Bi boy needs advice?

[collegeteen07]

Ok so I have a very serious girlfriend. I believe I am perfectly 50/50 in my sexuality, cause I'll do anything with either sex. My girlfriend knows that I'm bi and she is pretty ok with it. Her and I have decided that were gonna have a threesome with one of our friends. I have been talkin to our friend who has became my best friend, I have actually found out my friend is bi also. So that is pretty awesome! I'm actually liking him a lot lately, and it is takin away from my girlfriend. I talk to him everyday all day. I love my girlfriend but I feel like I'm getting romantically attracted to my friend. I also am wondering since my girlfriend knows that me and him will mess around during the threesome, is it ok if we mess around on our own? Cause we have, we had sex once and I didn't bother me cause I figure if she is willing to let us mess around with each other during a threesome, I can on our own too. I'm just so confused? Help please

 

[godson112]

Well.
I myself would go for it and have the threesome.
But, thats not good advice and it's not the best idea.
Stay true to your girlfriends, or if you really do like this guy, be honest with her. I'm sure she'd understand.

 

[Txgoodoldboy]

Do you and your girlfriend have an open relationship. In other words, what agreement do you have with your girlfriend about screwing around outside of your relationship?

 

[collegeteen07]

We haven't talked about that? Just the threesome screwing

 

[racer2438]

then be honest with her and him . But playin both sides is not always cool to either one. as someone will get attached more to one and then issues arise.

but always play safe , safe , safe.

 

[Romantico]

Dude, in my opinion your making a mistake. I've been with my GF for less than a year and I have no desire to have another person involved while we're having sex. We have discussed it and though perhaps someday but right now, for us, its not practical. You say your 50/50. So am I. Sounds like you need to spend more time with your GF and build/earn some trust. Good sex for me is doing it with someone I trust and love unconditionally. If you have desires for this other person it sounds like your just torturing yourself. Maybe you and your GF should take some time off and you should explore your feelings with your other friend. I mean, if your feelings are so strong for him, why keep her around? Are you being fair to her? This is part of why bisexual's get the bad rap they get. I think you need to be honest and tell your GF exactly what you have posted here. Honesty is the key factor and by being honest it shows you care enough about everyone and don't want to hurt anyone.

Guess what I am trying to say is having a threesome so you don't feel guilty about falling your friend is a cop out and will lead to more pain and hurt down the road. If your GF knows how you feel and still wants a threesome than I would think that would be a load off your shoulders and you'd enjoy it more. I still feel threesomes are something you build and lead up to, but thats just me. Good luck to you dude!

 

[collegeteen07]

Thanks I understand that, we've been together for almost a year and she knows that I wanna mess with him during our threesome and she doesn't have a problem. I don't know it might just be that me and my friend are able to talk about stuff together that we can't talk about with anyone else. That might be what I'm feeling cause most of my friend in life have been girls and now I have a truely best friend that is a guy and we can mess around together so. IDK I know that it might be a cop out but I could just go find some random guy to use for gay sex, but I have a friend that is willing to do it so I kinda feel safer. IDK this sucks

 

[Frafilippolippi]

If you and your girl never agreed that it was ok to mess around outside your relationship than you have made a mistake. Having a 3-way with this guy isn't going to help.

 

[collegeteen07]

Well I'm just straight up a mistake? There is no way to get around that!

 

[collegeteen07]

I'm not asking everyone to tell me I made mistake or that I'm a mistake. I would like input of what I should do. Cause I do know I love my girlfriend very much, but I don't know where my feelings are going for my friend. I am also 19 my girlfriend is 24; I like I said have just acquired some guy friends and she is all wanting to get married soon and start a family which is fine but I am not sure if I'm ready for all that. It also seems like I have to take her everywhere with me and I can't have any guy time cause she don't have a car to get anywhere. IDK Life kinda sucks right now!

 

[Frafilippolippi]

Dude! You are not a mistake!!! (Cause if you are then we all are) What you DID was wrong. And it's a mistake I've made and that most of the people on here probably also made.

You are not out of options! You just need to talk to your girlfriend about it.

 

[collegeteen07]

Thanks I don't really know what to say to her or anything

 

[Frafilippolippi]

Well, you've got a girl that understands you and is willing to have a threeway with you. For myself and others here you're pretty much living the dream. But that's only what things look like from the outside, right?


Here are some options, and none of them are easy:
1) Tell her about what happened
2) Tell her your not ready to settle down. Split up and let her get on with her life
3) Stay with her and just try to be strong when temptation comes along
4) Try and negotiate an open relationship with her where you're allowed to have sex outside your relationship
5) Limit your sex with others to threeways (if this was an option for me a happy boy I would be)

Three ways and open relationships can be really complicated and they are not for every one. An open minded relationship counsellour could walk you through the process, maybe even give you a script.

good luck!

 

[Romantico]

There's no right or wrong answer here. I have always said we don't pick who we fall in love with. Don't let anyone tell you your a mistake or that your even doing something wrong. Its between you and the other 2 people and no one else. Far be it for me or anyone else to judge you. I know how confusing it can be (been there done that) I bet it keeps you awake at night and you find it hard to concentrate on anything but your friend and GF. Like I said, I have been there. You have an advantage with her being older. Girls are way more mature than us guys are and the best thing to do is let her know how frustrated you are. If she loves you she'll hopefully understand. Marriage is more than likely a mistake right now. Tell her your confused and need to figure things out. Marriage is only confusing you more and putting more pressure on you.To get married would be unfair to her and you right now. I know life must feel very dark and confusing for you now. It did for me. A year ago I was in a relationship with a guy and we were doing great. If you told me I would find a woman a year ago who completed me and made me realize this is what I wanted, I would have laughed at you. When my BF and I broke up I wanted a break. I swore I would take a year or more off and not get into a relationship. I stayed out of the clubs and went out of my way NOT to meet people. I spent more time at home reading and catching up on movies, I became a recluse. I wasn't looking for anyone and then I met this person who I am convinced was a gift from above. I am more clear now than I have ever been that I have found for the first time in my life what I want and who can make me happy. Since meeting her I laugh several times a day, I feel I am a better person, I don't feel stressed or confused and I am aroused and horny 24/7. I've had sex pretty much everyday since Christmas and each time it gets better and better. I feel stronger and healthier and am just happier for the first time in my life. I am still into guys and am bisexual, but this one woman does it for me. I don't think I know the same thing will happen to you someday.

You make the rules and you do what you feel in your heart is right. You might make some mistakes. If you do, you learn from them. Dude, your only 19. You have so much time. I say experience what life has to offer. Be honest and take one day at a time. Feel free to PM if you like 24/7. Trust me man, your not alone and more of us are pulling for you than you might know.

 

[collegeteen07]

Thanks your right I'm having a really hard time right now, I am usually a very upbeat happy person. Most of the people come to me to talk about their problems and now I have one and usually I can analyze it and fix it on my own but this ones rough.

 

[virginboy20]

The assumption that she would be fine with you sleeping with this person one-on-one, just because she is interested in a threesome, is a big assumption as well.

 

[KaraBulut]

I'm actually liking him a lot lately, and it is takin away from my girlfriend. I talk to him everyday all day. I love my girlfriend but I feel like I'm getting romantically attracted to my friend. I also am wondering since my girlfriend knows that me and him will mess around during the threesome, is it ok if we mess around on our own? Cause we have, we had sex once and I didn't bother me cause I figure if she is willing to let us mess around with each other during a threesome, I can on our own too. I'm just so confused?

Whatever adults agree to in a relationship is okay. Where they go wrong is when they try to keep secrets from each other.

If you are able to pull off having an interest in a guy and a girl at the same time you are fortunate. For most bisexuals, it just doesn't work very well. Most bisexuals find that their attractions vary back and forth- but it is rare that they are able to juggle attractions to both genders at the same time.

Jealousy usually gets in the way, too.

My recommendation is that you need to get your head together before you go down this path any further.

 

[collegeteen07]

So guess what, My girlfriend and I talked last night. We discussed that we spend too much time together I mean like 20/7 so yeah kinda a lot of time and I don't have any alone time. We also talked about the gay side of my biness acting up and I told her abou tthat and she was like your 19 your young. I don't care if you go and have sex with guys be careful of course. There is only the one guy that I really wanna have sex with so, I feel so much better and thank you all for your input.

 

[looseliam]

I"m weary of people in relationships who tell the other "go and have sex with other people, it's O.K."

I see red flags all over this thread.

 

[KaraBulut]

I"m weary of people in relationships who tell the other "go and have sex with other people, it's O.K."

I see red flags all over this thread.

Alas, it is how we all learn.