Calling all straights...

[whatdidyousay]

Ditto again. You are either homosexual or bisexual. And perhaps slightly closer than both #1 and #2 towards figuring this out. |

I don't want to come off rude, so I hope you don't take this that way. But I think you might be doing gays and bi men and women a HUGE disservice if you believe that all it takes to be so is looking at some gay/bi porn everyone once and awhile.

Like seriously, did you read my post? I've never been with a guy, don't want to be with a guy, don't even fantasize about having gay sex. I've only had sex with women, and love it, but am comfortable enjoying some gay porn because a few things about certain gay porn is of it just is hot, and very taboo and naughty. I got no problem with you or anybody thinking I'm gay or bi, that doesn't really matter and it's whatever. Why should it matter, youp know? I know who I am and I'm proud of who I am.

But that seems really kinda insulting that everybody who has the guts to stand up and say that they are gay/bi, that its a huge part of who they are in this world, are put in the same boat as people who might look at some off the cuff porn from time to time. Hey, maybe it's just me, but it just kinda seems to me a lot more goes into being a gay/bi person than something so random and unimportant. I mean if I told you all the stuff I like to look at in porn, I'd be really embarrassed if you thought even half of it was stuff I'd even think about doing in real life. I'm kinda embarrassed even thinking about it lol!

 

[poolerboy]

[...]wankers polluted ChatRoulette. I just found myself getting aroused and I guess it's a combination of both voyeurism and just great looking cocks.[...]

ChatRoulette and 'great looking cocks' cannot be used in the same sentence.

Sorry but I call shens.

 

[whatdidyousay]

I can relate to all of this, but I'm a girl. Interesting.

Very interesting! Care to elaborate a little?

 

[buddy1970]

Human sexuality, to me, is a big, huge mystery. Are you straight? Does it matter? I suppose it would, for loose categorizations. In that sense, I would say yes, you're straight.

I think there's a spectrum of human sexuality, perhaps one end is 100% Straight and the other is 100% Gay. I'm beginning to wonder whether there is actually a single human being that inhabits either end completely, 100%.

I'm 95-99% gay. You sound 95-99% straight to me. Enjoy some cock, and maybe someday, I might actually be in a situation to lick some pussy.

 

[bankside]

I am 100% gay, inside and out. And maybe 14% straight.

 

[mark08]

You are not straight. You're gay. Or you're bi.

whatever helps you sleep at night

lol @ telling people what sex they're attracted to over the internet.

 

[whatdidyousay]

Fantasizing about something...and resisting fantasizing about something...are basically the same thing. It's urges. Desires. If you can acknowledge the existence of them to yourself, then you freely fantasize about them. If you can't, then your mind puts up a block to resist your fantasies of acting on them.

How silly. Who does this? My fantasy life is my own, and rich and varied. If I wanna enjoy fantasizing about having gay sex, I would. It would be such a silly thing to spend time trying so hard to NOT do. Hey, I've TRIED to. I really have, but guess what? Just doesn't really do anything. Are you suggesting I try harder? That I work a little more to force the fantasy until it sticks? I don't know brother, that seems like a lot of hard work just to get a nut off.

You are a male, yes? When something 'turns you on,' your cock gets hard, yes? When a type of porn 'gets you going,' I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume you jerk off to it, yes?

No need to answer.

Wow, you're gettin kinda personal. Can you buy me a drink first at least?

But if you must know, actually no. I rarely jack to gay porn. I usually watch straight porn, and sometimes mix in some gay porn/bi porn as I take my tour around the block. I could go through a dozen gay porn clips before I find one that really has an effect. It's just not that deep buddy, not that involved. It's PORN. I don't think porn has a whole heck of a lot to do with real life sexuality. I think many, many people now watch things that their friends and family would be shocked about, stuff that doesn't easily fit into the rest of who they are. People are complex that way, we are all big ole walking contradictions IMO. I guess it doesn't really make sense to me to equate porn with sexuality because I think a lot more goes into sexuality than what one off porn you enjoy. Unless in real life I'm interested in a bunch of really nasty, strange stuff that I can't even dream of doing.

I mean lately I've been getting off on European granny-fucking-grandson porn; I sure as hell hope that's not a hidden desire to fuck my 86 year old grandmother!

You can hide your desires from yourself and others...but they're still there.

Hey, I can dig it. I'm a very comfortable man, comfortable with who I am, what I like, and what I do. I work hard to stay honest with myself and with others. If you think I'm a closet case who's lying to myself, then it's a very happy lie. I don't argue my own sexuality just kinda like I don't argue religion; what's mine is mine, and at the end of the day I'm a little more qualified to speak my truth than anyone.

You're still on the dock.
Wanna join us?

No thanks. I'm happy on the dock. Got a nice little house on the shore, great wife, feel good in my own skin. Comfortable. I'm straight (no pun intended ) but thanks for the offer. You rock.

 

[Glamtam]

Hi, I am new here and came across the forum by searching Google trying to find out if there's anyone else in the same boat as me.

I am straight and very much attracted to females and that will definitely not change. I can get very detailed, but lets just say women are absolutely beautiful from head to toe. I have been dating a female for 5+ years just for some background. It wasn't until recently though that I have been getting very turned on by other naked men. I feel like it came about when all of the wankers polluted ChatRoulette. I just found myself getting aroused and I guess it's a combination of both voyeurism and just great looking cocks. I do fantasize about just touching a man and sometimes going down but it's simply that - fantasy. I would never go out and actually do anything and to be honest I get turned off when I see faces. It's just the cock that are arousing. I've recently come across ManRoulette and had a few JO sessions with other men and find it satisfying and very arousing.

Does this mean that I am bi-curious?

Are there any other straight guys who can relate?

This sums up exactly how I feel too. Photos of erect cocks look good but when the guy's face is in the photo too, it is a turn off for me. I see pics of a female porn star holding a massive cock, licking it and sucking it, and I sometimes fantasise about taking her place in the photo shoot! I think it is the taboo aspect of the whole thing that is a turn-on. I know I would never do anything for real with a guy but the fantasy is a turn-on. Maybe this makes no sense to a gay guy but I guess I am not the only one, which is good.

Glamtam.

 

[bankside]

One of the things I've talked about with my straight friends (one guy in particular) is watching lesbian porn, 15 years ago when it was less common and not really downloadable.

For him, after getting a bit bored with all the hetero porn clichés, it was fascinating to see what women's sexuality is like without having a man in the picture. He didn't want to become a lesbian of course, he just wanted to see what women got up to when there wasn't a man around. It was just another way to get some insight into the women he was into, kind of like seeing a private moment that by definition he could not be a part of.

I can also imagine a straight guy who is just curious about human sexuality in general, being interested in watching gay male porn. Not because he wants to be a part of it, but just because almost on an intellectual level, he wants to know what gay men get up to with each other.

I can watch straight porn for the same reason - it fascinates me to see the guy getting into it going down on a woman for example. I never want to take his place, but it's fun to watch him enjoying himself doing what he likes. It's kind of like looking into a parallel dimension. It's just about awareness and knowledge of the full spectrum of human experience. If I were brave enough, I think it would be fun to watch a straight couple we're friends with doing it at the same time as us. But I wouldn't want to switch places.

If I did want to switch places, though...if I desired what I see instead of just seeing it as a sexy contrast to my own desires...I'd have to stop calling myself gay. I would be bi-curious. Because that's what the word means. And if I tried it, liked it, and went back for more, I'd be officially bi.

People don't get to have the label they feel like having. They get the label that describes what they willingly want to do.

 

[Krakenbwool]

But if you must know, actually no. I rarely jack to gay porn. I usually watch straight porn, and sometimes mix in some gay porn/bi porn as I take my tour around the block. I could go through a dozen gay porn clips before I find one that really has an effect. It's just not that deep buddy, not that involved. It's PORN. I don't think porn has a whole heck of a lot to do with real life sexuality. I think many, many people now watch things that their friends and family would be shocked about, stuff that doesn't easily fit into the rest of who they are. People are complex that way, we are all big ole walking contradictions IMO. I guess it doesn't really make sense to me to equate porn with sexuality because I think a lot more goes into sexuality than what one off porn you enjoy. Unless in real life I'm interested in a bunch of really nasty, strange stuff that I can't even dream of doing.

This mirrors me in terms of porn taste, and I'm a girl. I feel you, dude.

I do occasionally look up and enjoy lesbian porn, but I still consider myself straight because I'm not attracted to women at all in my "actual life." Though I honestly would be a hypocrite if I actual did label myself because I believe that sexuality is a spectrum that can't possibly be labeled. So I don't really care if anyone calls me bisexual or a lesbian (for some reason). Whatever it is, I know I like men, like really like men, and that's what matters in the end.

Honestly, I can't fathom how people can be absolutely 100% heterosexual or homosexual. What I mean by that is having absolutely no fantasy about the "foreign" sex ever. I believe that as humans we all have the ability to recognize and enjoy others' pleasure, regardless of gender. I do believe, however, that societal constructs play a huge role in whether we pursue them or not. Personally, one of the reasons I don't want to try experimenting with another girl is not because I have anything against it, but that I don't want to fall into the loathed male chauvinist cliche of "all chicks are bisexual, hurr hurr." Especially if they're hypocritical men who would be disgusted of any male-male action themselves. Fuck 'em.

In this manner, I think the most honest relationships would only exist between an openly bisexual man and an openly bisexual woman because they could both recognize and empathize with each others' desires.

 

[mark08]

Sleep? Why would I want to do that? You miss out on things when you sleep.



Don't be silly. I merely corrected your contradiction.



You say you have no attraction to men. And then you say yes, you are indeed attracted to men.

lolhahahakthxbai

I mean, troll away Mark, but at least have the pride to do it well. Show some skill.

All you've really shown us so far is that you hate yourself because you love cock, and you take out your anger on a gay forum by...boring us?

Meh. Suit yourself. Whatever helps you sleep at night.




Or face your fears.

Have you ever?

Rude? Not at all.

Ego-centric in your reasoning? Absolutely. But that's OK.



Yep. Seriously. Why do you think I replied to it?



Fantasizing about something...and resisting fantasizing about something...are basically the same thing. It's urges. Desires. If you can acknowledge the existence of them to yourself, then you freely fantasize about them. If you can't, then your mind puts up a block to resist your fantasies of acting on them.

But the block fails. Your urges and desires still get through to you. And it looks like this...



Yes. How odd. It's 'hot,' 'intense,' 'gets you going,' 'turns you on'...

You are a male, yes? When something 'turns you on,' your cock gets hard, yes? When a type of porn 'gets you going,' I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume you jerk off to it, yes?

No need to answer.

Like you said:



You don't fantasize about letting yourself have gay sex.

But you want to.

This is why I said you are either homosexual or bisexual. You are not heterosexual.

You can hide your desires from yourself and others...but they're still there.



Good. And it doesn't matter. You're you. And you happen to get aroused from watching men have sex with each other. Call yourself what you want.

But hey, welcome to reality. Self-deceptions don't fly here. They belong to you, not us. And people will point them out. For your benefit, not theirs.

So that you can finally realize...



...that we already have a boat. A cruise ship. A fucking huge one! With tons of different sections to it!

And we're already boarded. You're still on the dock.

Wanna join us?

Or would you rather hop in a dinghy and remain port-bound?

You sound like one of those old creeper trying to push homosexuality of everyone in order to cope with his own issues.

Get help.

 

[bankside]

I do occasionally look up and enjoy lesbian porn, but I still consider myself straight because I'm not attracted to women at all in my "actual life." Though I honestly would be a hypocrite if I actual did label myself because I believe that sexuality is a spectrum that can't possibly be labeled. So I don't really care if anyone calls me bisexual or a lesbian (for some reason). Whatever it is, I know I like men, like really like men, and that's what matters in the end.

That's the point I was trying to get at in my earlier post. I see a difference between wanting to be aware of other different sexuality (the enjoyment of knowing about people whose sexuality is different from my own), and being directly curious about it as an integral part of my own desire. It's the difference between wanting to experience someone else's sexuality in parallel with my own, or wanting to experience it intersecting with my own. I'm definitely curious about heterosexuality in parallel. Not so sure about intersecting....

Honestly, I can't fathom how people can be absolutely 100% heterosexual or homosexual. What I mean by that is having absolutely no fantasy about the "foreign" sex ever. I believe that as humans we all have the ability to recognize and enjoy others' pleasure, regardless of gender. I do believe, however, that societal constructs play a huge role in whether we pursue them or not.

Sometimes I think the problem comes from measuring homosexuality and heterosexuality on the same scale instead of two independent scales. In order to explore one direction, you have to be less of the other. That doesn't match my own experience. I'm 100% homosexual. I understand other men, I dig them, I enjoy them, I'm 100% confident in that world and always will be, no matter what else I learn about human sexuality. Beyond that and in addition to that, I'm also a few percent hetero...maybe... Sometimes enough to call myself curious about it, not just in an abstract way, but in a direct way. But that will never make me less gay than I am.

Personally, one of the reasons I don't want to try experimenting with another girl is not because I have anything against it, but that I don't want to fall into the loathed male chauvinist cliche of "all chicks are bisexual, hurr hurr."

Do you really want to limit your intuitive personal sexual exploration as a political tactic against an opponent (the chavinist) who is truly not even a worthy opponent?

In this manner, I think the most honest relationships would only exist between an openly bisexual man and an openly bisexual woman because they could both recognize and empathize with each others' desires.

I still don't know enough to understand if men's and women's sexuality are equivalent for that to make a difference. In a bi male/female (open) couple do the man and the woman want to fuck their boyfriend for the same reasons? In the same ways? With the same motivations? Seeking the same fulfillment? Offering the same emotions?

I usually see straight couples happy to confine themselves to certain stereotypical ways of relating to each other. Sadly a lot of people haven't really moved that far from the 1950s when "the man" was "head of the household." I find it not only in their everyday lives, but also in their ideas about dating and relationships. I also find it completely unerotic.* Even bi people in hetero relationships can fall into that rut, though I would say less so.

And once in a while I find a straight couple who totally rejects that dynamic and it is fascinating and erotic, and much more familiar to me from the secret garden of gay non-standard sexuality that I understand and love.

So what does that mean? That I'm actually able to enjoy heterosexuality as long as it is liberated? Or that heterosexuality doesn't really work for some male/female couples either, so they fuck each other like the queers they are?



*I actually find it so unerotic that it spills over into my reaction to anything that even vaguely reminds me of that stereotypical hetero dynamic, like gay couples that stick to top & bottom roles, or submissive & dominant roles, or anything like that. Intellectually, I know it might just be about what that particular couple finds physically pleasurable. Or they might be playing with stereotypes of masculinity & femininity, or butch/femme, but doing so consciously and consentingly as a fetish that amuses them. That doesn't change my emotional reaction to any of it which is complete and utter boner-flatlining arousal-destroying rejection of something that feels completely alien to me.

 

[whatdidyousay]

Kraken and Bank, thank you so much for your thoughts. I really enjoy reading them and agree with a ton of what you say about sexuality!

Honestly, I can't fathom how people can be absolutely 100% heterosexual or homosexual. What I mean by that is having absolutely no fantasy about the "foreign" sex ever.

Yeah. Thats the main reason I think people would be SHOCKED at the sexual thoughts that have passed through the average straight person's mind. Like, seriously blown away. But social constructs limit people from just being honest about their curiosities. I mean this on ALL sides so I'm not just singling out ignorant straights here. The guy above already has me pegged, for example, as a closet homosexual who is lying to myself and my wife, and living a lie because I admit to enjoying some gay/bi porn every once in awhile. The average man or woman who considers themself straight is NEVER going to admit those in between thoughts when you're facing that kind of impossible criteria from people, gay and straight. Kinda reminds me of the old racist "one drop" rule, you know?

I just believe most people live a step or a step and a half outside of the Kinsey ends. Pressure just makes people round up or down to the closest fitting slot just to have an identity that can be easily related to. Ignorance on all sides has proven that most people are NOT accepting of odd, unusual, or contradictory thoughts and behaviors.

So what does that mean? That I'm actually able to enjoy heterosexuality as long as it is liberated?

And once in a while I find a straight couple who totally rejects that dynamic and it is fascinating and erotic, and much more familiar to me from the world of gay non-standard sexuality



*I actually find it so unerotic that it spills over into my reaction to anything that even vaguely reminds me of that stereotypical hetero dynamic, like gay couples that stick to top & bottom roles, or submissive & dominant roles, or anything like that.

First off, killer posts on this topic. You have such a fresh perspective!

That does make me wonder if people's repulsion to the "other side" has more to do with the perception of gender roles and norms, then the actual act itself. Replused by the "stereotypes" but not actually the sex acts themselves.

Like I can SO relate to this but from the other end. The stereotypical homo dynamic isn't attractive me at all, but I can appreciate the erotic in certain male same sex acts, even if it's from the perspective of a voyuer only.

I think there is just something very fascinating about seeing other masculine men in such, in my world at least, unusual roles. In that kind of porn men are the focal point and the stereotypical gender roles are blurred. The focus in some gay porn is men, being MEN, enjoying themselves and being open about that. Not a lot of degradation or judgement about roles like you see in a lot of straight porn. It's a huge challenge to my ideas about masculinity and male sexuality and I actually appreciate the challenge now.

It's about gender perception as much as a sexual one, if not more so.

 

[Krakenbwool]

Do you really want to limit your intuitive personal sexual exploration as a political tactic against an opponent (the chavinist) who is truly not even a worthy opponent?

I don't. But I guess my point was that I can see why some straight guys don't ever want to admit wanting to experiment with other men because they don't want to admit "giving in" to the homosexual man's pleasure, in the same way that I don't really want to experiment with a chick for the sake of some douche straight guy to jerk off to it later. In a way, I feel that gay/bi men are at the absolute apex of the human sexual pyramid simply because of the absolute freedom they have in terms of their willingness to explore their sexualities.

That does make me wonder if people's repulsion to the "other side" has more to do with the perception of gender roles and norms, then the actual act itself. Replused by the "stereotypes" but not actually the sex acts themselves.

Like I can SO relate to this but from the other end. The stereotypical homo dynamic isn't attractive me at all, but I can appreciate the erotic in certain male same sex acts, even if it's from the perspective of a voyuer only.

I think there is just something very fascinating about seeing other masculine men in such, in my world at least, unusual roles. In that kind of porn men are the focal point and the stereotypical gender roles are blurred. The focus in some gay porn is men, being MEN, enjoying themselves and being open about that. Not a lot of degradation or judgement about roles like you see in a lot of straight porn. It's a huge challenge to my ideas about masculinity and male sexuality and I actually appreciate the challenge now.

It's about gender perception as much as a sexual one, if not more so.

Very interesting, and I agree with much of it.

I have to admit that while I do enjoy watching gay porn and occasionally lesbian porn, I have a problem stomaching most heterosexual porn because of the gender dynamic there, which is often violent and/or detached. For example, men are used pretty much as prop cocks. And often times, the man doesn't even usually look like he's enjoying getting blown/fucking, more than he is relishing at choking or abusing a woman. And most of the women in porn are either grossly exaggerating their "pleasure" or screaming in pain, which isn't fun either how.

I enjoy homosexual porn more because both partners are on a relatively even playing field, and in a sense, are allowed to be more sexually "free" with each other (though with a lot of lesbian porn, you get the sense that these chicks are just playing off for the man behind the camera lens, which makes me cringe).

 

[whatdidyousay]

I LOVE Phillip Glass.

 

[MisterMajestic]

Hi, I am new here and came across the forum by searching Google trying to find out if there's anyone else in the same boat as me.

I am straight and very much attracted to females and that will definitely not change. I can get very detailed, but lets just say women are absolutely beautiful from head to toe. I have been dating a female for 5+ years just for some background. It wasn't until recently though that I have been getting very turned on by other naked men. I feel like it came about when all of the wankers polluted ChatRoulette. I just found myself getting aroused and I guess it's a combination of both voyeurism and just great looking cocks. I do fantasize about just touching a man and sometimes going down but it's simply that - fantasy. I would never go out and actually do anything and to be honest I get turned off when I see faces. It's just the cock that are arousing. I've recently come across ManRoulette and had a few JO sessions with other men and find it satisfying and very arousing.

Does this mean that I am bi-curious?
Are there any other straight guys who can relate?

It doesnt have to mean anything....A Huge number of Straight Men & Women experience same-sex attraction at least once in their lifetime and they get-over-it...My Generation of 30-somethings and the next Generation tend to embrace "Bisexuality" like never before.....I really believe in the near Future "Gay Bashing" will happen less & less among circles-of-Straight Friends simply because most people will have a "Bi-Experience" with a Friend or a stranger......People are deciding to come out as Gay or Bisexual in their teens to early 20's. It is really amazing to witness...

I was in High school in the early 90's and the internet was offered @ my high school but most of us never cared to go to the Computer Lab and try it out....I didnt explore my Bisexuality with Guys during my teen years but I probably would have "searched" for topics or maybe even Gay sites had the Internet played a role in the classroom and at home.....We are now living in a world where Cyber-Space allows the person sitting in front of the key board to search out things they're curious about...

Right now all of this is just a "Fantasy" for you...Where you go from there is all up to you...

 

[isieme]

I was compelled to register just to respond to this.

Based on all of the personal experiences on sexuality people share all over the place, my personal experience, and whatever knowledge I have, I adduce that sexuality is just different in other people period. Sexuality is more fixed for some people and more fluid in others and even this is subject to change throughout the person's life.

For me personally, it's been pretty fixed throughout my whole life; I mean even from my earliest memories (though obviously more innocent). And it was in my best interest to believe that's just the way people are born, the end. But the fact is that there are other people whose experience is completely different; even this whole questioning of "sexual orientation", for me, it's always been so blatantly obvious that I didn't understand that at all- but really, what was there to understand about that besides that's just some peoples' experience. I do remember as I got older and heard some people saying how a person's gender doesn't matter to them at, in fact, the person's physical appearance didn't matter at all to them. That became my absolute ideal: I want to be like that; why is my sense of initial attraction so absolutely shallow? Well, guess what, it's still the same regardless of what I want it to be like. Maybe, it will change one day, maybe in a whole different direction than I wanted, but if that happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, it doesn't- I'm just gonna let things take their natural course.

Basically, sexuality is complex and probably influenced by both genetics and environment. I bring up my example because some people think "being influenced by environment" means you can change it at will, but how could one possibly control the entire world around someone including how the person interprets a situation- ya can't; you can try to control as much as you want, but you can't control wants going on inside someone else's head even if you discounted genetics.

To get back to the initial person's question- in your case, I think it's initially due to classical conditioning (but it's possible that while it was initially a learned response, your neurons have rewired to it): ya've been watching straight hardcore porn for a certain amount of time and well, such scenes often involve both women and men (mostly men just from the abdomen down). While the women may initially be the only thing turning you on, the fact is your brain is still seeing penis each of those times of arousal, so your brain has also associated penis with turned on. This explains why the fantasy guy's are faceless (because you're initially straight) and well the arousal is from "great looking cocks" (because that's why a lot of those guys got the job in the first place). This is just what I think is happening in your case based on the information you've provided. It also may indicate that conditioning can greatly influence your sexual orientation (which I personally don't think is a bad thing); this means that if you watched gay porn enough (initially only getting aroused by the "great looking cocks", but later you could possibly start becoming aroused by guys).
What does this mean? It means you could have some degree of "control"; however there's other information that has to be considered: how long you've been watching porn, how regularly do you watch porn, whether you felt this way before you ever watched porn, how long and how regularly you watched porn before you started to notice this, when in your lifetime did you first notice this (this is because I've heard of hormonal changes (such as puberty) having an influence in some individuals), specific life events during this time, etc. (This is exactly why environmental influence doesn't really make things easier to control sexuality as some people would like to believe).

From here, it all comes down to what you want: if it's a big deal to you (in a bad way), you could try to re-learn just being aroused by women or unlearn being aroused by the cocks (though once again, we don't know if this is the definitive reason in your case, and all of the moderating factors you have to consider). If I were in such a situation, I'd run the experiment using gay porn out of curiosity of whether it could be conditioned in me (maybe it's because I'm a psych major that I'd be curious about that). Me, personally, I don't think my sexual orientation is as influenced by conditioning (which kind of sucks, because I find the incessant over-the-top shrieking and howling of the actresses torturous and when they stare directly into the camera, libido gone).