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Changing?

Kulindahr

Kulindahr

Knox's Papa
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I got jumped all over on this forum for being bi. It was called hiding, self-deception, and a bunch of other things including a "transition phase" on the way to becoming truly gay... because there's no such thing as bi, just gays who aren't honest.

I did a lot of getting pissed.

Then I noticed this summer that the gals didn't seem to look as hot as they used to.
And I noticed that more guys than used to looked hot, and it hit me harder.

I've been seasonal in my orientation ever since I faced being sexual at all, and usually in the summer my desires were dominated by females, and in the winter it was almost totally for guys. But this last summer, guys had my attention just a bit more than gals. And it isn't even winter yet, but hardly a gal catches my eye and sends that little chill ripple of desire through me.

Apparently I'm changing.

Or am I, really? All that crap I keep getting from gay guys about being bi... I spent most of my life convinced I wasn't even sexual -- is my mind just shutting down on seeing chicks as hot because I don't want the negativity?

I are confused. :confused:
 
Screw those who jumped on you. Be whatever you want to be. Decide for yourself. If you like boys and girls you have doubled you chance for sex. Girls are not for me, to to each his own. If you learn you like boys exclusively, welcome to my world.
 
At times, it is quite all right to be an opportunist.

Dump all of that emotional baggage overboard and take it one day at a time and one dude/gal at a time. (Dunno, if you like groups?)

Disregard completely the notion that other people know better, who you are than yourself. Furthermore, feel perfectly free to reinvent and re-define yourself as often as you want.

It is your life and you make ALL the decisions.

Have a good one.

SC
 
Just ride the waves of sexual attraction. The only thing that could hurt you is repression!
 
SilverRRCloud said:
.... take it one day at a time and one dude/gal at a time. (Dunno, if you like groups?)
Click to expand...

That question was quite pointed for me.
I can imagine myself with a guy and a gal, or with two guys... but the idea of two gals makes me ill. Even if it was two guys and two gals.... ugh.

--O2-- said:
The people that tell you that bi doesn't really exist? That you are gay and hiding it? That you're confused? That it's a phase?

Fuck'em.

It's nobody's place to tell you who you are but your own. These decisions are yours to make, and no one else's. Pigeonholing yourself into someone else's definition isn't ever going to help you.

It's your choice, your body, your love, your life. Make the most of it!
Click to expand...

Would you mind telling Soilwork that? :badgrin:
 
noelie said:
Same here. Some days I'm like wow she's hot and some days I'm like wow he's hot - I believe in evolution and that there are some people (human animals (humanimals)) who are opportunists and will take what they can get (for whatever reasons whether they be nature or nurture). Don't sweat or fret and go with the flow lad (your own flow by the way).
Click to expand...

My flow is likely to leave me single and lonely. I need to learn a little other flow.
 
noelie said:
I know several gay men who are in straight relationships (with kids) purely because they don't want to be single and lonely - their wives know that they're gay and that they still have gay sex but turn a blind eye to it. It's a solution - not perfect though. It's understandable here in the 'deep south' of Ireland as the gay scene is tiny. I presume it's extremely controversial and I'll probably get lashed out of it now by 'fellow' Jubbers (especially those who like to attack anyone and everything just for the heck of it).
Click to expand...

I don't think I could go that route. If I knew a guy and a gal who both were down with it, and we were a "triple" (as opposed to a couple), it would be great... but that's probably more remote than getting David Bromstad for a life partner.

Okay, maybe not much more remote. :rolleyes:
 
Eh, sexuality can change during a person's lifetime.

It's extremely fun when it changes during the week. [/sarcasm]

I wouldn't be too worried if your seasonal thing gets screwed up. Maybe you'll change to be predominantly one or the other for a time. That doesn't mean it will always be that way though. Or maybe your seasons are flipping, who's to say?

Like everyone else has said, screw those that say they know you better than you know yourself.

Right now, I think I'm a fluid bisexual and am a little concerned about what would happen if I got in a relationship and my orientation changed. I can understand you not wanting to hurt your partner in anyway because of it. However, you shouldn't let that hold you back. Go with what you feel and what you want and don't worry about the 'what if's'.
 
My notion about two chicks at once got reconfirmed last night. Due to being sort of stranded, I ended up in a motel. While at the swimming pool, one chick came in with her two kids; she was definitely on the low end of "hot". We got to talking, and discovered we'd both been lifeguards, both wrestled, both mountain biked... I started wondering, "How do I get her apart from the kids, and maybe suggest skinny-dipping?" But she left before my brain came to my aid -- though she stuck in my mind.
I swam laps by myself for a while, and then another family showed up... and, again, the chick was hot. I started imagining skinny-dipping with her -- and the image of the other chick came in, and I felt, well, dirty. Either alone I could have pursued, but the thought of both at once drained my enthusiasm for either.

But I passed by three good-looking college-age guys in the hall later, and the thought of all three of them at once set me on fire.

Maybe if I had some gay buddies, things might be a little more stable for me? :confused:
 
There's not much horniness, if any, involved. I'm not getting RHOs, I haven't even had morning wood for quite a while. If I follow my dick right now, I'd lie in bed all day like a slob. Even with those two chicks, the desire was more for closeness than anything. Any desire for sex lately has been wanting a way to be close to someone, not a wish for pleasure.
 
SilverRRCloud said:
At times, it is quite all right to be an opportunist.

Dump all of that emotional baggage overboard and take it one day at a time and one dude/gal at a time. (Dunno, if you like groups?)

Disregard completely the notion that other people know better, who you are than yourself. Furthermore, feel perfectly free to reinvent and re-define yourself as often as you want.

It is your life and you make ALL the decisions.

Have a good one.

SC
Click to expand...
:-)I say this is the best advise a guy can get:cool:. :D I agree with SilverRRCloud 1Million%. ..|You need one of these(*8*) Just Chill-Out Dude. Life is to short and sweat to be bogged down with somebody's](*,) hang-ups and neg.energy. Peace and Love.:kiss:
 
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