Being With A Man

[Reality101]

When asked if I could ever be in a relationship with a man, I almost always respond, "Never say never." It's a neutral response, a cop out response really. The truth was--quite frankly--absolutely not. I love a mans body and power, his smell and touch. I love the pleasure that only another man can give me. I love sex with a man--just sex. Could I date a man? No. Fall in love with a man? No. Could I be in a committed relationship with a man? Sorry, no. I have felt that this was the truth since I recognized my bisexuality. It's interesting how things change though. I suppose if I hadn't been slightly open to the revelation that I could in fact fall for a man, then I never would have had it. I'd still be gorging on fantasies and thinking of men as sexual tools to feed my neglected desires. Well, to an extent that is still the case. What has changed, though, is that since getting to know a guy and forming a connection that I thought I could only share with a woman, I am now certain that I could be with a man in every sense of the word... and I'm relieved. I'm also startled, but I'm rolling with relieved right now.

It's different and foreign and, at times, uncomfortable to think about, but I guess the relief comes from knowing that my bisexuality is neither centered nor solely based around a mind-blowing orgasm at the hands of another man. When I felt as though that was the truth, it never really sat well with me; however, it was comfortable and easiest to understand. Now, thanks to a guy that somehow managed to get under my skin, I feel a little overwhelmed but also happily enlightened.