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Bf sleeps with best friend in same bed

Twistedup

Twistedup

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i think that after i was about 15...any time i slept in the same bed with anyone at least one of us was getting ideas.

i mean there are exceptions...like sharing a bed with a friend in a hotel room or at a house party....

i think what it comes down to is this...is there another bed or a comfy couch erik could sleep on? if so then he should be there and not sharing the bed.

are they drunk? if so, they probably shouldn't be sharing the bed...cause if they aren't doing anything, you better believe they're fighting an urge. if not, then why is he spending the night with your boy anyway? usually, adults go home after a night of hanging out if they're sober.

i wouldn't stand for it. then again i've never had a boyfriend...but i sure as hell would never have let a girlfriend casually share a bed with an ex. no way.

i suppose if i had a boyfriend i might be more inclined to just crawl up in the middle and make sure it was ok.
 
then tell him to cut that shit out. yeah i'm new to this boyfriend thing...but i'm pretty sure that this is not normal.

where are you when this goes on? sux cause who wants to crawl in the middle if you're just gonna fight with that mattress split all night...?

tell your boyfriend that it isn't cool. and i know you don't want to, but FORBID him to do it. he shouldn't have put you in the position to feel it is a necessary thing to do in the first place, so you shouldn't feel bad about doing it.
 
That is a difficult situation. Since you seem to really care about your bf, I guess you want to be very careful. How well do you know his ex? It does seem very odd that they still want to sleep like this. It sounds like you trust him but not completely. I guess you must decide whether he is worth being your bf and if you can put up with this. If you can, you are much more understanding and trusting than I probably would be.
 
Or you can jump into bed with them and sleep between them. Sort of like a chaperoned sleep-over?
 
Hi hephaistos,

Since you asked, I think that based on what I read--it is only fair to you that your bf & Erik should not only consider but must certainly find other sleeping arrangements.........Yuki
 
If this is an exclusive relationship between the two of you then hopefully he would want it not even to look like he was screwing around on you---it's just about respect.

I don't know how you found out they were sleeping in the same bed--if he told you or not, but I think you need to let him know your feelings if you have not done so and if he doesn't agree then it's time to find another boyfriend.
 
For some people sleeping in the same bed is just sleeping in the same bed. If they have done it a thousand times, then they might not see the harm. At first I was willing to write it off to convenience. That was until you described the sleeping arrangements. The fact that he has to put special effort into making the bed like that makes it fishy. They may not be doing anything physically, but there seems to be something going on emotionally. I think it's time to have another talk with your bf about how disrespectful it is to you. If he continues the practice, it's probably time to move on.
 
If you believe that these two guys are sleeping naked in the same bed and nothing is happening, then I have some mortgage-based securities that I want to sell you.

You've been dating for a year and a half. If your boyfriend had any respect for you and the relationship, he would stop these little sleepovers.

hephaistos said:
my bf IS pretty amazing
Click to expand...

Perhaps he is amazing. But unless something changes, he's not particularly trustworthy. And he does not take your relationship as seriously as you do.
 
I'm an open-minded guy to the intimacy and platonic trust of friendships and relationships, but this goes beyond reasonable.

Does he have any other gay friends he's had sex with before sleep over naked with him? Why only this guy? And if you broke up with him, would he still invite you for sleepovers while having a new boyfriend? How would you feel to be the ex-sex "friend?" The issue is more than just your boyfriend's odd relationship with this friend, but that also this friend thinks it's okay to circumvent your role in the relationship to sleep with your boyfriend.

It's not normal. Not by any means.
 
I know you might have answered this but it seems like a valid point that is being missed. Did you tell him that this bugs you and that most bf's don't do this and if he really liked you, he would respect your wishes? Because it really isn't that big of a deal for him to say "I have a bf and he doesn't like it when we do this so you have to sleep on the couch" and if he does have a problem saying this it sounds like he wants a one way relationship where all of his needs are satisfied and yet none or yours are satisfied...
 
Obviously they are very close to each other and being sleeping together naked comes naturally for them. Probably the same is true for sex also. If you had sex with someone in the past regularly his body is not a taboo for you any more. I had sex with my ex when both of us were having new relationships. Somehow I didn't feel like cheating, it was totally different emotionally than sex with a stranger. I was so got used to his body that it was like some usual everyday activity of mine, brushing my teeth or something like that. Strange but I really felt that I am faithful to my new bf... Of course I understand that you are worried about your bf, and probably you should try to stop him doing it somehow.
 
ah hahahaha

um they're sleeping together.........period...................

really man why do you ask when you know what's up?
 
What's fishiest to me is that he doesn't seem to want to understand why this might bother you. It's not very respectful to say, in essence, "I don't get why X behavior bothers you, so I'll just keep doing it." I mean, as your boyfriend, you'd think he wouldn't want you to feel weird or bad about his behavior.

If this was a friend since childhood who he'd never had a sexual relationship with, it would be a non-issue, imo, but the fact that they're essentially behaving the same way they did when they were having sex (minus the sex, hopefully) doesn't seem right.

And I agree, physically sleeping with someone is a pretty intimate act, even without sex, snuggling, etc.
 
Okay, say we put this in terms of a straight relationship... If a girl was dating a guy, and he continued to sleep naked in the same bed with his ex-girlfriend/hookup... would that be considered normal behavior? The answer is... absolutely not. So it shouldn't be any different with the two of you. Just ask your boyfriend to stop doing this and, if he doesn't understand why you're uncomfortable, he's not the "great" guy you think he is.
 
^QFT^

also i feel out of place here saying this...but i think an ass whooping may be necessary.
 
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