Call me PARTNER - No Husband for me..

[tonyboy]

I like the term partner or boyfriend best.
Never cared for the term lover. That is so gay; the conntation is more one that fits a short term ( if not a one-night) relationship.

 

[kinkikiki]

I have a great deal of respect for averageguy, but it does sound a bit like there might be an underling dissatisfaction with being gay! I can't be too critical, as I have struggled with this having just come out of the closet in the last year myself. For me anyway, It's a matter of expressing the condition of my relationship with Eric and the word PARTNER just falls short for me. Only Boyfriend and Husband truly defines my commitment to Eric. The truth is I'm in love with a man and I'm a man as well!!! Although, I realize it also is a personal decision and could just be a matter of perspective! Besides, I will never be anyone's wife either!

I dont have a dissatisfaction with being gay...Been going to therapy for years now and thats not an issue I have....mind you, being disowned by ur homphobic father is a trip...

I call Ryan my boyfriend too, but calling him my husband, just makes me seem all Stepford-like.

Well if it's straight people who are making the comment, and they're being sincere about it, how about having them refer to your partner as "Your Ryan?"

That's a compromise that my friends and I have come up with when we're talking about each other's significant "other."

How's your Ryan? How are things with you and Ryan?

Instead of using a moniker like husband, why not using his name?

If people want to know who is Ryan, then you can define who he is in your life by your terms.

It's straight people mostly, and some dykes, most of our gay friends know to call him MY Ryan or my boyfriend....

 

[VanHiscers]

I agree with you, kinkikiki. "Husband and wife" is not the term for us. We're all men after all.

 

[Centexfarmer]

<snip>

I call Ryan my boyfriend too, but calling him my husband, just makes me seem all Stepford-like.



It's straight people mostly, and some dykes, most of our gay friends know to call him MY Ryan or my boyfriend....

That's interesting that you bring that up. Most Lesbians that I know refer to their girlfriends as "husband." But never "wife." Wassup wit dat?

 

[bicause]

Husband:
ORIGIN: original senses included "steward of a household" and "farmer": from Old Norse.

 

[apdragon]

We've been together 14 years.
When we meet new people, we introduce each other as "partner".
Around close friends we refer to each other as "husband"
I wouldn't use "boyfriend" if you beat me......we aren't giggly 14 year old junior high cheerleaders.
"other half" or "better half" doesn't bother me, either. I would hope that it is understand, by you all, that either phrase isn't meant to alude that one is NOT half a person, rather one half of a couple.
I agree with other posters......we don't have a good "name" to call each other. And I agree that marriage should be a church thing and a Civil Union should be the legal way to join a couple.
But, you know what? In the end.....it's all just words. I say use whatever "word" you like......it won't matter one hundred years from now anyway.

 

[RicanDAB]

I had time to think about this question while I was reading all your posts. My boyfriend and I are just boyfriends for now, but if and when that time comes to escalate the relationship, I honestly do not like the term "husband" when referencing him in formal settings. However, my gay friends and I use the "husband" term loosely to refer to our significant others. However, I would not mind referring to myself as "married".

"Boyfriend" is for the early stages of a relationship (less than 2 years I guess AND still living apart) ... and I really HATE the term "lover" as it infers that we're just sex machines and nothing more.

"Partner" is probably my personal preference.

Interestingly enough, I did not see anyone mention their like or dislike for the term "spouse"? What about that one guys?

 

[Michael Luc]

I guess I prefer lover, since that's the term we used the most when I first came out. But I don't mind husband or partner.

 

[sixthson]

He's my man and I'm his. I've never been real comfortable with partner, although we do sometimes use it. Boyfriend doesn't seem to fit when you've been together half your lives, either. Lover is too intimate. We're a couple in love and that is all the matters, I guess.

Centex, sweet guy, don't bring lesbians into this discussion. Don't we have enough troubles with ourselves. Uff da!

 

[M4P]

"Partner" is probably my personal preference.

Mine too

Interestingly enough, I did not see anyone mention their like or dislike for the term "spouse"? What about that one guys?

I think we would use "spouse" if and when we get married