Can a chub chaser & a skinny guy make it work?

[ahotjock71]

I've been seeing this wonderful guy for abt 3 months. We have our ups & downs, but we love each other & make things work.

My biggest concern is he is a chubby chaser. He loves muscle bears with big bellies. I'm far from that, I'm 5'10" and 150 lbs, skinny to say the least.

I've been very open to gaining weight & bulking up to be that man for him but it's starting to weird me out some. I love tall stocky boys myself, so it's not that I don't quite understand his fetish, although I've never encountered it personally & don't really understand it.

We haven't had sex yet, we've been waiting so it will be special. We've both been ready the last couple of weeks but schedules & colds have kept anything from happening.

I do text him sexy stories to get him off, but he only wants stories where i am huge, am eating, etc. It is beginning to bother me because the fetish holds no intrest for me what so ever. I just cant come up with sexy stories that involve what he wants without feeling stupid or very uncomfortable, and it's a huge turn off for me. I try hard to tell him what he wants but I'm avoiding it more & more.

He says he loves me like I am, my size, but I feel like I've made a commitment to get fat by telling him I would get big for him....he also says I turn him on, but how can a skinny dude turn on a guy who only gets a nut to fat?

I dunno what to think, I'm afraid that one day it's going to come to a piont where it aggrivates me to death or he is going to realize he's not really attracted to me, but who he wants me to be.

Can we make it work?

Advice & comments welcome.

 

[midnight81]

No matter what, you need to be with someone who loves you for who you are. I'd say it to someone who was larger and with someone who was trying to get them to lose weight and I'll say it to you.

Don't change who you are for someone else. If you're skinny naturally, don't try to bulk up just for him. What happens then if it doesn't work out and you can't get back to how skinny you were before? And then what if you can't find someone who wants to date you because you're bigger? You're going to feel the same way but you'll feel even more powerless.

Love yourself for who you are and if your boyfriend can't get it up for you because you're too skinny, find someone who will. The world is full of guys who are into skinny boys. And speaking as someone who IS bearish and has a gut (and a very cute face) and can't seem to find ANYONE who is attracted to me, if your boyfriend can't get it up for someone who isn't a bear, give him up so he can go out and find someone he IS attracted to.

 

[Elwood]

I am of the belief that you shouldn't change for anyone ,you are who you are. He either accepts you as you are or not.

 

[KaraBulut]

The question is one of degrees.

If this guy wants you to talk about being bigger but not actually get bigger, that's one thing. If you're going to have to become Fat Bastard just so he can get off, then that's not good.

The same would be true if he wanted you to wear come-fuck-me pumps every now and then during sex.

If it's something you're comfortable with, it's a special fantasy that is indulged every now and then and you don't have to change who your are just for the fantasy, then go for it and enjoy.

But if this guy can only have sex in that form- whether it be the high heels or the massive weight gain- then you're better off losing him. Otherwise, you're going to be wondering what other chubby he's chasing and why you gained a bunch of weight for a guy who dumped you for someone bigger.

 

[Just_Believe18]

I agree with the advice above. You shouldn't have to change for anybody. The fact that you haven't had intimate contact in the 3 months you've "been together" shows serious doubts about your relationship.

To him, sex is a fetish. A fat guy eating is not related to sexual behavior. You need a normal boyfriend who wants you for who you are, not getting a hard-on in watching you eat a hamburger.

 

[seven2go]

5' 10" and 150 pounds is NOT skinny....... .......

 

[boxerdudeuk]

5' 10" and 150 pounds is NOT skinny....... .......

?? are you serious? it's not emaciated but if you think that's fat - give your head a shake

 

[seven2go]

Dude......where did you get FAT from my statement?

WTF.......

I SAID it's not SKINNY.......

 

[boiseboy]

I kind of laughed thinking about you sexting him eating stories.

 

[GamerBear]

Yeah I've seen too many gainer horror stories from relationships where the skinny guy is wanting his partner to gain more weight.

Don't change your body and make yourself unhealthy so you can turn him on. If he was happy the way you are don't gain more weight so you can make him happy. That's not a relationship or any kind of friendship its more of a chore.

 

[rareboy]

Do not fatten just for him.

Just back slowly out of the room and then run like hell.

This is about control, not fat.

Each of you should find a more compatible mate....

Three months and you haven't had sex yet?

 

[bankside]

If he is locked into a fantasy where he can't really appreciate anyone who does not play into that fantasy then he is damaged goods. It is one thing to have an idea that he finds erotic, and playing around with that idea is fun for everybody. But if he really sees the fantasy as being more important then run don't walk. He can find somebody else who is just as committed to the fantasy, and they can be damaged goods together.

BTW waiting three months is just fine. It lets you find out these things about people before you take it too far.

 

[rareboy]

BTW waiting three months is just fine. It lets you find out these things about people before you take it too far.

Interesting perspective. I think sex early on would have been preferable because you'd find this kind of shit out early in the physical intimacy game, before you got too far involved emotionally and found out you were not compatible.

I guess I hold my heart and emotions in higher esteem than an ejaculation.

As I said, if he wants you to fatten up, it isn't about fantasy, it is about him having control over your body and body image. It is unhealthy and potentially dangerous.

 

[bankside]

Interesting perspective. I think sex early on would have been preferable because you'd find this kind of shit out early in the physical intimacy game, before you got too far involved emotionally and found out you were not compatible.

I guess I hold my heart and emotions in higher esteem than an ejaculation.

As I said, if he wants you to fatten up, it isn't about fantasy, it is about him having control over your body and body image. It is unhealthy and potentially dangerous.

Yeah, my perspective is that if I just want to blow a load, that's what fleshjack is for. I don't mind waiting to figure out a few things about the guy before we do it, like whether he is a good long-term prospect, whether we'd like to be together instead of just get off together, and my dick enjoys it more when my heart and emotions are part of the deal.

I don't see something casual as a bad thing, I just don't find it as erotic as the whole package.

Mind you it is all kind of theoretical, because my guy and I found each other 12 years ago and we've been entertaining each other ever since. Funny thing though, even in my fantasies I'm not banging strangers, they're all people I've thought about for a long time, and the fantasies are more like polyamoury than a random hook-up, so at least I'm consistent. LOL.

 

[terps420]

Whoa dude, are you for real? Why would you ever voluntarily offer to gain weight? And for another man for that matter? That's ridiculous.

I think everything in relationships should be negotiable, fetishes and all. Everything except for you. If it freaks you out and makes you feel uncomfortable then you should at very least tell him so. Maybe he'll let it go? If not... you should probably let him go.