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Came out as bi..

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FootBoy

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Hey everyone, about 4 days ago, the urge to tell my family I was bi just became the only thing on my mind, so within the day, I eventually told them. It couldnt have gone better, but of course it was awkward.

The problem that arose, was that my parents want me to be sure that I am bi, and they dont want me to use being bi to 'soften the blow' of being gay. Buuuuuuut the thing is, I dont even know myself.

I feel I like guys 85% and girls ~15%. That alone makes me think coming out as bi was untrue. I am a virgin but I have experimented with a guy and a girl before, so I feel like I cannot match it to a label.

So the question is, should I wait until I experiment more to tell my family a definite answer? Or should I just not bother saying anything until an event, e.g. getting a boyfriend.

All I know is lately getting a boyfriend is on my mind alot and I watch gay porn almost everytime I watch porn. I just dont know who to tell what. Also this goes for my friends too. I have told none of my friends that I am bi and I am not too sure what to do there either.
 
Congratulations. You made the a very big first step. Family is the hardest as you can't replace them, friends you can.

I think you probably did the right thing by telling your family you are bi and I hope you told them what you told us here in that you are really unsure of yourself and that you are still figuring yourself out. There is nothing wrong with that and you are young and just starting out so who knows who or what you will be.

Have you figured out your entire working career yet? Have you figured out your social and political views yet? Probably not. So why would you have figured out your sexual life yet? As you said, you are just starting out and have only experimented once with each sex. Give yourself some time, play the field with both sexes, see what you like, what you don't like, see what gets your turned on the most and what doesn't. After some time goes by, you will get an idea and then you can tell your parents and whoever else you want to share with who you are inside.

I hope that you keep the lines of communication open with your parents and family and that you share with them the facts that you shared here with us, that you are just starting out and that you are not sure yourself. Let them know that you are finding yourself and will let them know when you find yourself.

Best of wishes to you, good luck in your future, and congratulations on your first big step. Now go out and enjoy your life and find out for sure who you like.
 
Lol I had the same problem. Everyone thinks that I say I am bi to "soften" the fact that I am gay. How is that softening anything? So I made this 18 x 48 inch drawing of how I see my bisexuality. They kept quite about it, out of horror or understanding I don't know.

Like you OP I have large inclination toward men. Maybe in a few years ill be 100% gay? I don't care it really is nobodies business but our own.
 
Those are only labels. So they mean what you want them to mean. Personally, for me a good rule of thumb is - if you PREFER any one gender, that's where your orientation is, whether you are sometimes interested in the other or not. Bisexuals to me are those who REALLY don't prefer either gender.
 
Good for you to be open with your family!

From now on tho, how much do you really need to talk to them about your orientation and sex life? It's not like you need to keep them updated with status reports nor labels. Just go out and do your thing, be yourself. They know you are figuring it out and it will become obvious to them, as well as to yourself, as you proceed with dating, life, etc.
 
You did a brave thing and don't let anyone tell you differently.
 
scooter63 said:
Give yourself some time, play the field with both sexes, see what you like, what you don't like, see what gets your turned on the most and what doesn't.
Click to expand...

jaysizzes said:
It's not like you need to keep them updated with status reports nor labels.
Click to expand...

I couldn't agree more. Don't waste your time labeling yourself. Experiment.

The problem that arose, was that my parents want me to be sure that I am bi, and they dont want me to use being bi to 'soften the blow' of being gay.
Click to expand...

If they think that they face a 'blow' they should be happy that you try to soften it with the 'bisexual airbag'!
 
As a parent, my guess is that your parents want you to have the courage and honesty to be who you are. If you are still questioning I'd let them know that. I'll bet they only want you to be confident and happy without having to tiptoe around anyone. Best wishes.
 
Wow all of these responses are fantastic.

When I came out I ended up saying "I dont know where I will be in a few years, but for now I like boys and I like girls."

I guess I will tell them when I know for sure.
 
Sounds like a good plan to me. Now relax and let your needs and wants take you where you're supposed to go. :)
 
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