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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Bored now

slnattak

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This is becoming ridiculous.

You say not to flame. It's a safe zone.

But there are a million gazillion threads about the same issues. The advice they need to take seems pretty clear. So why aren't they doing it? It's like nobody is respecting me or listening to what I'm saying. Like... It's just going in one ear and out the other, like you can't really listen to anything that I'm saying even though, I'm a little older than most of you (but not many) and I pretty know from real life experiences what the hell I'm talking about.

I'm understanding, sympathetic, we've all been there. But why won't they take any action to solve their dillemma? You do realize though , since you supposedly prop "Manliness" on a pedastal that things only get better when you take ACTION, riiiiiight?

It's like they don't know what they want yet. They say they're gay. But they don't wanna be around other gay men irl due to internalized shame due to high expectations. (They both expect gay men to hold their hands and coddle them every step of the way AND they expect every gay man to be a murderous cruel asshole to them.) But considering the things you guys say ABOUT YOUR OWN KIND, do you blame us?

They meet a gay man, and they're not 'man enough' for them. They /le sigh over their straight friend from afar but don't make anything happen with anything. They say the straight friend might really be gay. But won't take any sort of risk to test that theory. Can't even ask directly. And say "Are you gay?"

They're waiting for the world to change. Waiting for everything to be neat and perfect or something. What the hell. Life isn't a movie. You never know how people are gonna react when you come out. That's the whole point.

It's about basic respect and dignity and while in social situations it's considered respectful to keep certain specifics about what you like to do in bed private, if you think you have to keep general gayness totally to yourself then well you will only attract more back of the same: Other self-loathing losers.

If you're worried about being judged fired from your job are you kidding? There are so many rich creative gays. You just have to find your own niche and what you're own good at. And my guess is, it's not THIS. It's not 'whining to strangers on a message board and /emo cutting our wrists. Those straight guys are sooo strong and powerful!!!

I'm bored. Can we get aids again so at least we'll protect each other again?
 
As for getting offended for my 'crude' way of speaking, or something, are you insane?

I'm looking out for you. You're just too dumb and naive to understand. I actually do NOT want to beat you up and kill you like the mean bullies you eroticize in your fantasies and your porn. I'm actually trying to HELP you.

Will you take the help, or will you go right back to your slow suicide internet faggin ways?

You want pity , compassion, I CAN'T FEEL SORRY FOR LOSERS WHO CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES.

Life has to beat you up. That's it. Porn has sheltered you. Put you in a cocoon.

Idk. But I look at the gay men living in the real world and the nerds on here and I'm like 'just come OUT already. It's so much better on THIS side of the rainbow.'

Or was that 'too politically correct' gay for you. Did I have to say that in a straighter way? Do I have to say 'bruh' and shit?

That's gay.

Next!
 
what I don't understand is there are a lot of single masculine closeted gay men looking for other single masculine closeted gay men and there's no website for them to find each other. I'm not talking the basket cases that haven't decided man or woman, or man for now then marriage with women, or denial, etc etc. I'm talking gay men that fall for straight men when they could just find masculine men.

I understand your frustration bud, but at the same token, everything is always easier said than done. I find myself falling into traps that I know I shouldn't do, almost daily. It sucks and support from this community helps even though it may seem like it doesn't.

Thanks for trying though :)
 
Talk about no flame! You seem to have wound yourself up to the point where you might spontaneously combust while at the same time failing to be of any help to anyone. It may seem all straight forward and black and white to you but there are others to whom it isn't. Don't judge everybody by your own standards, lets allow a bit of individuality.

Sure there are repetitious themes in here but many with a problem feel that it is personal to them and so may not bother to search the threads to find one that applies. To help people requires a certain amount of patience and understanding which it seems that you have in very short supply at the moment.

Calm down, breathe then read what you have written again.
 
Thanks. Now I have venom on my clean shirt.

Channelling Larry Kramer, are we? Though I think even he would never wish for another AIDS epidemic (seriously, were you high?). I suppose you came out of the closet when you came out of your mother. You have never ever experienced any kind of pain, problems or issues because you were gay. Nope, because you have always been the strong and stable man you supposedly are today.

Somehow I doubt that. You just had your demons, like we all did, and apparently came out on the other end a stronger person. Except for one little shortsighted thing: you apparently lost the ability to see that there are others who do struggle. Who are struggling with coming out, with homophobic surroundings, with relationships... the fact that you apparently cannot empathise beyond "don't be an emo kid" does not reflect a weakness on their part, but on yours.

There's nothing wrong with a little tough love in the right places, but this is ridiculous. I don't know what brought on this bile, but it's short-sighted and, to me at least, offensive.
If you really feel this board is full of "self-loathing losers", there's always the option of not coming here again. Simple. Effective. Wholesome.
 
my flame burns bright and I'm not worried about it, I have not problem meeting men, gay or otherwise. Maybe if you weren't so bitter you might be approached for friendship and companionship. I guess I should ask, is this rant personal or an overall general view directed at other rants and gay men that complain about men being too gay or gay but don't look or act gay? A little clarity would help
 
I don't mind the repetitive topics as people tend to think we need to know their unique circumstances and to some degree that does help. I also understand that some people need to work up the courage to follow the advice. The two cases that bother me are those who are essentially here to just blog about what happened today with have no intention of following any advice given and those who have to tell everyone why their advice is wrong. Don't waste our time if you have no intention of even considering the advice given.
 
come on, can you honestly say that you've never ignored a friends advice or acted against your better judgment in a situation involving a guy you liked?

something happens to people (male and female) that makes us do stupid shit even if we know better or are given good advice.

if it's never happened to you then good for you, but no need to bitch and moan when people don't take your advice. i can see why hardheadedness annoys you but seriously, cut em some slack and get off your high horse. If it gets to you so much then don't read the threads
 
Well...you're bored.

Get off the fucking computer then and go out and really do something to help others.
 
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