The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Best Friend (Homegurl) wants to Marry me........

lookin4sum1icantrust

lookin4sum1icantrust

Sex God
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Posts
797
Reaction score
0
Points
16
Location
Atlanta
I'm curious to know how y'all feel about this situation.....I got into about over a year ago........Also would love y'all input on maybe how to end it........



Well, I used to work with this girl, and we were in different departments. I met her through a group of friends when we went to the movies.....She is kind of cool, but somehow she has been crushing on me for the longest time. Somehow I got myself into a werid place with her, and we started somehow dating.......I'm gay and she knows, but somehow can't see it.......She saids she isn't trying to convert me, but she really is.....Everytime I say the word "Friends" she doesn't want to hear it, and get jealous over to littlest things like when a girlfriend touches me in certain areas, or when a guy talks to me........I really don't know what really to do about her. She is really sweet, she buys me stuff........Christmas Presents......Birthday Presents.....and ETC......Love her to death, but only see her as a Best Friend (Fag Hag)......I want a guy to spend the rest of my life with.....I think she has a problem with wanting gay guys to be straight......


SN: She dresses like a tom boy, and swears up and down she isn't a dyke, but first look you would think she is........


Anyone had or is having this problem?
 
All i can say is : trust me , you dont want her to end up like Creepy Christy ;from the thread right below urs ..((((Help! Boyfriend in a realtionship with best friend))))
Goodluck!
 
Um, she is delusional, obviously (I mean it in the literal sense), and what I get from your post is that you haven't really laid it down for her bluntly. And you should, if you want to be rid of this.

"Gurl, you are my best friend. You are NOT my girl-friend. You can NEVER be my girl-friend. I don't like you romantically and I am not physically attracted to you. I like DICK. I wand DICK. Deal with it!"

Tone down as appropriate, but all of this needs to get across to her, and honestly, friends or no, if she refuses to accept it, you need to distance yourself from her.
 
Oh man, all the crazies are comin' out for Halloween.

OK, I think that every gay guy should have to deal with one of these once in a lifetime. it teaches you three lessons. First, saving someone's feelings in a situation like this is not kind. She's not "sweet," she's living a fantasy in her head where you wake up one day suddenly straight for her, because probably, she's got her own issues about herself to deal with and as long as she can pretend, she doesn't have to face them.

You need to be blunt, and stop taking her gifts, stop being available for the fantasy she's got going on in her head. She won't hear no unless you back it up. Yo can be nice about it, but you can't be in the least little bit ambiguous, and don't say things like "...I really love you like a friend..." all she'll hear is "...I really love you..."

"...I'm a gay man, I'll always be a gay man, no woman will ever be right for me, I'll never be in love with any woman, I'll never be attracted to any woman, I don't want a woman and I never will..."

At which point she'll either get pissed of at you for "wasting her time..." (been hit with that myself a couple of times - irrational, fantasy Beau IN HER HEAD was such an asshole for breaking up with her like that - freaky) or she'll do some version of passive aggressive guilt mongering.

You also want to avoid the pity. Don't pat her on the hand, go overboard with the sympathy, that just comes across as condescending however you mean it. Be calm, be firm, stand your ground.

Second, sucks that she's your friend because she's going to go through a ton of angst while you go date men. She's probably really in need of distance but probably will never take it, which means you have to deal with her shit like it or not. Sucks that.

Third, REMEMBER this the next time you find yourself crushing on a straight guy.
 
TX-Beau said:
Oh man, all the crazies are comin' out for Halloween.

OK, I think that every gay guy should have to deal with one of these once in a lifetime. it teaches you three lessons. First, saving someone's feelings in a situation like this is not kind. She's not "sweet," she's living a fantasy in her head where you wake up one day suddenly straight for her, because probably, she's got her own issues about herself to deal with and as long as she can pretend, she doesn't have to face them.

You need to be blunt, and stop taking her gifts, stop being available for the fantasy she's got going on in her head. She won't hear no unless you back it up. Yo can be nice about it, but you can't be in the least little bit ambiguous, and don't say things like "...I really love you like a friend..." all she'll hear is "...I really love you..."

"...I'm a gay man, I'll always be a gay man, no woman will ever be right for me, I'll never be in love with any woman, I'll never be attracted to any woman, I don't want a woman and I never will..."

At which point she'll either get pissed of at you for "wasting her time..." (been hit with that myself a couple of times - irrational, fantasy Beau IN HER HEAD was such an asshole for breaking up with her like that - freaky) or she'll do some version of passive aggressive guilt mongering.

You also want to avoid the pity. Don't pat her on the hand, go overboard with the sympathy, that just comes across as condescending however you mean it. Be calm, be firm, stand your ground.

Second, sucks that she's your friend because she's going to go through a ton of angst while you go date men. She's probably really in need of distance but probably will never take it, which means you have to deal with her shit like it or not. Sucks that.

Third, REMEMBER this the next time you find yourself crushing on a straight guy.
Click to expand...

Yeah, She is really good @ gulit trips.............that is how i'm in this mess now.......smh.....

Also, could never be like this over a straight guy......that only can get u really crush,
and trust is never there.......

Thanks for the advice!
 
I've had more women than men crush on me and it has made me learn how to sidestep. "I could turn you around." Honey, if you were with me you'd have to."

I had one seriously scary time though when I took a summer job out of state and some chick crushed even after meeting my partner. I was kidnapped for a couple of hours and after I got back home had 52 'I Miss You' cards in my mailbox one day. Along with them was a postcard accusing me of leading her on and saying she had bought the cards with the intention of sending one a week until we saw each other again, but since I told her to stop contacting me she sent them all at once and told me I watched too many movies.

Tread carefully.
 
psycho girls are psycho.
 
Seasoned said:
I've had more women than men crush on me and it has made me learn how to sidestep. "I could turn you around." Honey, if you were with me you'd have to."

I had one seriously scary time though when I took a summer job out of state and some chick crushed even after meeting my partner. I was kidnapped for a couple of hours and after I got back home had 52 'I Miss You' cards in my mailbox one day. Along with them was a postcard accusing me of leading her on and saying she had bought the cards with the intention of sending one a week until we saw each other again, but since I told her to stop contacting me she sent them all at once and told me I watched too many movies.

Tread carefully.
Click to expand...

OMG! wow......I hope she doesn't start to following me around! I don't think she would do that......but idk.............I really don't know what the outcome will be though. I have have tried a few attempts to stop talking to her, but have somehow got back into this crazy relationship...........She also told me once, that she would find a bisexual guy and we could do a three some bull shit thing.........Crazy and desperate!

I really feel bad, but just want to be a friend..........
 
You can't always get what you want.

Next question - is she being your friend? or only your psycho stalker chick?
 
I want a guy to spend the rest of my life with
Click to expand...

I feel as though that would be nearly impossible in your scenario, assuming you never tell how you feel. From the sound of it, she would do anything to make sure all the attention is on her - giving you no room to grow [independently from her] with a boyfriend. The boyfriend is going to feel 3rd wheel, and you probably will be too hesitant to speak up to her (as you are now) - creating even more problems for you.

Tell her how you feel. You're a gay man, not interested in her. You care about her as a friend and you care about your friendship, but you do not see eye to eye on friendship expectations. If you have a mature friendship you should be able to get your point across, as she should be able to accept (though she won't).

Good luck.
 
MMMonsterBoy said:
I feel as though that would be nearly impossible in your scenario, assuming you never tell how you feel. From the sound of it, she would do anything to make sure all the attention is on her - giving you no room to grow [independently from her] with a boyfriend. The boyfriend is going to feel 3rd wheel, and you probably will be too hesitant to speak up to her (as you are now) - creating even more problems for you.

Tell her how you feel. You're a gay man, not interested in her. You care about her as a friend and you care about your friendship, but you do not see eye to eye on friendship expectations. If you have a mature friendship you should be able to get your point across, as she should be able to accept (though she won't).

Good luck.
Click to expand...

Thanks, Yeah it will be done, very soon........Getting tired of the elephant on my back type of thing. It is getting old, and tired..........Can't even see myself with a female as a commitment of being with her 4 lyfe. other than friendship........Never gonna work.......
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top