Best-Friends.. more like bros

[RedHawkk]

So you've talked to him about guys and stuff?

I mean, no. I'm not one to usually talk about my sexual life with anyone.

Is he a link to the kind of family you would like to have - to have grown up with? You mentioned that you are an only child - do you wish his parents were yours?

I think he is the brother you wish you had - his the family you wish you had. You might feel more loved there - more connected with people.

Nothing strange.

do celebrate your life

Haa, I don't want to say *too much*, but know that your response in the story of my life. But no, I'm not that obsessed to wish his parents were mine. I have pretty awesome parents that I wouldn't trade for any others.

I don't think it's weird at all. I think it's amazing that you have someone so close to you.

If this is a story about two women best-friends, "sisters," hanging out, going shopping all the time, nobody would find it weird. There's really no reason why it should be weird just because two guys are so close.

Double Standards... And Hypocrites. Hate 'em both.

He's your best friend. You're lucky; it is actually rare for men to form close friendships like that. Usually out of fear of being perceived as gay. Most male friendships are based on a common interest or activity: "my fishing buddy," "my golfing buddy," and so forth. Men rarely form close lasting general friendships the way women do. So consider yourself one of the lucky ones. Bromance is something different from best friends. There is confusion and overlap of the terms though. To me, bromance indicates a very close physical affectionate relationship with a lot of hugging and lying down next to each other, etc., but no deep kissing or sex at all.

Thanks for that thought out post. Sometimes I don't think that you can put a label on friendships. But I guess labels make things easier to observe.

 

[aijalon18]

I might be wrong but is it possible you are mentioning this b/c u are starting to have some feelings for him? It seems like if you were just friends and there was nothing btwn you, you wouldnt really care if your relationship seemed weird or unusual to anyone else? OR maybe you are just majorly confused about how you feel about him.

I'm in a similar situation with one of my best and oldest friends. I ultimately decided to keep it platonic. A good, loyal, trustworthy friend who cares about you so much like that is not easy to come by. But bf/gfs come and go.

 

[RedHawkk]

^^^ I don't even know anymore. After re-reading some of the comments I am just confused at the moment.

 

[RedHawkk]

But I do know that I don't want to have sex/kiss/anything like that with him because that'll only make things awkward. And even if they didn't, I still wouldn't because I try not to let my dick make decisions for me. ha

 

[texan_slant]

Consider yourself lucky - it's a good male friendship.

It is what it is,
Don't stress about it, or question it,
Just go with the flow and have the fun that you've been having as brothers.

 

[sdmister4]

this sounds totally normal to me. i know a couple guys who are like that and they're both straight. i always wanted a friendship like that actually.

so what if it seems kinda like a relationship? as long as there's no reason for your girlfriends to be jealous, and as long as they aren't jealous, i think you've got a good thing going.

 

[crzyrazn]

What do I think: You are being coy with us; not entirely sincere. You asked your question for a reason, and I don't think because you "just want to see what others thought about it." I do, however, think that you have recently developed, redeveloped or experienced some feelings for your friend beyond friendship. You yourself have admitted that you have had feelings for him in the past, and your response to aijalon18's question seems to uphold this, and that those feelings have not found its conclusion. What you are asking, I believe, is: Do we think your friend could, due to the context of your relationship, feel the same way?

Who knows? There is only one person on Earth who could know that - your friend.

You will have to decide if the answer is worth it to find out. Much to consider. . .

 

[RedHawkk]

^^^ Lets assume that you are onto something.

How would I go about what you suggested?

I really don't feel like messing up one of the best-friendships that I've probably had for... well.. ever since I was born (except for that kid in kindergarden, he let me borrow his markers.. he's pretty cool )

Anyways... yeah. BTW, you rreply in conjunction to some other things tell different stories, but the "moral" is the same, hypothetically speaking.

 

[normljoe]

It's normal.

My best friend in jr high and high school were the exact same way. There was never any sexual interest. We were just like brothers.

Relax, enjoy it and have fun.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Like others have mentioned, there's something here about this post that says more than you are mentioning. You want something more in this friendship. You guys are so close, that I think you'd ideally like to naturally fool around with him as if it were nothing but part of this "bromance" you share. True, you value the friendship more, but I get the impression you're asking us for tips or suggestions of how to take it further.

In that case, talk about your bisexuality. Sure, he knows, but until you confirm it verbally with him, he's never going to know for sure. If you guys say and do everything together, you should be comfortable talking about your bisexuality. Once you become comfortable talking about it, then you can see if there is any physical connection to your friendship.

 

[crzyrazn]

^^^ Lets assume that you are onto something.

How would I go about what you suggested?

I really don't feel like messing up one of the best-friendships that I've probably had for... well.. ever since I was born (except for that kid in kindergarden, he let me borrow his markers.. he's pretty cool )

Anyways... yeah. BTW, you rreply in conjunction to some other things tell different stories, but the "moral" is the same, hypothetically speaking.

I couldn't suggest how to go about it. It will just be a in-the-moment kinda thing I would think (I would definitely take advantage of those wrestling rounds, ha). That's your problem for now. You're right: these issues have the potential to damage friendships if unwelcome, than again. . .it has the potential to become something more, and maybe worth it. That's why before anything can happen, you will have to make the decision on whether you're a gambler or not. And I'm sure the nice kid with the markers would agree.

If my opinion is mistaken, than I must have missed the fine print where it stated where to look for the hypothetical in any of this, because I missed it there. Why would you seek advice on a trivial matter if that was all?

 

[RedHawkk]

I couldn't suggest how to go about it. It will just be a in-the-moment kinda thing I would think (I would definitely take advantage of those wrestling rounds, ha). That's your problem for now. You're right: these issues have the potential to damage friendships if unwelcome, than again. . .it has the potential to become something more, and maybe worth it. That's why before anything can happen, you will have to make the decision on whether you're a gambler or not. And I'm sure the nice kid with the markers would agree.

If my opinion is mistaken, than I must have missed the fine print where it stated where to look for the hypothetical in any of this, because I missed it there. Why would you seek advice on a trivial matter if that was all?

I am a gambler in certain aspects that I know will not effect my present or future in a significant way. For example: I'll not do my homework, or skip a class for a day, set up a prank or something kiddish like that; but I see this guy (and alot of my other friends) in my life way after school. I want to keep it like that. Idk, I still don't think that I'm into him as much as is being suggested; but you know how teenage guys work, things change everyday.

As for the second part, I shouldn't of worded it that way.

 

[sweetcar]

I would say you guys have a wonderful relationship. You should treasure that first and foremost....people that have close friends as you've discribed are very lucky. There's a lot of people that are LONGING for any kind of close relationship.

I've had a few friendships in my life, as you described, and they are and involve, some of the best moments of my life.

Is there a 'sexual' component to all this; well, there could be. Just from my perspective, admitting I like guys, there's probably never really been a guy I got 'close' to that I didn't have at least some 'sexual' attraction to.