Boyfriend Issues

[doriangray]

I know this might seem long but please read, I need help

Ok Me and my boyfriend have been together for about two months we are both in college and he is my first boyfriend.

I kinda feel like the relationship is kinda getting less interesting. We are always together and sometimes I feel like its awesome and other times when I'm with him I feel like its taxing on me. I have fun with him and everything but other times i don't have fun at all.

I used to feel really sexually attracted to him, I would want to blow him whenever I got the chance no matter what, but now I don't feel like doing it, and when I do I make him be freshly showered. The thought of doing it without him entirely clean kinda grosses me out although I don't think that I would be the same way with another guy. I like getting blowjobs and handjobs from him but Im only doing the same to him out of courtesy most of the time. The same kinda applies to kissing him. Before I would want to kiss and make out with him a lot and now it feels like a chore even when He is kissing all i can think about is ok is it almost over.

I gave him a chance because we have a lot of things in common, and because he has a good personality but now I feel that the charm that I once saw has waned. I don't think his jokes are that funny anymore, and sometimes he just annoys the hell out of me.

We've talked two weeks ago and I told him that I thought that we were spending too much time with each other. After we talked I had felt that things were gonna get better and that I just needed space but nothing changed.

I've told him that I love him and sometimes it feels like I do and other times I'm not sure. I don't mean to sound very wishy washy, and I don't want to sound like a jerk. This is all confusing to me this is my first relationship.

I don't want to sound like a jerk or anything, I don't want to hurt him he is a very nice guy, and I don't want this to end bad between us. We only have another month here at school before we go home for the summer should I wait it out and see? Should I end it?

I Need Advice you guys HELP PLEASE!!!!

 

[jensu846]

maybe when school ends you should tell him you wanna go your seperate ways this summer. Sounds like you are a nice guy and you dont want to hurt his feelings but its over and you cant bring yourself to hurt him. All the things you are describing indicates you are not "in love" with him, but simply love him as a person. I understand what you mean when you say youre doing things with him out of courtesy and just wait for it to be over. And all the quirky things that you once liked now bug you. I think its safe to say the relationship has ran its course. imo.

 

[sixthson]

First of all, you need to admit to yourself that you don't want him.
You are finding fault with everything he says and does.

Secondly, anytime someone comes here and asks a bunch of strangers if he should end it with his bf, it generally means he wants us to tell him to end it. Validation of a sorts. I won't tell you what to do other than to say you need to be honest with him before he gets hurt. I doubt you will be hurt by leaving him. You've already done that in your heart.

Finally, from what you said, it doesn't sound like you are relationship material at this time in your life.

 

[Rolyo85]

Meh, he's your first bf. Sounds like you just wanted to have one and jumped to the first available. And two months down the line - which is the usual time for these things - you realize you have no interest in the actual person. I'd say let him go. It's not his fault you don't want him.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

This sounds pretty typical to me, and what I call, "Lust Blind".

You're horny, meet a guy, the sex is great (mostly cause you're horny), you have a few things in common, and the lust takes over and you guys rush into a "relationship" thinking "This is GREAT! We'll live happily ever after!!"... But then a few weeks/months later after you've actually spent time together and getting to REALLY know each other the reality of each other isn't quite what you expected.

Then the nit picking starts... "I can't be with this guy because...." He leaves his socks on the floor. He snores. He leaves the cap off the tooth paste. OMG that one shirt he owns that I HATE. He won't dance with me. He doesn't like the same TV shows I do...

Relationships are a LOT of work, and not all the Unicorns and Rainbows people fantasize them being, especially when they're rushed into before actually getting to know each other outside the bedroom.

From what you've written, it could be you guys weren't meant for each other long term, or it could be you're just not ready for the realities of long term relationships commitments, communication, compromises, and understanding. Only you can answer that.

Relationships are like anything else in life - they take PRACTICE. Live, and learn by your mistakes and try to do better on the next one. Because it didn't work out doesn't mean you're a failure by any means - which took me a long time to figure out... and I HAVE been where you are now. Several times!!!

 

[TX-Beau]

True love is when he leaves his smelly socks on the floor, and (major issue with me) puts the dvds in the wrong cases when he bothers to put them back at all - and you still don't want to leave.

Yes you are going to get annoyed with the guy you love, and he's going to piss you off, but the difference is, you want to leave.

GET OUT!!! It's crueler to lead him on and prolong the torture because you don't want to be the bad guy.

Be the bad guy. Tell him you had a good run, and he's a good guy - for someone else. Then don't delude yourself that you can remain friends. Maybe down the road you'll be friends, but not for awhile.

 

[Seasoned]

Never be guilt tripped into being in a relationship. Tell him you jumped in too fast.

 

[Just_Believe18]

If this is how you are feeling, you can't force it to be something different otherwise. I feel bad for your boyfriend, but you need to break up with him sooner than later.

 

[LatinCoffee]

Wow--it seems like you want your cake & eat it, too! You should just be honest with your feelings with him. If you're not happy with him...let him go so that he can perhaps be with someone who can truly appreciate him.

 

[doriangray]

thanks for the advice you guys. Just to clarify it wasnt a just for sex thing. He asked me out and I decided to give him a shot because of his personality since he isn't three kind of guy I would usually go for and we ended up starting to date and be bfs. I wanted a legit relationship, and so did he. Anyways I was asking originally whether I was just going through a phase and it would blow over. Anyways thats irrelevant now I came to my senses and I broke up with him. I decided that in the long run I would hurt him more by dragging it on. I told him that he was an amazing guy but that we just weren't working out ( I really do think he is I wasn't lying ) I feel bad for hurting him but it had to be done for the both of us. I hope he gets over me quickly and finds the guy he deserves.

 

[Seasoned]

You did the right thing. It will be a transition for you as well, so be mindful of that. Take care.

 

[tonystark121]

I used to feel really sexually attracted to him, I would want to blow him whenever I got the chance no matter what, but now I don't feel like doing it, and when I do I make him be freshly showered. The thought of doing it without him entirely clean kinda grosses me out although I don't think that I would be the same way with another guy.

Well theres a giant red flag.........