Boyfriend and Porn

[P00hBear]

Hey guys I'm new to the site. So I'm currently in a three month relationship with a guy that i sincerely care about. We haven't been able to see each other as often as we'd like lately because he has school on the weekdays and on the weekends he's babysitting or going to work. Lately he said that he's had to watch a lot of porn because he was frustrated from not being about to see me so often and do stuff together. For some reason, even though i watch porn too, i got offended? I felt like i wasn't good enough and became really insecure. So for all you guys that have bfs, are you okay with them watching porn? How do you feel about? And what can i do to see this differently and not be so hard on myself.

thanks!

 

[TX-Beau]

Join in. Blow him while he's watching the porn - you get the idea. I don't know a man on the planet who prefers his hand to an actual partner. If you're there, he's not watching so much of the porn is he.

Porn is fantasy, even if he's not watching porn, he's still got the fantasies.

You can also look at it this way, if he's watching the porn for relief, he's not out cheating on you.

 

[G-Lexington]

I'm totally fine with him watching porn. I tend more towards written erotica than porn, but I do it, too.

I don't expect to fulfill all of his sexual desires, just as I can't fulfill all his social desires. He loves movies, I don't really, so he has friends he goes and sees movies with. And that's great. He get to see his movies, I don't get dragged to one I don't want to see, everybody's happy. Similarly, he might - oh, let's pick something that isn't true. Say he enjoys getting off - not exclusively, but in addition to other things - on seeing muscular tattooed guys getting topped by guys in military outfits. He watches the porn and jerks off, and I don't have to work out or go shopping for army fatigues. Win-win.

Lex

 

[racer2438]

I give you some advise from a person who just celebrated there 25th aniversary--me and my honey.


You are making way to much of this than what it is. This is so petty that this can be the gain of sand that can turn into a boulder. He told you he watches porn because you both have not been able to spend time together.

Thats telling you that he values you and needs more of you both together. So to pass the time when you are not there he watches porn.

My honey watches more porn than I do and it does not bother me one bit. He actually learns new ideas,postions, toys to keep our sex life exciting. which we have better and more sex now than when we met.


Watch porn with him, blow him while he watches, spend more time, do phone sex, get web cam and watch each other....
So I think you are making to much out of this, and it's a bit on the immature side for you to do this.

That my take on it, do what you will, but we did not get to 25yrs together by being getting upset over petty things. Life's to short....

 

[CudDULL]

Theres no need to be offended, like he said, he has been frustrated that he hasnt been able to be with you so you used porn, which is better than him cheating on you with someone else. Just put yourself in his shoes, you watch porn too would he be offend about that?

 

[Alberto_15]

you are making a big deal out of nothing in my opinion.

 

[bankside]

I would be offended too. Porn is fun on its own, or fun to share, but it is not a substitute for me. Less me does not equal more porn, because porn and I are not interchangeable.

In the big picture, it was just a stupid comment that was not very smooth. I wouldn't worry about it too much, but I can see why it bugged you.

Oh... I didn't actually answer your question.

 

[bankside]

...and now it times out for making edits...

Yes, my BF and I both look at porn, occasionally together. Sometimes it is just the warm-up to spending some naked time with each other. But in that way it contributes to a hot time together, it doesn't substitute for it.

 

[aijalon18]

Why? My guess is you are like lots of people, that pathologically think of their mates as "yours", or "your property" to be more exact. Most I've seen get upset and list a reason like, "but that's supposed to be ours to share and no one else's" or similar. Sorry, but you don't own anyone. You share each other.

The other possible reason, is the whole low self-esteem issue. "My god ain't I enough" is usually the refrain from this crowd. Puleeeeeze. No, you ain't enough. You're not supposed to be. A relationship is not some slavish addiction to someone else, but rather a coming together of separate but equal people wanting to share their lives with someone. Not seeking out someone else to fill some hole one has in his personality.

You took the words right out of my mouth. It always perplexes me when people get bent out of shape over porn. People think when they get in relationships that their partner should never look at another person or have any physical attraction for another person for the rest of their lives. It is so ridiculous. I think it's like society tells us that is what love is. They sell us on the idea of soulmates and there being only one person for you ever. It's just not true and I think you are right it is the OPs own self-esteem issue more than anything else.

 

[Lube]

It depends.

Is he doing porn instead of you? Or is he doing porn when you're not around? Do you have enough sex when you are together/have time?

 

[D-Base]

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it...

Also, look at the bright side, he's being sincere with you...

Btw, I'm okay with my bf watching porn if I'm not around... I'm also okay to watch porn together...