Bulimia?

[bobcatrex]

This is kind of a long story....

So I've never really been a very fit person. Yeah, I had the potential I suppose, but I've always been just thin. This summer I decided to begin exercising on a whim, and I actually began to see results. Subsequently, I began to watch my diet as well. Too well. I became almost obsessed with the whole thing. I cut my calorie intake and started looking at macro-nutrients. Well, all of that was before I moved into the dorm at college....

For the past 2 weeks I have been fighting myself over food. I know it sounds stupid. I would basically try to eat well all day, but I would be ravenous later on. It was miserable and I had no energy. Then one night lat week I began to eat, and eat...and eat. I felt horrible, because it wasn't even food that is inherently good for you (Nutella, cookies etc...) I purged as much of it as I could that night.

Then it happened again, and again. Today was my fifth day to do this. I don't know why this started. Or why it persists. I never even thought about food before the summer. I tried to purge today and I've desensitized my gag reflex so I couldn't, and it's making me freak out. I can just imagine the weight gain. The past weekend has been miserable because of this cycle.

I'm 18, 5'11, 140lbs (although I'm sure I've gained weight over the weekend and last week)

I'm not overweight as of now....but.....it's the future that scares me.


And I can't tell my family. They really don't take kindly to abnormalities in the family. That's just a fact.

 

[QuinnRider]

youre technically underweight. At 5'11 you should be between 155-165lbs. Also, instead of doing what youre doing, maybe try and regulate yourself to a general healthy low fat diet and not do what youre doing. I know there is underlying cause, and now way in hell is it that simple, but if you can realize that eating healthily instead of depriving yourself so much, perhaps you wont feel the need to binge and then subsequently purge. Also, you noticed this very soon. Go see a therapist or counselor. As soon as possible. Good luck.

 

[Scottyboi]

ok, see the scary thing for me here is you seem more worried that you *cant throw up any more* due to a desensitized gag reflex than you are about you bulimia.

And make no mistake, you are exemplifying bulimic behavior.

You mentioned you live in dorms which makes me think you're in college, all colleges should have outreach counseling centers. You should visit one of these and seek help. Or you should confess to a friend (or a couple friends) so they can be your support network (or both).


Bulimia is horrible on your body, seriously go ahead and Google it. Not pretty.

 

[Serenx55]

I believe it might do you good to see a therapist and talk about the events which made you prone to purging. I would also start making your eating habits a communal thing ( Eat with up beat people and friends who can help you avoid relapse) and attempt to reduce stressors in your life. You can beat this!

 

[guyfromNY]

Nip this immediately and get help. Bulimia has the potential to destroy your future if you don't get it under control

 

[bankside]

My impression of eating disorders is that people allow them to persist for way too long because most of the time they still feel in control, and their lives are still pretty functional to passers by. If someone had a giant metal spike accidentally rammed through their upper arm, the ambulance would be called and things would be dealt with right away.

But with eating disorders it is possible to pretend things are okay or that "things can get back on track" or that you "just need more discipline so you won't let yourself get away with this any more and then everything will be fine....starting now...okay now......okay tuesday...but i have a test so i shouldn't push myself to break the habit until wednesday...and then i have that lecture....oh but I have to go out to dinner with the family on thursday and i'll have to eat a lot so maybe friday will balance things out and then i can get back to normal on saturday." And then people spend the next 5 years agonizing over feelings of guilt and compulsion and guilt about the compulsion and powerlessness and so on.

So don't do that.

Instead recognize that if you can't stop this as quickly as you started it, (not next week. not tomorrow, but now) that you almost certainly need support from a doctor to deal with this. This is not a matter of just trying to be more determined or being harder on yourself to make the effort. I don't have an eating disorder, and it's not because I have more willpower than you or because I'm better at being in charge of my emotions. It's because the health of my brain supports healthy choices. If you discover that you can't just go enjoy a sensible meal this evening and keep it down, then you need to see a doctor about your health as soon as an appointment is available.

 

[cocksucker4use]

Hey...you are just starting into bulimia. Sounds like your family is very controlling, and this is a way to be in charge of your body, at least...go to your student health center, get a counselor. Since you are in college, they have seen this before. They know what to do, how to help you.

 

[KaraBulut]

This obsession you've developed with food is an eating disorder. Don't take it lightly or dismiss it. You need to see a therapist who specializes in eating disorders before it goes any further.