Bi Seriously attracted to 'straight' friend. Could use some advice...

[Tygrin]

Ok.
The short version:

He's pretty damn cute, and could use some luffin. Which I wouldn't mind providing, but don't wanna scare him off... what do?

The details?

He's an ex-coworker, we met about a year ago and got along almost instantly. He's the soft-spoken kind of guy whose baby blues hide a deliciously inciting spark of mischief, and we just spend hours and hours talking about anything and everything. Physically, he's pretty easy on the eyes. Short, small-ish frame, but pretty well-built, cute butt, hairy chest, playful smile, etc etc.

Kinda backed off a while back since he started talking about a 'girlfriend', but he's gotten himself beartrapped with a married girl, a bit of a sordid story with chapters on husband, kids, and a 'divorce' that won't come anytime soon... if at all.

We started going for the occasional drink again, and I offer my friendly shoulder. And now that I'm moving abroad, everytime we meet I can't help but feel he's wanting to be with me more often. And I can't help but feel heavily drawn to him, an attraction that goes from "GHOD I wanna kiss him and make it better" to "Please sit on my face now" in a matter of seconds.

I'd like to think he's at 'least' bi, like me... I mean, the way he acts and talks definitely say 'straight', but the way he looks at me, the subtle way he shows off his chest through the open buttons on his shirt, the way he says my company is so precious to him... these things and countless others just throw off my 'gaydar'!

And problem is... if he's indeed straight, and if I even 'hint' at something less than 'straight', it'll probably make our friendship go a bit sour. Probably a 'Worst Case Scenario', but still gotta consider the possibility. Especially since, with me moving away, it would mean the difference between keeping the friendship at a distance, and not talking ever again...

I know this will probably end up not going anywhere, but I can't help but 'romanticize' the situation, and keep awake thinking about 6'1" me slowly leaning down to kiss 5'6" him just outside the car... and yes, the part where i end up with my hand in his pants would be nice too...

Opinions, comments, advice?

Thank you for your time and patience

 

[Disturbance]

Everyone will disagree with me on this, but in your position I would blurt out the question: "Can I kiss you, please?" Maybe it would be best if you could manage to hug him before this happens, because in such an intimate moment, you can more likely tell if he is into it or not.

Now, I know this is a little out of the blue, but it is better to move forward, than driving yourself insane. His reaction will reval if he is interested in guys at all or not, also if he is willing he is quite likely bi or bi-curious.

However if either you or him are in a relationship of any kind, stay away. If you are both single? Go for it. There is no riskfree way out of your situation and there is a big chance of either or both of you getting hurt, but you either risk and try, and maybe earn something, or you let this go. If he didn't make a move on you so far, he never will, so if you want him, you must take steps.

I wish you the best, but take care. Situation like yours tend to end badly. I hope you don't get hurt too much.

 

[HunterM]

Does he know you're bi? If not, tell him you're bi...and guage his reaction.

 

[KaraBulut]

So, you want him to trade a "beartrapped with a married girl" for a one night stand that may ruin a friendship?

And you are willing to risk a friendship with a nice cute guy for a fantasy that you seem to know won't work out the way you fantasize about?

 

[Tygrin]

So, you want him to trade a "beartrapped with a married girl" for a one night stand that may ruin a friendship?

And you are willing to risk a friendship with a nice cute guy for a fantasy that you seem to know won't work out the way you fantasize about?

...'excellent' point you made.

 

[KaraBulut]

...'excellent' point you made.

Yeah- one-night stands are always easy to find. Good friends- not quite so easy to find.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

IMO You're spending way too much "quality" time with straight guys. Spend as much time with known bi/gay guys whom you can have intimate relationships with. This one is fantasy only.

 

[Ambition92]

Maybe you should drop a hint or two that you're bi before moving away. Yes, it might mean that the friendship slowly fizzles, but that in my opinion is a likely situation regardless of you telling him or not. I know it might sound tough, but my rationale is that you should at least get some closure as to "what if?" before moving away. Yes, he might be 100% straight but what if he's not? What if he really wouldn't mind spending the night with you?

I want to reiterate that a lot of this comes from the fact that you're moving away. If you weren't then I'd suggest you give it time and be more tactful about finding out about your friend's true feelings. I hope it all works out and hopefully this post gave you some useful advice.

 

[lakeviewcouple8689]

I think you should just go for it and tell him how you feel and see what happens. You never know until you try and if it isn't the reaction or response you're hoping for at least you know instead of driving yourself crazy with what-ifs...

 

[Seasoned]

Be out in all your primary relationships while realizing everyone you may be crushing on is not crushing back.

 

[innocentbychoice]

Does he know you're bi? If not, tell him you're bi...and guage his reaction.

I agree. And no, don't ask him to kiss you like somebody else said. Jeez, this is real life not a porno.

I think that if he knows your bi and he trusts you, if he ever wants it he'll probably look for the situation to make something happen.