born gay or not?

[keops832]

i went to a psychologist in my city and he told me that i am gay not because i was born like that, but because my father left me when i was a child and i've became very attached to my mother during childhood. he also said something about the Oedipus complex. he said what i have is a behavioral disorder and can be corrected. he told me that in order for me to heal, i must remove all material with homosexual content from my computer, stop talking with gays, and try to redirect my feelings and emotions towards women or if not, to ignore and repress them further. i simply can't stop thinking about my feelings. it causes me to accumulate more anger and despair, but this doctor just doesn't get it. all i know is that i was emotionally attached to boys as early as kindergarten and the erotic attractions developed in puberty. is this man's theory correct, or was i born gay? can the feelings be annihilated in any way?

P.S. i've also read on wikipedia that psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud also held that the unsuccessful resolution of the Oedipus complex could result in neurosis, and homosexuality.

 

[SantaCBear]

Bucharest I see...

 

[keops832]

uh.. yeah, i'm sure most of you never even heard of it. but it's one of the most homophobic cities in all Europe.

 

[SantaCBear]

one of the most homophobic cities in all Europe.

That is what I was thinking but didnt want to comeout and say it.

IMHO, your psychologist is still in the 1800s. They him it's 2007 and he should catch-up on his profession.

 

[HungLawboy27]

I also can remember having feelings when I was very young about boys. I used to think that something was wrong with me. I realized one day that this is who I AM! Im happy with that. I believe that we chose our lives from the beginning. I feel that for whatever reasons I came to this life to accomplish me being gay is apart of this experience. Be Well!

 

[versa39]

do yourself a favor, find a new doctor..one that actually reads about updated things in the pysch journals instead of throwing them away.

 

[JackFTwist]

his doctor is stuck in his prejudices as well as 1900s thunking. Get a new psychologist because this one is doing you harm.

If father leaving in childhood "made" guys gay, there would be millions more of us.

 

[jockboy01]

Yeah, the guy is way out of date. Pyschologists stopped trying to "treat" homosexuality many years ago. It's not changeable and attempts to do so only made things worse for the individual.

As to being born gay... I think so. There are two schools of thought (or blended) regarding it either being innate versus environmental factors at a very young age. I think we are born gay personally. Either way, it is well accepted that it is NOT a choice.

 

[keops832]

yeah, and what i'm trying to tell my parents is this can't be undone. mankind hasn't found a solution to change sexual orientation yet. and those "reparative therapists" only make you live a lie.

 

[Raven03]

Obviously he is still stuck in the past and probably has issues with homosexuals.

 

[thisisinteresting]

I don't feel, in my case, that I was born gay. I do not fit the gay stereotype very well.

blah blah preconceived incorrect ideas of how homosexuals act

Dude, no. Just... no. Being gay has nothing, and I repeat NOTHING to do with being feminine, wearing girl clothes, talking in a high voice or a lisp, or ANY of those abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous things you just said. I'm gay, always have been, always will be, and I will never understand what makes some guys act like that. Being feminine like that is in their character and their choices, being gay does NOT do anything like that to you! Jesus! I'd expect that from a straight guy, but come on.

None of you are gay because you were attached your moms. Any good mother will have a child be attached to her, that's just fucking nature. Hell, to contrast that situation, I grew up without my mom in my life 90% of the time after my parents got divorced when I was young. I've had very unopressive, free, logical parents who would never do anything to even remotely harm me. I've never been that attached to my mother or had an oedipus complex or anything (your psychiatrist or whatever is a complete fucking moron, topic creator). Anyway, so if the supposed lack of a male father figure turns you gay (SO RIDICULOUS), why am I gay? Do you really think it was some childhood event that triggered it? I've never had any traumatic experiences in my life, or anything of the sort. I've always been gay, though. Never been attracted to women, never will be.

Homosexuality is prevalent in many species of animals, not just humans. It's not a social morphing that turns you homosexual. You are born with the attraction or potential attraction to whatever gender or genders. It's not something you can help, it's not something you can treat, it's not something you can change! I'm actually a bit offended by some of the attitude's people here have about homosexuality, to be honest. Maybe you have to be homosexual to get it, but everyone who was 'cured' from homosexuality, or 'changed' or anything even similar is just lying to themselves and I know I'm right. It just. doesn't. work. like. that.

The gay stereotype is so ridiculous that when I hear someone say that they don't think they were born gay because they don't fit the stereotype, I honestly get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Please don't think like that. I'm not even exaggerating when I say that all my straight friends act gayer than I do.

 

[Yooper]

keops, I'm about to graduate with a degree in psychology...and I've heard about this quite a bit. Your doctor is...in a manner of speaking...full of shit. The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) which is the psychologist's bible in terms of disorder diagnosis, removed homosexuality from it in 1974. It was then regarded as healthy and nothing wrong. And it has been since proven that attempting to change ones sexuality can result in dangerous psychological damage. I suggest you find a new therapist!!

Ummmm, what he said.

 

[Raven03]

Dude, no. Just... no. Being gay has nothing, and I repeat NOTHING to do with being feminine, wearing girl clothes, talking in a high voice or a lisp, or ANY of those abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous things you just said. I'm gay, always have been, always will be, and I will never understand what makes some guys act like that. Being feminine like that is in their character and their choices, being gay does NOT do anything like that to you! Jesus! I'd expect that from a straight guy, but come on.

None of you are gay because you were attached your moms. Any good mother will have a child be attached to her, that's just fucking nature. Hell, to contrast that situation, I grew up without my mom in my life 90% of the time after my parents got divorced when I was young. I've had very unopressive, free, logical parents who would never do anything to even remotely harm me. I've never been that attached to my mother or had an oedipus complex or anything (your psychiatrist or whatever is a complete fucking moron, topic creator). Anyway, so if the supposed lack of a male father figure turns you gay (SO RIDICULOUS), why am I gay? Do you really think it was some childhood event that triggered it? I've never had any traumatic experiences in my life, or anything of the sort. I've always been gay, though. Never been attracted to women, never will be.

Homosexuality is prevalent in many species of animals, not just humans. It's not a social morphing that turns you homosexual. You are born with the attraction or potential attraction to whatever gender or genders. It's not something you can help, it's not something you can treat, it's not something you can change! I'm actually a bit offended by some of the attitude's people here have about homosexuality, to be honest. Maybe you have to be homosexual to get it, but everyone who was 'cured' from homosexuality, or 'changed' or anything even similar is just lying to themselves and I know I'm right. It just. doesn't. work. like. that.

The gay stereotype is so ridiculous that when I hear someone say that they don't think they were born gay because they don't fit the stereotype, I honestly get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Please don't think like that. I'm not even exaggerating when I say that all my straight friends act gayer than I do.

Jashkidonga1, you really need to get out more because you seem to buy into the bullshit stereotypes that the media throws out there. There are alot of gay men that are assumed to be straight when in reality they aren't due to the fact they don't fall under a certain stereotype. Not all gay men are fem, have lisp, etc. Just like paying attention to the media you wouldn't know that there is more than just half naked men and drag queens at pride.

Being gay has nothing to do with the way you were raised. Your either are or your not . There is no such thing as turning gay.

Also fyi, most men who are cross dressers are in fact heterosexual men.

BTW, nice post, thisisintresting.

 

[luminum]

I don't feel, in my case, that I was born gay. I do not fit the gay stereotype very well. All my friends are straight and "manly"? (for lack of a better word). I don't speak with a high voice. I don't like to dress in women's clothes (though I have tried, and just felt extremely weird and grossed out, like seeing your parents in mid-action). I like Paint ball and Counter-Strike. And, I'm not "Fabulous!"... god I hate a feminate voices.

What I think triggered homosexuality for myself is like some of the other stories I was ripped away from my mother at a young age (It still very slightly affects me now in college). I really didn't ever have a great father figure in my life, I basically hated my father till 16+. Ever since then I've been attached to my mother. I don't know if that is my exact reason, but, it could be? It seems it may be a little like the OP.

Maybe someone else could have some better insight

Wow. And to think, at one point people said you were made gay because your mother was too involved in your life. Then it was because your mother was frigid and distant. Then it was because you lacked a caring father. How much blame do we plan on heaping and jumping to each parent and how many times is it going to change? Maybe the sign here is that it's NOT about parenting, loving or frigid.

BTW, I don't dress in women's clothing, I don't talk with a high voice, and I play videogames and a slew of sports. I can definitely tell you that I'm one of many, so yes, your perceptions of homosexuality are narrow and incomplete.

 

[LarsVenice]

Everyone has heard of Bucharest, since it is the capital or Romania, and they must learn about it in geography class. Also there are others from you city here as well. I man I work with is from Romania, although I do admit that I have a difficult time understanding him.

If you need therapy, definitely change therapists and find one that is gay friendly. I used to go to a gay therapist when I lived in San Francisco, but before that I saw a straight therapist who was unconcerned whether I was gay or straight. At that time, I was frigid, and he was trying to help me get over that and have sex with either men or women (or both), as I chose. He did encourage me to try both to see which I liked better, but it was not hard for me to tell that I liked men. I could tell from slow dancing with women that they did not turn me on.

I happen to fit the stereotype more than not, but I've learned that the stereotypes for gays only apply to a minority. Whether you fit the stereotype or not, if you are sexually attracted to men, you are gay, and that's all there is to it. I was not brought up any differently from my two straight brothers either.