The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Bottoming not for me?

S

scottyw

Joined
Jun 1, 2009
Posts
5
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Perth, Australia
Hi all, long time lurker and first time poster lol. Been facing a bit of an issue lately which is really doing my head in.
My boyfriend and I have been together coming on 6 years now, and for most of our relationship, my BF has been the bottom, but recently he's become interested in moving into a top position.
The problem is, no matter how much we try I just can't get into it, I find the entire time I'm just uncomfortable and can't get pass the pain of it all.
We've bought stuff so that I can practice (started off small), and now even upgraded to a bigger Dildo as my BF is fairly more endowed than I am, but I can only ever seem to get in a small way before it becomes unbearable.
In my mind, I think I was just never meant to be a bottom, but my BF really wants it to happen, and I want it to happen for him, but because it's becoming such an issue, I'm shying away from sex more and more in the hope of having to avoid trying to bottom.

I'm just not sure if perhaps I'm doing something wrong or if I'm just not being persistent enough - or if it's possible that certain people aren't "built" to bottom lol.
 
Whats going through your mind when your bottoming for your bf?
 
Some people just are not bottoms and do not overall enjoy it. If you are getting enjoyment from the toys you've tried, you can keep trying to see if you can get the hang of it. The key is to relax. If you don't, it'll hurt and be comfortable. Use LOTS of lube and try going slow.
 
Cheers guys - yeah my boyfriend says I'm over thinking it and focusing on the negative and that I just need to relax. He's somewhere around the 8 inch or so mark so being my first I find the thought of it daunting :P
When it comes to practicing, if I'm persistent enough I can get to a certain point (takes a lot of effort though) but when I try to go deeper is when I have issues.
 
I honestly think that you are probably just scared and that is preventing you from relaxing. You have already said that your boyfriend is well endowed and that, as your first, that was intimidating. I know from experience that problematic bottoming can certainly be a result of being apprehensive about it. When I first started having sexual experiences with guys I defined myself as a total top and when I would try to bottom it would be painful or uncomfortable and I would have to stop it. Finally, after years of learning more about myself, I realized that I didn't want to be a bottom because of what that might mean about me and my relationship as I was the top in a relationship with a total bottom. Now that I have gotten over those fears and insecurities, I find I actually enjoy bottoming more, much to the chagrin of my sex partners, most of whom feel like anyone with 8+" should always top.

The birds thing you can do is learn to let your mind admit that you want it, if you do. I'm not saying that it isn't possible that you just don't like it and never will, but if you do like it you'll have to admit that to yourself before you can enjoy it.

And above all else, USE A TON OF LUBE, this is one place where a little bit really won't go a long way. That could be one of your issues, since you say you have problems getting things to go deeper.
 
Don't forget to try different positions. Missionary is a good position for those that are new to bottoming. It's more intimate, you'll have better communication with your partner, and you'll be able to control the angle of penetration.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top