Bottoming & Fingering

[Corny]

Imho a finger is lot more uncomfortable than a dick
But it's great for loosening up

Oh .. and I wouldn't do it with "a close friend" ..

 

[fjancsi80]

Fingering is a different feeling than bottoming. Personally I don't like it at all but I enjoy a dick in my ass very much.

 

[MainEntry]

I think you really need to "want it" and not just experiment. The advice about not doing it with a "friend" is also wise. Even if you try to loosen up, you might cause your sphincter to constrict. You must "push out" to achieve the opposite, i.e., open up.

Good luck and play safe.

 

[PhunkSpunk]

I never used to be, but recently I've started to re-evaluate my ideas about anal sex. A very close friend has shown interest in topping me and he suggested preparing myself by fingering while jerking off. Now, I've never done that and, while the idea of being topped is extremely arousing, when I finger myself it either hurts or feels...New. Not necessarily "pleasurable" nor "painful" either.

I use lots of lube, but I'm very tight. I just can't seem to relax. He jokes that I couldn't bottom for a mouse!

Any suggestions, experiences, advice?

It's always good to get the hole relaxed and used to having something in it before fucking it. The anal sphincter is as sensitive as the head of your cock or nipples. like those, if you play it just right it will be a source of ecstasy. Treat it too harshly and it'll just be a pain in the butt, lol!

I'm going to suggest that you watch Corbin Fisher videos that feature 'Lucas' topping. For a so-called 'straight stud', he's actually become very good at preparing a bottom's ass for the main event. He's an enthusiastic rimmer, alternating between gently licking and vigorously munching down and tongue-fucking his bottom. Then he introduces a lubed finger, and then another.

Good idea to get a fair amount of lube inside your hole prior to insertion.

A really good prep job can go a long way towards mitigating the 'size' factor; and my opinion is that once it's in size isn't a major factor -- 'it ain't the meat it's the motion', lol. A good top will be aware of your comfort and pleasure, and will alternate between rowdy drilling and long, slow thrusts.

Mix up positions. I like to start off missionary, only cuz i get off on seeing my partner's face as his cock first feels my tightness. however, different positions will give you different sensations. doggie is really hot if ur in a rowdy animal mood and want to be 'mounted', lol! personally, i love getting slapped on the cheeks when a dude is drilling me from behind. The other great thing about rear entry is that your partner can work your ears and neck with his mouth, and his hands are free to play with your nipples, cock, and nuts.

Hygiene. It's a good idea to make sure you're empty before assplay. Anal stimulation can be cathartic (i.e. make you wanna pooh) Fleet enemas are about a buck, and will clean you out. Ever the boyscout, I always try to be prepared

Some guys use poppers to relax their anal sphincters. Personally, I've never like 'em -- all they do is give me a headache. Will leave this up to you.

Lastly, cumming with a cock in you takes orgasm to another level altogether

 

[bullwing413]

find a gentle, understanding mouse.

 

[NW007]

Check out my last blog entry as it relates to this question.

 

[versatastic]

I usually don't like to finger myself, but if someone else wants to I'm all for it. A good ass muncher can get me loose in no time , and spit is a great lube. Maybe your friend can take his time and play with your ass for a bit while you just lie there so you can focus on relaxing. You have to make an effort not to resist the penetration by squeezing your sphincter. Assuming you're all cleaned up down there, try to act like youre letting a fart go or trying to squeeze out a fat turd, but don't bare down or you might develop hemorroids or anal fissures.

Since you're new to bottoming, you might just have to take it when he inserts his penis and don't tell him to stop. Make sure he starts very slow and shallow without pulling out, but it would be best if he just holds his penis in you for a couple minutes. This will force your spincter to relax because it's constantly being stretched while it's trying to contract, so it will eventually fatigue and completely relax.

A big problem with younger guys is that once they're in they start pumping like a jack hammer while I'm trembling in pain . And then since they're young and don't have much experience with guys, they're done before it starts to really feel good for me . That's why I tend to bottom only for older guys who are patient and can last longer, with or without viagra, or guys who have time to have a good long session and can take some direction. Yes, I can be a very aggressive bottom . I like it rough but it still has to feel good, not like my anus is being torn apart.

 

[Corny]

oh hello mr fuckbuddy .. erm .. i meant "close friend"

hmm puts this in a new dimension

 

[PhoenixRising]

^Wow. That's all I have to say.

 

[KaraBulut]

*pulls up a chair*

Popcorn, anyone?

 

[Corny]

That was someone else, stalker.

oh well that was worth a try, and it was worth it, since now i got to see a pic of you where you are at least pretty close to be smiling

to be on topic again .. in another recent thread some people recommended this thing

http://www.aneros.com/default.php

as a good toy for "virgins".

 

[Eternaldarkness]

advices:

1. Cut all fingernails!
2. Try one finger first for a few days (until you get comfortable with that feeling.)
3. Don't just finger it like there's no tomorrow! take your time. Wiggle things around feeling a bit inside there.
4. Push out when inserting, relax when finger is fully inside (or up the farthest point.)
5. Other hand masturbation, don't let that dick looses interest, you will too.
6. When the time comes, try two finger slowly.
7. Sometimes when your new to bottoming, don't try to finger to deep.
8. A great and pleasureable feeling is when you move the two fingers simultaneously (like trying to type the J and K key or tapping the mouse buttons)
9. Always end it with an orgasm... its a great way to enjoy fingering.

Last advice: If you really want to enjoy it..since fingering is kinda hard sometimes and your shoulder/arms get tired.. you might can try to get a small toy. Insert the toy, leave it in there, and jerk off while enjoying the sensation of the toy in your stretching hole.. Its easier to ride something when your maturbating, cause it takes the pain away.

 

[rickdboy]

Hi Antares
Sounds like you aer getting lots of great advice.
Bottoming is something else and something to find you own stride on.
For me bottoming was an entirley new experience as I had in a heterosexual marriage, been an exclusive top for too many years.

When I came out and learned that wanted to be a bottom it was still a little while before that became as enjoyable as it is now. I don't find it easy to finger myself as it gets a bit tedious and not very pleasurable but having someone who cares enough to work my arse with his finger then it is close to heaven.

I had two boyfriends who topped me and helped me enjoy it and my partner now of nearly four years has a very thick cock with a massive head which has me on another planet for as long as he likes. It is not always trouble free, however, as even now a wrong move on my part or his can send my sphincter into a spasm that is exceedingly painful. So what I am saying is, along with all the other advice:

• dont be put off by single occasions when things don't work out - mostly I gobble penises but on occasions I still have to ask my partner to withdraw while I relax out of the pain and regroup
• get yourself a top who is caring about your needs and takes pleasure in giving you pleasure
• take time, spend time and enjoy the time
• tease the tops cock with your arse (play)
• let him tease your arse (play)
• getting in and getting off is only one aim in many of great anal sex - in fact my partner cant take me to such a continuous high with multiple climaxes that ejaculatory orgasm seems superfluous