Bi guys should I just start dating girls?..

[MrWright]

why either or?

date a girl if it happens , no need to tell her anything on the 1st date. enjoy yourself , dont handcuff yourself

Not bi myself but I would agree with this...

Remember though, not allllll guys are "dickchasers."

Just a very large portion of them.

 

[youngnihilist]

Are you really that into girls? I thought you weren't. if youre not really into girls, it's better to be celibate than live a lie

 

[KaraBulut]

why am I doing this to myself and avoiding dating girls when I could have been with one in a relationship long time ago? Why am I still continuing to seek guys who so far are nothing but dick chasers, but I'm looking for more than that in a person. (Yes, I've went out on dates).

Remember though, not allllll guys are "dickchasers."
Just a very large portion of them.

Guys at your age have a very ideal view of everything. They idealize love and they idealize sex. And they're obsessed with finding both.

In their mid-20s, a lot of guys will look around and see that they're alone and begin to panic. That's when they begin to look to settle down and try longer term relationships.

You're just a bit ahead of the curve.

Because you are really gay, and have never accepted it and thus can't see yourself in a real, honest, relationship with someone you love.

I don't know that I agree with this. It seems that you're wanting an emotional commitment and that you're open to to having that with either gender.

You're just wondering, "If I make that commitment, am I going to always wonder, 'What if?' ".

Before you decide to date anyone of the opposite sex you might want to look into changing your attitude toward women.

Like has been said here, not all gay guys are dick chasers. Sometimes it just takes time to find the right guy.

It seems to be fashionable these days to refer to women as bitches and "hos". And even though these are just words, it has an underlying tone that you view women as just objects and not as people.

It's worth pointing out that by viewing women this way, you're in the same boat as guys who are constantly chasing skirts or chasing cock.


NYC is a tough market. What you're looking for is out there. But as the saying goes, "When the gods want to punish you, they give you what you want".

 

[UnderBiCover]

alot of good advice here

I think you'll know if you're bi if you can't stop thinking about women - if you're only thinking about guys, then that's probably telling you something

I've long known I'm bi & attracted to intimacy with both genders but the two genders are not interchangeable

I've never found it's like a buffet, that today I want a woman, tomorrow a man

women are beautiful, complex, wonderful, fascinating - they offer a much different type of companionship & love than a man, a woman is like a masterpiece in a museum, a treasure to be adored & worshiped & coaxed into full flower

I don't see men that way at all (but I'm sure some/many do)

 

[KaraBulut]

Even Paris agrees.

If you're using Paris Hilton as a point of reference, prepare yourself for end the of civilization as we know it.

 

[tonyboy]

Not sure what's the purpose of this thread, but maybe it will help.
There have been ups and downs in life since high school and ever since college, I avoided (for the most part) anything with women because I really wanted a relationship with a guy because I have more connection (emotional) to men. But it's been a while and the "hook up culture" is not for me at all, so I just started to question myself why am I doing this to myself and avoiding dating girls when I could have been with one in a relationship long time ago? Why am I still continuing to seek guys who so far are nothing but dick chasers, but I'm looking for more than that in a person. (Yes, I've went out on dates).

My only fear is that I won't be 100% at peace in mind being with a girl and I don't want to hurt anyone because of this. I pretty much know that I can control myself and not sleep around with guys behind the back because I did avoid hooking up at all opportunities so far, but I just wonder if over time a relationship can develop to a point where I won't be bothered about guys?
(I guess this question can't be answered until I try going for a girl, but like will first have to accept being an asshole if it won't work.)

Hey my friend.... and I know I can call you that cause of your talks in the past.
Figured I'd write this openly rather than through a pm.

I admire you for the guy you are. Lot's of gay guys are dick chasers.... hell lot's fo straight buys are c*** chasers. You went through that latter part a while back in your life.
Look.... I've had some very good friends that have done just what you are trying to do.... that is meet guys for a date, get to know them... date some more.
Seems to me you want to meet a good man in life.... get to know him and then figure out if you want to be involved more than just dating.
That is a damned tough thing to do. But remember you are still a young guy, and yeah, you will meet some jerks along the way...

And man, you are pretty nice looking, got a great body, and a perfect smile... lot's of gay guys are going to chase you and just want to have sex.... cannot be helped.
You've got an outgoing personality, you are cute, and a damned fine guy. So, don't figure that guys aren't going to notice all of that.... and many of them will be out for just a quick sex deal with you.

What you are trying to do will take time. Sorry to say so.... but that's the truth. You don't seem to want just a bit of sex here and there.... you want the real thing.

Could be you may want to go back to the women. I know you've had some in your life. But dude, those too were just slam bang things... Not a real relationship.
Yeah, you probably could find a woman easier than a guy. Lot's more straight women in this world than there are gay guys. Make it much tougher to find the right mate.
But most of the guys I've talked to that tried to do it as you are doing ended up finding the right guy... not easy I know.

You are the sort of guy that doesn't quit. You are tough and strong. That I know for a fact from our talks.
It will happen for you, I know for sure it will.
I think you are very thoughtful about wanting to not get involved with a girl cause you dont' want to hurt her when you do find the right guy to be with. And you will.

You pm me if you want more on this line of thinking man.

You are a great guy. And some lucky guy will find you sooner or later. I know that.... I KNOW THAT.

 

[backpacker]

From what you wrote, it's clear that you won't be happy in a relationship with a woman. That's why you have avoided it up until now.

What I recommend is that you re-focus your efforts on finding a guy that is looking for a relationship. There are many guys who want relationships. They are just a little harder to find than hookups. Join some gay groups. It's a great way to meet guys without any pressure. In NYC, there is probably a gay group for about any interest you have. You will be meeting guys who have interests similar to yours. Given a little time, you will probably find someone who is right for you. Good luck!

 

[sabot3ur]

sorry you're such a faggot, but going after the womens won't help.