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Bisexual and Dating

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marco9999

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So here's the deal, I am a gay male, I have been dating this really awesome bisexual guy for about 2 months now, and a few nights ago was the first night that we spent together, we started making out and right before we had a chance to go any further he says "Before this goes any further, I need to tell you that my ex fiance has been calling me alot, with her problems and I really in a confusing place right now, and I just want you to know that, so I can't really say where this is going us." I then say to him okay then he says oaky so we start to go at it, all the while I noticed that he is not aroused ie he's flaccid the entire time, he gives me a bj an I ant to return the favor so I start and right before I can even get a rythmn he stops me and says "I'm sorry but I am in a weird place, but I want to do this for you" he then sucks me off to completion and and then we lay down together and he whispers in my ear you will only ever get the truth from me, I will always be honest with you, and then we fell asleep in one anothers arms. So here is where I need help, what should I do can anyone tell me what you might think may be the case, he was engaged to marry this women once do you think that he still may want to try and make their previous relationship work, he has told me that they tried to get back together but then realized that they make one another horrible as a person, I know he is concerned about her becasue she is ruining her life with drugs and alcohol, what should I do? I really like him and I don't want to lose him. :confused:
 
walk away sweetie...too many red flags...sure he may be a great guy after all this drama, but is it really fair for u? just tell him, "ok, when u get everything settled, give me a call" and walk away...been there...dating a married guy (with a woman) who claimed he would eventually divorce her if i gave him time...i did for a long time but guess what? they never divorced...sometimes u just gotta give up and move on...
 
Dont get emotionally invested in him. Just sleep with him on the side when his girl is out of town or they had a fight but there are lots of gay men out there for you to find happiness.
 
newboy12 said:
Dont get emotionally invested in him. Just sleep with him on the side when his girl is out of town or they had a fight but there are lots of gay men out there for you to find happiness.
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Ack... this is in hot topics again, this time I will comment.
As newboy12 says, don't get emotionaly involved with him.

I will add: most , not all, most Bi guys use gay guys as their personal cum rag and throw them away, do the same to your bi guy.
 
I think you should consider finding someone else, but I'm not going to tell you go out right now and dump him.

He doesn't seem to be over her, and I don't like his line about how "he's in a difficult spot right now". It makes it sound like she takes priority.

I'm bisexual, and even I don't know if I'd get involved with him. I understand that it is really really hard and confusing to be attracted to both sexes, but I also believe that being bi does not give you the right to be in a relationship without commitment (you can't say I love you today, but my situation is difficult, so things may change). It's not fair for him to have a relationship when he seems so indecisive.

I empathize to a certain extent what he's going through, but I still think he's in the wrong.

only you can tell how sincere he is, I'm hesitant to tell you "just go dump him." It all depends on how big of a mess you think either option would be. He does not seem like a bad guy, he's just like a deer in headlights, he doesn't know what to do. He seems to have feelings for you, and it will hurt both of you if you leave him...but you run the possibility of being in an even bigger mess if you stay, it's up to you to gage how big that mess will be.

As a side note:

"I will add: most , not all, most Bi guys use gay guys as their personal cum rag and throw them away, do the same to your bi guy."

Sad quote. Sorry you feel that way, but kind of circular logic to promote the idea of using "someone as their personal cum rag," when you make clear you despise that course of action. I just hope no one will ever view me that way...
 
Look, you probably feel the weight of the whole situation resting upon your shoulders more than anyone else round here.

Obviously, you want to stay as uninvolved emotionally as you can. Can you really do that?

Would being Fuck Buddies (apparently with him pleasuring you and apparently no versatility involved be acceptable to you?)

Please, try to play fair and do not abuse anyone for whatever reason. Avoid imposing collective guilt on individuals making them personally responsible for the things they did not do.

SC
 
Thanks alot ivyguy24 I was hoping for someone to comment with something more than dump him, because he is an amazing guy, and we are really good together, but I feel as though his ex is still very important to him.
 
ok, well my personal prejudices aside, IF you have no problem being treated like a sex toy by some guy who's hung up on his ex-wife, I say go for it.

Just be reaady for lots and lots of lonely nights, shitty sex, excuses and disappointment.
 
VICTORIADON said:
Ack... this is in hot topics again, this time I will comment.
As newboy12 says, don't get emotionaly involved with him.

I will add: most , not all, most Bi guys use gay guys as their personal cum rag and throw them away, do the same to your bi guy.
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SOILWORK said:
ok, well my personal prejudices aside, IF you have no problem being treated like a sex toy by some guy who's hung up on his ex-wife, I say go for it.

Just be reaady for lots and lots of lonely nights, shitty sex, excuses and disappointment.
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oh PLEASE, do you know how many gay men do the EXACT same thing? :rolleyes:

Lots of gay men will treat other men like an expendable sex object to be used and cast aside.

Do you know how many gay men there are that are fixated on their last partner/relationship and don't know how to let things go?

marco9999-It sounds like he's being very open with you and wants to keep having a relationship with you; but he's just telling you how he is having some concerns right now with a friend of his; but how he doesn't want to end the relationship with you.

Why not talk to him and ask him how he is doing or about YOUR relationship with him? You know him a lot better than any of us do and I don't think that you should just end it right now since it's obvious that you both care about each other.

He is being honest with you and telling you how he still wants a relationship with you.
 
XLeatherX said:
Lots of gay men will treat other men like an expendable sex object to be used and cast aside.
Click to expand...


Of course they do.

but what we're talking about here is a recently divorced father.

I certainly didn't mean to suggest that bisexual men are more likely to treat their sex partners like sex toys (in this thread, anyway), but I DID mean to suggest that a recently divorced guy who's ex-wife has him on emotional speed-dial isn't a worth-while boyfriend or anything other than "fuck buddy".

And even then, they're not really good at it.

In my rather extensive experience, men who are older and only recently out all suck in bed.. women have taught them to be gentle lovers, and they carry so much baggage and gulit into bed with them that there's little room to thrust...|
 
Thanks XLeatherX I feel the same, I feel as though he still wants a relationship with me. Hopefully we can work this out, I plan on talking with him soon.
 
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