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Bi guy falling for friends bf!

hey guys just another update, i've been thinking about this alot recently and i know how wrong it would be now if i was to ever make a move but i still can't get him out of my mind. Everyday lately i just want to be around him? I'm very fond of him as a friend too?

He was at mine last week and i had some joggy shorts on led on my bed whilst he was sat next to me, he turns and goes 'blind me your bulging today' to which i just laughed it off but then he actually poked my bulge!!! Now c'mon guys this is teasing me now right??
 
Doesn't matter if he's teasing you or not. To do that to a friend is about as low as you can get.
There are plenty of single guys/gals for you out there. Focus on them instead of someone who is in a relationship.
 
unknown dude said:
He was at mine last week and i had some joggy shorts on led on my bed whilst he was sat next to me, he turns and goes 'blind me your bulging today' to which i just laughed it off but then he actually poked my bulge!!! Now c'mon guys this is teasing me now right??
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If he doesn't even know you're gay/bi then how or why would he be teasing you?

You do know that straight guys joke around with each other in such a manner very very often and it almost always means NOTHING.
 
TX-Beau said:
Man you are determined to get someone to tell you he's interested.

This is really common you know. Gay/bi guys in the closet obsessing over the guys in their vicinity, hyper-analyzing every. little. thing. - reading innuendo into every comment, meaningfully interpreting every brush - but in the end, even if you knew for certain, where does that info get you?

What are you going to do with it? Come out? Try to fuck him? What?

Say you have your answer? Where do you go from there?

In a sense, what you're asking us to provide is wish fulfillment. Someone to tell you that he wants you so you can live that possibility vicariously in your head - and really there's nothing wrong with that - so long as you realize it's a fantasy, and reality has consequences.

We get threads in here all the time about people who've crossed the line and fucked up friendships and lives because of it.

So say you know, what do you do about it? The underlying problem, which you haven't addressed, is that the reason guys in the closet have these kinds of crushes, is because they are safe. You probably have a pretty good idea that this isn't going to go anywhere, so there's no gamble for you. You don't have to come out, you don't have to risk rejection, and you don't have to face guys who will have to know you are gay/bi upfront.

You can go through life having these crushes on unobtainable guys, or you can come out and put yourself in the path of men who will actually want you. Your choice, your life, think about it.
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^^ This exactly.

You are here waiting for enough people to grant you permission. I think you are going to do what you want anyway, and its not going to be the wiser choice.

Good luck buddy.
 
In a way I think you're not interested in good advice on here, and you're waiting for permission to legitimize your feelings. We appreciate the updates, but you're not going down a good direction.

So I am going to offer alternative advice that I think will satisfy these urges you have.

Your friend is the focus of your infatuations and lust. You are bisexual and very curious, but you don't know anyone to experience these feelings with.

I suggest you start an online profile at adam4adam.com, manhunt.net, or download an application like Grindr on your smartphone.

These aren't the best places to find good men, but they are easy and provide you a safe space to meet other guys and still keep your sexuality in the closet.

The solution is to divert your attention elsewhere. Please follow this advice. I guarantee you will end up happier. You won't destroy the friendships you have, nor harm a child who needs both parents together. You'll also meet other fun guys who are hot and totally into you! It's a win-win.
 
As several others have said, it does appear you are looking for approval for something you know is wrong.
You won't get that from most of the posters here.
I would urge you to follow the advice of Just Believe and some other posters and set up meetings with other guys.
To go after this guy is wrong..and I think you know that.
 
guys i'm not looking for reassurance it's ok because i'd never do that i'm just saying the stuff he does and says does lead me on a bit right?

Not every guy talks about his and my penis so much aswell as poking it and getting me to poke his!
 
unknown dude said:
guys i'm not looking for reassurance it's ok because i'd never do that i'm just saying the stuff he does and says does lead me on a bit right?

Not every guy talks about his and my penis so much aswell as poking it and getting me to poke his!
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You are doing that. All your behaviors and language state that you are a willing participant. You and he are playing this little flirty sex game, touching each other, etc, etc. Please don't make statements that are to the contrary and treat the people here like morons. We know fully well what you are doing, and why you are here stretching out this attention-based discussion.

When your friend finds out (and she will) you are going to be in a world of hurt and it will all be your fault. You have the choice to stop, but you are instead pursuing it and coming on here and bragging about your little exploits. You are going to ruin a friendship, and you've already lost all credibility here with this community.

If you wanted to stop, you would have. No one is forcing you at gunpoint to flirt and touch his cock. So, please cease your little denials here because everyone sees quite clearly what you are.
 
I talked this over with a friend who is straight and here was the conclusion he came to... and I am inclined to agree.


Your little "secret" isn't that secret. This guy knows you are into him and he's not flirting, he's teasing.

You are giving him attention and a lot of people in relationships (gay and straight) like to know that they are still attractive to people other than their significant other. So he continues to play you so you shower him with attention and he's laughing it up all the way back to his girlfriend who he is sleeping with knowing there is some poor fool out there who is hoping to sleep with him but will never get the chance. And as long as he can still keep you interested he will continue to do it until he finds someone else as naive and gullible to play this game with.

You're getting played, pure and simple.
 
rareboy said:
You are both being immature.

Stop it.

This flirtation is totally inappropriate and simply has to stop.

Think of how this would appear if it were a guy and a girl carrying on this way in front of one of their partners. It would look threatening and inappropriate. Well the same is true when it is the two guys doing it.

Get yourself a real bf to fuck around with and treat this couple and their kid with some respect.
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Let me repeat my original advice.
 
Everyone controls their own actions. No one can make you do anything.

You are choosing to continue the inappropriate playing around with a guy in a relationship with a child.

What he is doing does not matter.
How he is teasing you does not matter.
Whether he is straight/gay/in denial/bi/whatever does not matter.

He is in a relationship and has a child. And you are choosing to continue the play.

My advice. The next time he plays, say it is making you uncomfortable and while you would like him as a friend, you also want to be a friend to his gf and the grabbing your junk needs to stop.

Do you really want to play a part in him and his gf splitting up and that child possibly growing up without his dad?

You have a choice. Choose wisely.
 
hi all just wanted to say this thread has given me a huge reality check and i'm going to stop this inappropriate behaviour
 
I have the hots for a married closeted guy with kids. I try to help myself but he's so hot and we find each other attractive. He's GAY so coming out isn't the issue, it's that yeah he's already in a relationship and he couldn't ever really be 'the one' or my everything. But we both have crushes on each other.

And the fact he won't call himself gay, is hot to me. Also hot because he isn't a typical straight guy (that actually turns me OFF- as straight men can be too sociopathic and too ghetto) but a gay guy that's just closeted and is against the gay label, just like me.

We are very romantically attracted but he's already in a relationship and so it won't ever work out. Also he won't come out of the closet and just be w/me in reality. How could he do that? He's already taken.

He made his choice: The closet and a "Lie" I suppose. I just hope I find an openly out gay guy that I find just as hot, but I'm not holding my breath. *cry*
 
unknown dude said:
hi all just wanted to say this thread has given me a huge reality check and i'm going to stop this inappropriate behaviour
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No dude hook up him. He wants the dick ! Give it to him !

If he's not happy with his girlfriend then that's not ur fault.

Your just wasting time. Sooner or later he's going to leave her for a guy and that guy should be u.

So go head! Do yaaaa thang ..|
 
NycLife said:
No dude hook up him. He wants the dick ! Give it to him !

If he's not happy with his girlfriend then that's not ur fault.

Your just wasting time. Sooner or later he's going to leave her for a guy and that guy should be u.

So go head! Do yaaaa thang ..|
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You give terrible advice. Please spare us your input to others on this board who legitimately need help.

Unknown dude, thank you for the update and I'm glad you are going to change the situation for the better.
 
Sounds like a good time to me, lol... the question is : Are you willing to risk losing ur friend and breakin up her family for him ???
 
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