The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Boyfriend Not Responding

J

josher

Sergei Monsoon
Joined
Jun 7, 2005
Posts
5,353
Reaction score
1
Points
0
No offense, but you are clearly a very high maintenance boyfriend.

If I were he, I'd be looking for someone a bit more laid back.

As you get a little older, I hope you learn that making a set of demands to your partner is the worst way to maintain a relationship.

Trying to force someone to text/phone you isn't communication. It's tyranny.
 
On the one hand, you sound overly clingy and needy and you may just be pushing him away with all of your demands and texts. The more you bug him, the less he'll want to respond and eventually you'll get the brush off.

On the other hand, enough of my fag hags have gone through this with boyfriends where I want to say he's just being a dick and that he isn't interested anymore, that he probably just used you for sex or got into the relationship before he was ready to really commit or god knows what else and is just too much of an asshole or chickenshit or idiot to give you the courtesy of a breakup.

Either way I think you need to talk to him WITHOUT NAGGING and find out what his intentions are. You can't expect him to be up your ass just because you are up his, but maybe him reassuring you that he is still interested in being with you will be enough for you for now. But don't become one of those people who needs constant reassurance. That'll push him away too.

In the end, he may just not be a text/phone person. But you'll never know until you sit down and talk to him (and LET HIM TALK) in a calm and rational manner. Make sure he knows he can be open and honest and take your time and think about what he says before responding. The truth may surprise you.
 
freedom is allowed !!!!

freedom not to reply .... etc
 
I understand how you feel but I think you guys really need to have to communicate. If my friends can make a long distance relationship last (and by long distance I mean different continents) I know you and your boyfriend can make it work from 30 miles away.

Does he understand that you would like to hear from him on a more regular basis and do you understand that he's busy and isn't always going to be available every time you send a text message.

Even though you do come off clingy in your posts, I take you at your word that you are not. When he calls you, I think you should wait for him to call you, then you can have good conversation and don't let your emotions get in the way...listen to what he has to say...

Good luck!
 
"is very busy with his two different swim teams, the musical and yearbook"

Hello! He's busy as hell. Any of these is a big job, combine all four and you should be glad he's got time for you on the weekends.
 
1. He's giving you a hint: he's about to dump you
2. He is inconsiderate of you
3. Get ready for the breakup
 
a) He's not that into you

b) Either get used to it or move on, I suggest moving on

c) My god are you the crazy clingy boyfriend... A gentle reminder every, maybe, 2 months or so, FINE, but seriously? I'd avoid texting/calling you too the way you're going about it, because it's a bit... intense! Learn to lay back, relax, and just BE... and if you can't do that, and you need someone who's just as intense about communication and mutual maintenance, then find someone like that!
 
I think there is a communications problem, but I don't know that it's him not texting or calling. You wrote that you told him this and told him that. He may be the type of person who doesn't like being told he has to do something. He may very well resent you making such a big deal about it. The more of an issue you make it, the less likely he is to respond. Honestly it sounds like your relationship may have run it coarse and it's time to move on. If you don't want to move on, realize that you two need to talk face to face. Ask him if it bothers him that you much such a big deal about communication during the week. Let him talk and don't make demands.
 
I do not think that the original poster is out of line. To me, if someone isn't contacting me, it would probably mean to me that they just aren't that into me. usually when you really want to be with someone, you will do what you can to stay in contact with that person. If you didn't want to talk to them, or have conversations with them, they why would you even bother being in a relationship?
 
dannomite03 said:
I do not think that the original poster is out of line. To me, if someone isn't contacting me, it would probably mean to me that they just aren't that into me. usually when you really want to be with someone, you will do what you can to stay in contact with that person. If you didn't want to talk to them, or have conversations with them, they why would you even bother being in a relationship?
Click to expand...

I guess it really depends on the individual circumstances, and I don't know the full story - so, sorry OP if you're actually being reasonable.

But still, either way, it does not bode well, I'm sorry to say. I really do wish you the best, and I hope you can move on from this if there is no fix, and find someone who's compatible! :D
 
He told me that he would text me 30 times a day and call me for an hour each day.
Click to expand...

I assume this is what you wanted him to do. He is understandably feeling suffocated and he probably is trying to pull away. He is obviously not as needy as you, it doesn't mean he doesn't care but I suspect he knows he is not happy trying to fulfill your expectations of him. If you want this to work out I think you need to apologise to him for being so on his case and to relax a bit and let things flow.

Of course if you really do need constant affirmation / communication then you are probably with the wrong guy. I am crap at texting as I really don't have all that much to say and I hate doing it. Doesn't mean i care any less though and those that know me accept that.
 
>>>He told me that he would text me 30 times a day and call me for an hour each day.

Were those your demands? If so, I can understand why he's not fulfilling them. A daily "thinking of you" phone call or e-mail should be sufficient.

Calm...down. Or you're going to squeeze this guy so hard he's gonna slip right out of your grasp.

Lex
 
You need to give him some space. Let him know that you'd appreciate hearing from him at least once a day. Phone call or text. Don't demand it, ask him nicely. If you're seeing him every weekend, I really don't think he should have to be texting you 30 times a day and calling you for an hour.

It seems like you're probably a clingy person by nature. There's not anything wrong with that, I am too. But some guys just need a lot more space. I think you have one of those guys. Give him some space and see how things progress. If you still can't handle it, then get a new boyfriend.

There could be some other problem with your relationship he's not talking about also. I would really try to get it out of him how he feels about the relationship now. Maybe there are some things that aren't working for him that he hasn't felt comfortable talking about. This sounds like the exact way I lost my ex. Talk to him about how you're feeling without making demands, and ask him to tell you how he's feeling.
 
I missed this part.

quote:
"He told me that he would text me 30 times a day and call me for an hour each day"

That is just too much. You would spend ALL day texting.
Text 1 or 2 times is enough.
 
Then he told you that for one reason - in an attempt to shut you up.

You obviously are on different pages here. You've talked about it, but nothing's changing. At this point, you can either simply accept it, or vote with your feet.

Lex
 
I totally understand you Volcom and I (would) also really be frustrated when my boyfriend would not answer my text messages.
On the other hand, overkill can be a danger if you answer text messages within a second. I also experienced that last week. A boy sent me over 100 messages last week. In the end, it probably was too much. But for the whole story I refer to my topic :)
 
Turn off the cell phone and find something else to occupy your time.

Relationships worked long before texting and people needing to know what each other is doing 24 hours a day.
 
nsguy2 said:
Relationships worked long before texting and people needing to know what each other is doing 24 hours a day.
Click to expand...

bingo! cut him some slack man you'll only end up pushing him away and it'll be your fault

try to learn to get along without him. being clingy isn't good for either of you
 
My bf is in the army. And it sucks because not only is there a time zone difference, btu sometimes there are communications blackouts and he cant talk to anyone even if he wanted to. Now, as much as I would love to talk to him everyday all day everytime he got on the computer, I know we would run out of things to say. Because soemtimes, you just don't have anything to talk about. And that's ok. I know that soemtimes he's online and doesn't talk to me, but i don't take it as him brushing me off.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top