Boyfriends: Where did you meet and how long have you been together?

[dutchmaster]

Hi! New to this site, but thought I would write a post. Sorry if my English isn't perfect.

I have recently been toying with the idea of dating, but am having problems. I have been in one relationship before that lasted a few months, and haven't had much luck since. We met at a party, but so far, I haven't been able to meet anyone else for a LTR.

My question is, where did you meet your boyfriend if you have one and how long have you been together? I always get down on myself because it feels like meeting someone on the internet cannot be a good way to meet someone. I guess I also get worried because I feel like gay guys can't have good relationships and are always lookng for something better.

If you are in a relationship, how did you meet, do you have similar interests, educational levels, etc? How long have you been together? Any suggestions where to look? Does internet hookup sites ever work for legitimate relationships? I want to meet someone but I am scared that it will be hard to find someone with similar interests and that will last a long time. I am in my 20s and have had too much hooking up and am bored with it.

Thanks! Again, sorry for my English and hope this made some sense.

 

[Rolyo85]

Grindr. First just as friends, then fuck buds, then boyfriends. 8 months now, and going strong.

 

[tucaz7]

Manhunt................7 years ago. Still going strong.

 

[racer2438]

I got p/u hitching in the rain after stepmom through me out, he p/u me up gave me hot shower, wash my clothes, gave my a hot meal. Not until next day did we fool around. I never left his place and that was 27+ yrs ago, this August 6 will our 28th aniversary. And I would not change a thing.....

 

[Maklaar13]

We met at a gay bar. We were both there for the same reason; we had both just gotten out of a one year bad relationship. We just wanted to have a good time, we wanted to pick a guy take him home and have lots of sex. A relationship was the last thing we both wanted. After flirting with each other for hours without saying a word, I almost choke on my beer; beer came out of my nose and was all over my new shirt, it almost ruined the moment, I had to run to the restroom to clean myself, I was terribly embarrassed, and thought maybe I should make a discreet exit and go elsewhere. When I came out of the restroom, he was waiting for me by the door, we introduced ourselves. I told him how embarrassed I was, he told me not to worry about it. I asked if I could give him a kiss, he said yes, but I only kissed him on the cheek. We were both wearing the same shirt but in different colors and we had bought them at the same store, that was weird I thought. We talked a while and we went to my place, we talked and talked. Eventually I told him we should have sex, we had lots and lots of sex that night and we stayed up till seven in the morning talking and kissing. I gave him my number but told him I was not looking for a relationship and he did not have to call me if he did not want to, and that I was fine with our one night stand. He call that afternoon and ask me out to dinner I agreed. I will never forget how my heart was pounding when he rang my door, I press the button to let him in and cautiously open the door to peek into the hallway as he was approaching my apartment, I could not believe my eyes, he was even more beautiful than I remember. What a night. Last week was our 29th anniversary. He is my soul mate and the most amazing person I have ever met.

 

[Rolyo85]

Grindr is not based on sex. Get your facts straight.

 

[King Gumby VIII]

Meet here on justusboys. 5 years and still going.

 

[Taralen]

Don't feel depressed. You will find someone. I was in your same seat. I hated relationships and I assumed I was going to end up alone the rest of my life.

You can imagine how ignorant and stupid this community is. I figured I was better off single. The few guys I went on dates with were complete assholes

I met my partner at school. I never talked to him ever. I downloaded grindr out of sheer comedy purposes and he was on there.

We been together for a whole year now. I love him so much. Plus Italian men are so hot. :luv2

There is someone out there for you. Don't give up. Don't discourage yourself. Love yourself before you love someone else.

.

 

[dale_nx26]

at my alma mater's bus stop. been about 1 year and 9 months, and my first relationship. I'm 22.

I was a junior, basically had given up hope in finding a relationship. My friend and I decided to go to the nearby popular club for a Halloween party; I decided it was to be just fun and not to seek out anybody. We sat down at the bus stop, and a guy sitting near us said hi and inquired about our evening. Short chat at first. Got on the bus, he sat near us, my friend outted us to him, then had more short convo. Thought he was cute but wanted to be discreet in seeming interested to not creep him out. He decided to hang/dance with us throughout the night. There was a moment when he left us for a while, with me thinking "eh, oh well" while also feeling a bit sad because I was kind of used to being disappointed in that aspect. He came back, danced with us some more. Later we ran to catch the last bus back to campus. While waiting at the bus stop, we made out (AMAZING, and making my friend feel awkward, haha). A few weeks later he asked me out. He has always wondered why I'm so perfect for being his first; I never told him that reading all these relationship problems on various gay forums had helped me know how to act and deal with issues.

That's all. Good luck!

 

[queenoftheshow]

Kindergarten. We were five. :]

 

[Brian Smith]

Well, I met a guy through another channel, and it had turned out that 1) he was really straight and god lonesome occasionally, and 2) he had the emotional development of a very nice and well behaved 8 year-old child (we had met through a support group for people who had developmental disorders). He had previously dated another guy who had turned into a sort of protective father figure for similar reasons.

The other guy and I started hanging out and traveling together. Now, I had no idea that he was bi at first because he had been in a loving marriage with a woman, but he eventually opened up to me enough to tell me about a guy who had been his lover for several years. He let on that I kind of reminded me of this guy. He didn't make any overtures or anything.

Well, one night while we were vacationing, we had had a lot to drink, and he apparently had some sort of flashback experience where he thought he was with the guy that he had been in a relationship earlier in his life. It was entirely unintentional, but he ended up inadvertently making a move in his sleep.

As for why we were sleeping in the same bed, we had both gotten too tipsy to go to the trouble of pulling out the fold-out sofa bed they had in the motel room. As far as why the other guy wasn't vacationing with us, he suffered from profound agoraphobia, and he tended to have a panic attack if he got more than a few miles from where he lived.

I was really okay with it because I really didn't read much into it at all. I really didn't care. However, he felt like we ought to acknowledge it to the guy I had been dating. He felt very guilty over it, and he wanted to come clean.

To my surprise, the guy I had been dating said, "To tell you the truth, if you guys are starting to kindle something, I am kind of relieved. I had really never intended for things to go this far, and I've been feeling smothered." And I realized that, for the past month, he had been treating me more like a buddy than a lover, and he had been getting antsy anytime I tried to start anything. And I thought, "This guy really is hopelessly straight."

Now, my first thought was, "Well, what the fuck." After that, my partner and I didn't really start having a relationship. He thought the age gap issue was going to be too much. As some here know, it is rather huge. We tried being friends. I was going to spend a while playing the field, and we'd continue hanging out and drinking together. I'd go on doing odd jobs for him for a much higher pay than the work warranted in order to help support my college education.

The thing is, we increasingly became "friends who had sex with each other." Now, I just kept on being under the understanding that we were not even in a relationship because that is what he kept insisting. He kept insisting that it was unrealistic for us. He kept insisting that it wouldn't work for us to be in a relationship besides one between friends.

Well, when I tested that theory and got laid one night out on the town, we got into one hell of a fight over it, and then both of us realized, somewhat to our chagrin, that we had ended up in a relationship with each other, however inadvertently, and we could either be adults about it or continue behaving like imbecilic children.

We opted for behaving like adults, which for us involved establishing rules and guidelines and figuring out our boundaries. The relationship has really been very good for both of us as far as I can tell. We've got a thriving garden, I'm advancing in my education and career, I can do things for him that he's no longer physically able to do thereby saving him tons of money he would otherwise have had to spend on having someone come over to help him, he's in such unbelievable health for his age that his cardiologist is threatening to have his eyes examined to make sure he is reading my partner's lab results correctly, our relationship has a lot more romance than most relationships that have been ongoing for more than 2 years, my relationship with my parents could not possibly be more ideal, and it's working out pretty well for both of us.

And the guy I originally met him through still calls him every night because he really has nobody else in his life who will talk to a 6'4" tall 8 year-old. I really wish he hadn't been so hopelessly straight. He's such a sweet and gentle person, he deserves to have somebody.

 

[Brian Smith]

I always get down on myself because it feels like meeting someone on the internet cannot be a good way to meet someone.

Opportunity knocks at your door 5 times daily. The only thing keeping you from finding a partner is the fact that you won't answer the door. Reality is that the story of some handsome stud coming in on a white horse is never going to happen, and you are going to have to start up a relationship with a *gasp* human being. That means a human being who has the same kind of issues and shit that you have.

Make yourself useful to that person, and be someone whom that person can relate. Be that person's therapist. Be the person who understands that person's issues and where that person is coming from. Start off by being the giving partner in the relationship. Unless you are so blind to other people's character that you end up picking either a hopeless loser or an asshole, either of which will drag you down, that person will give something back. That person will encourage you to pursue your dreams. That person would put as much into the relationship as you do.

Well, at that rate, your only problem is avoiding losers and assholes. Well, let me tell you an easy way to tell a loser: a loser is nothing more than a person who renders himself powerless. No matter what the problem is, some other force is always responsible, or somehow he's helpless to do anything about it. Don't date this guy. He doesn't want to make his life any better. He justifies his lack of progress in his life by the fact that somehow he is really powerless to do anything about it, and he sees that as the ultimate excuse card. You have to be very careful and observant because losers seem to be these amazing masters of disguise. I made the mistake of falling in with a hopeless loser once, and never again. It drained me of everything I had. Assholes are relatively easy to detect if you have even the most basic social skills, so I'm not going to give a lesson on it here.

I guess I also get worried because I feel like gay guys can't have good relationships and are always lookng for something better.

No. There are gay guys who are so strait-laced, it's kind of sad. They are so uptight, you couldn't drive a nail up their ass with an 8 pound hammer. There are plenty of guys out there who are looking for stability and a semblance of normalcy.