bravojohnny
Sex God
As it's my first blog I figured it should be something important to me. Like the question that has pretty much haunted me for the past 3 years. Are we capable of change?
I realise now, looking back what an absolute and complete dick I was to certain guys in the past. I lied, I cheated and went through a short time of treating guys with little respect.
In particular there was a time of my life where I lived with a huge community of mostly gay/bi and curious guys (that's the entertainment industry for you) and within a short time this 'token Irish' guy became a bit of a slut.
I made my rounds and broke a few hearts, I wasn't the nicest of people and did some very stupid things. Like dating a guy because he was potentially a bigger slut than I was. Or coming between 2 best friends by sleeping with both of them (on separate occasions). Or ending a relationship because I was obsessed with someone else, someone I couldn't have.
For the last year or so, I've tried my best to reconcile and correct all the wrongs that I've done, some successful, some not so. But it gave me hope that I was a new person, a more mature guy that realised how horrible I'd been and didn't want a repeat.
Every now and again I'm plagued with the fear that this part of my past will resurface and I'm destined to fuck up every guy I meet. It seems that way, that anytime a guy develops feelings for me he inevitably gets messed up somehow.
Is it me?? Are we capable of change?? I sure hope so....
I realise now, looking back what an absolute and complete dick I was to certain guys in the past. I lied, I cheated and went through a short time of treating guys with little respect.
In particular there was a time of my life where I lived with a huge community of mostly gay/bi and curious guys (that's the entertainment industry for you) and within a short time this 'token Irish' guy became a bit of a slut.
I made my rounds and broke a few hearts, I wasn't the nicest of people and did some very stupid things. Like dating a guy because he was potentially a bigger slut than I was. Or coming between 2 best friends by sleeping with both of them (on separate occasions). Or ending a relationship because I was obsessed with someone else, someone I couldn't have.
For the last year or so, I've tried my best to reconcile and correct all the wrongs that I've done, some successful, some not so. But it gave me hope that I was a new person, a more mature guy that realised how horrible I'd been and didn't want a repeat.
Every now and again I'm plagued with the fear that this part of my past will resurface and I'm destined to fuck up every guy I meet. It seems that way, that anytime a guy develops feelings for me he inevitably gets messed up somehow.
Is it me?? Are we capable of change?? I sure hope so....