
To me, a guy who is sexually attracted to men is gay, regardless of whether or not you act on those feelings.
There are some (ie. the Catholic Church) that believe that someone can be "same-sex attracted" but only become "gay" if they act on that sexual attraction and identify themselves as such. It's a silly notion, imo, but it's like this: If I like skiing, but have never skied before in my life, I can't be called a skiier. That's the "rationale" behind the 'same-sex attracted' label vs being labelled gay.
In short, Travis is telling you that you chose to be gay, but his definition of gay may not be the same as yours. I never chose to be attracted to men, but I did choose to stop hiding and being ashamed of that part of me.
puka-pride
AsThMaTIc NiNja
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my ex said it was a choice for him to be bi.. that he woke up one day and decided he would like guys... i'm pretty sure what he meant is that he decided to act on his feelings for men but whatever....
its deffinatly not a choice.. i mean who would choose to be gay... live life with people hating you for no reason... yeah thats the life..
he obviously chose to be str8... and u should point it out.. if he says he did then well... ask him about his urges to sleep with men that he doesn't act apon... jeez
i had a conversation just like that with a guy i worked with.. but after a half hour of talking to him about it he understood what i meant and even joked around with me and everything..
its deffinatly not a choice.. i mean who would choose to be gay... live life with people hating you for no reason... yeah thats the life..
he obviously chose to be str8... and u should point it out.. if he says he did then well... ask him about his urges to sleep with men that he doesn't act apon... jeez
i had a conversation just like that with a guy i worked with.. but after a half hour of talking to him about it he understood what i meant and even joked around with me and everything..
The_Reaper
Minister of Silly Walks
This is the old debate that we've had with numerous groups over the years...I think dialogue from Six Feet Under says it best:
Religious Guy: "Homosexuality is something that can be overcome."
David: "How would you know that unless you overcame it?"
I think that about sums it up.
Homosexuality is not a choice.
However, I think this is where the bigoted breeders get confused, you can chose whether or not to accept it and move on...Or fight against it and end up making some terrible life choices.
Sure, you can "try" to not be gay...But look at two very prominent examples:
Jim McGreevey and Mark Foley.
Sooner or later, you realize it's who you are and you can't change that.
Religious Guy: "Homosexuality is something that can be overcome."
David: "How would you know that unless you overcame it?"
I think that about sums it up.
Homosexuality is not a choice.
However, I think this is where the bigoted breeders get confused, you can chose whether or not to accept it and move on...Or fight against it and end up making some terrible life choices.
Sure, you can "try" to not be gay...But look at two very prominent examples:
Jim McGreevey and Mark Foley.
Sooner or later, you realize it's who you are and you can't change that.
Kurn
JUB Addict
It's a choice in the sense that the gay people that X has seen have, for better or worse, taken hold of their human reality instead of repressively seating it upon the dubious comfort of a church pew.
How much churchian morality would evaporate without the repressive society that surrounds them? Which of them truly is good from the heart? Which of them would revert to some freaked-out neo-barbarian if they do not learn to live their lives according to natural moral choice?
Choice? In a sense gayness is a choice. It's a choice to be true to the nature within.
Human nature, with a little bit of good socialization while young is one of the supreme wonders of the natural world.
Religion is all too often a corruption of human nature.
How much churchian morality would evaporate without the repressive society that surrounds them? Which of them truly is good from the heart? Which of them would revert to some freaked-out neo-barbarian if they do not learn to live their lives according to natural moral choice?
Choice? In a sense gayness is a choice. It's a choice to be true to the nature within.
Human nature, with a little bit of good socialization while young is one of the supreme wonders of the natural world.
Religion is all too often a corruption of human nature.
confusedboy23
Still confused.....
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If being straight isn't a choice, then being gay will never be a choice!
Yes, you can avoid acting on your feelings (and go crazy someday doing so), but what is present deep within yourself will never just fade away! Never!
Yes, you can avoid acting on your feelings (and go crazy someday doing so), but what is present deep within yourself will never just fade away! Never!
Nonimus
Reasurringly Expensive
I fell out with a good freind a while ago over this - it's so frustrating when they insist that being Gay is just a choice - another freind told me that i can simply 'choose' to love whom i want - and thus i can become 'straight'! stupid bitch! I'm gonna have to stop speaking to these Christians- they're insane!
And for the count, I didn't choose to be Gay! But glad i am.
And for the count, I didn't choose to be Gay! But glad i am.
R
RyzeAbove
Guest
being gay isnt a choice for anyone else either
S
Soilwork
Guest
Gay by nature.
Hot by luck.
Fabulous by Choice.
Hot by luck.
Fabulous by Choice.
cocktales
Sin City Cock-Sucker!!
Scary isn't it?
It's NO wonder it took so long for our being Gay NOT to be classified as deviant behavior!
Now that medical science says that being Gay is inborn within an individual, perhaps others will learn to believe and understand us better?
NOT!
People will still believe what they want and usually believe as their parents believe; so it will take like forever to change anyone's mind about who and what we Gay people are all about!
It's amazing also that even highly educated people will also believe as that guy did, that we have a choice NOT to act on who we are!
I am still amazed about how people think! 
It's NO wonder it took so long for our being Gay NOT to be classified as deviant behavior!
Now that medical science says that being Gay is inborn within an individual, perhaps others will learn to believe and understand us better?
NOT!
People will still believe what they want and usually believe as their parents believe; so it will take like forever to change anyone's mind about who and what we Gay people are all about!
It's amazing also that even highly educated people will also believe as that guy did, that we have a choice NOT to act on who we are!
I am still amazed about how people think!
T
twardmo
Guest
People act like you have to take an aptitude test then decide what sexuality you are when in reality it's not like that at all. it's not like you come to a fork in the road and either go the straight way or gay way. people like that piss me off
T
twardmo
Guest
oh and one more thing, about the "having feelings and not acting on them," I bet he NEVER acts on his feelings!
GoodbyeSobriety
Sex God
All of you are wrong, it IS a choice. I'm gay because there was nothing on television.
- DMC
- DMC
GoodbyeSobriety
Sex God
Seriously, I've had this conversation a gazillion times.
If they ask if it's a choice to be gay, then ask them if it's a choice to be straight.
If they say you shouldn't act on feelings (like your douche co-worker), then ask them, "Whats the point of being human then?"
If they play the religion card on you and tell you homosexuality is a sin, tell them they cannot eat shrimp. The Bible states in Leviticus that it's a sin to eat shellfish (crab, shrimp, lobster, etc.). If all sins are the same in God's eyes, well, you get my point...
- DMC
If they ask if it's a choice to be gay, then ask them if it's a choice to be straight.
If they say you shouldn't act on feelings (like your douche co-worker), then ask them, "Whats the point of being human then?"
If they play the religion card on you and tell you homosexuality is a sin, tell them they cannot eat shrimp. The Bible states in Leviticus that it's a sin to eat shellfish (crab, shrimp, lobster, etc.). If all sins are the same in God's eyes, well, you get my point...
- DMC